Friday, April 26, 2024

Nursing

nursing student

Second Semester Nursing Student Educates Staff Nurses on How to Properly Do Their Job

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HARTFORD, CT – Second semester nursing student, Emily Rothenberg, thoroughly enjoys instructing her fellow staff nurses on how to properly do their jobs. "Oh, one of my favorite parts of nursing school involves teaching nurses...
Gergio Answering Questions

Hospital Gnome Retiring ‘Very Happy with Life’s Work’

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DALLAS, TX – Gergio, the hospital gnome assigned to Methodist Dallas Medical Center, called it quits on Friday.  Over 20 years of disconnecting patient lines, taking the last of the chuck pads, and changing orders...
medical patient on cell phone

Cell Phones Newest Weapon in Fight Against Pain

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BOSTON, MA - Cell phones are now on the list of items previously thought to have no therapeutic benefit, which are now being researched heavily as a potential miracle. Dr. Lakshmi Singh, an emergency physician...
dilaudid

Report: Nurse on 3rd Floor Excited to Give 0.1 mg of Dilaudid

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CHICAGO, IL – Local nurse Melissa Jacobson’s shift just got better when she noticed what was written for pain medication on her patient. “Oh, Boy!  0.1 mg, I can hardly wait.  Goodbye, pain,” chimed...
upset mother

Mother Furious With OB Nurse Who Mispronounced Her Baby’s Name

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PORTLAND, OR - "Simply Outrageous!"  Those were comments on a patient survey card by a mother regarding an OB nurse at Mercy Care Hospital yesterday on the 6th floor.  The nurse is being charged with mispronouncing the mother’s newborn...

Nurses Now Required to Chart When and What They Are Charting

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SILVER SPRING, MD - Tuesday, the American Nurses Association (ANA), the Society for Pediatric Nurses (SPN), and the National Association of Pediatric Nurse Practitioners (NAPNAP), released a joint memo stating that all nurses must...
patient satisfaction

Brothel Workers Consulted in Patient Satisfaction Project

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RENO, NV - In what is being called a "fresh" and "unorthodox" effort to boost patient satisfaction survey scores, Heart of The Valley Hospital has hired consultants from a local brothel. "Healthcare is constantly being...

Texas Ebola Doctor: ‘Nurse, I’ll Be Right Behind You’

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DALLAS, TX - Reports are coming in that during the care of the Liberian Ebola victim, the lead physician told his nurse: "Let's go into the room together.  I’ll be right behind you."  Dr. Wesles,...
Nurses must now wear reflective belts

Hospital Mandates Nurses Wear Yellow Safety Belts While Checking Out Pyxis Medications

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NORFOLK, VA - Hospital administrators want to crack down on medication errors and they are willing to go to any length to do it.  New studies show that many medication errors occur as nurses...
patient satisfaction survey

Patient Satisfaction Survey Study Halted, Mortality Increased 238% with Patient Satisfaction

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LOS ANGELES, CA - "We have to halt this study immediately!" was a warning issued by lead researcher, Dr. Hans Willford from UCLA.  "Long-term mortality rates are sky rocketing over our placebo groups." In an effort...