It’s a question that has plagued mankind since the beginning of time, or least, mankind: Who should really be primary on this patient?  Gomerblog has searched through the literature, spending well over 15 maybe 16 minutes on the endeavor, and based on our findings we’ve created this handy-dandy chart to help you figure out where you should send your patient.  Remember, it’s best to make those phone calls to other services as early as possible or at 5 PM, whichever comes first.

primary
Figure 1 of 1: A breakdown of where your patient really belongs.

Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.