MOUNT VERNON, VA – New historical notes and rough drafts by Mason Locke Weemes, who helped write the first autobiography about George Washington, suggest that the famous cherry tree anecdote has been told incorrectly all these years.

According to the anecdote we’ve all come to know, George Washington was approximately six-years old when he chopped down his father’s beloved cherry tree with a hatchet.  When confronted by his father, young George Washington said, “I cannot tell a lie… I did cut it with my hatchet.”

Historians at the University of Virginia, however, have uncovered several drafts by Weemes in which young George Washington’s response was very different.  No less than ten copies have the famous line written as, “I cannot tell a lie… Anesthesia did cut it with their hatchets.  Anesthesia cut down the cherry tree.”

“Who the f**k is Anesthesia?” asked George Washington’s father.

“A bunch of jerks, father, that’s who,” the honest young George Washington replied.

And with that famous exchange, America was created, George Washington became the first President of the United States, and Anesthesiology was made Public Enemy #1.