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BOSTON, MA – Now this is just sickening: Gomerblog has received multiple reports that Dr. Mason Cho, a urologist at Massachusetts Specific Hospital (MSH), keeps looking at his patients’ genitals, both men and women. What a damn sicko!

“This is a complete breach of professional conduct, it violates patient privacy, and we absolutely do not condone this type of behavior, especially from a medical professional,” wrote MSH administration in a statement released today. “He must be held accountable.”

Cho has been placed on indefinite suspension without pay.

According to hundreds of accounts from patients and medical staff, Cho has made it a career repeating a predictable but disturbing pattern: greeting his patients either in the office or in the hospital, listening to their complaints as if he cared, and then immediately examining their genitals, male and female, on physical exam.

“He even did this in the presence of nurses, techs, and medical students,” exclaimed nurse Evelyn Tuttle. “In fact, he even asked us to please come into the room so we could watch. Ugh. He would always ask permission from the patient to do the exam, although we know it was just an act. Come on, talk about a huge pervert. This guy should not be practicing medicine. He’s a urologist, for Pete’s sake.”

Gomerblog was able to access several of Cho’s patient charts, and what we found was even more disturbing: he described the patient’s genitals in incredible detail – down to the urethra even! – and then would occasionally describe future plans to manipulate them even more, in some instances asking the help of anesthesiologists to help sedate the patients so that they weren’t awake when it happened. WTF!!

In late breaking news, Gomerblog also reports that gastroenterologists and OB-GYNs across the country are now under investigation for similar offenses relating to patients’ rectums and vaginas. What heathens! What has become of modern medicine?!

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Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.
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