Thursday, June 10, 2021

Nursing

NCLEX test nurses

NCLEX Test Writers Admit to Picking Esoteric and Outlandish Questions

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TALLAHASSEE, FL - “Complete frustration” were frequent comments thrown around by recent test takers of the National Council Licensure Examination (NCLEX), hoping to obtain nursing licensure. "The test was complete bullcrap!" spewed Kerry Weathers.  "I took review...
Ebola quarantine chart

NY/NJ Ebola Algorithm for People with Recent Travel to Africa

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* We truly appreciate you risking your life to treat dying people... just stay away from us. * ** Free to leave includes taking mass transportation and bowling. ** *** Please do not lie where you...
hospital workers

Hospital Workers Can’t Think of Any Other Place They’d Rather Be on Thanksgiving Day

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EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital workers eagerly awoke this morning, ready and energized to take on another thrilling work day at their local hospitals.  The fact that today is Thanksgiving had no effect on most people's baseline excitement to get up and...
nursing student

Second Semester Nursing Student Educates Staff Nurses on How to Properly Do Their Job

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HARTFORD, CT – Second semester nursing student, Emily Rothenberg, thoroughly enjoys instructing her fellow staff nurses on how to properly do their jobs. "Oh, one of my favorite parts of nursing school involves teaching nurses...
Gergio Answering Questions

Hospital Gnome Retiring ‘Very Happy with Life’s Work’

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DALLAS, TX – Gergio, the hospital gnome assigned to Methodist Dallas Medical Center, called it quits on Friday.  Over 20 years of disconnecting patient lines, taking the last of the chuck pads, and changing orders...
medical patient on cell phone

Cell Phones Newest Weapon in Fight Against Pain

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BOSTON, MA - Cell phones are now on the list of items previously thought to have no therapeutic benefit, which are now being researched heavily as a potential miracle. Dr. Lakshmi Singh, an emergency physician...
dilaudid

Report: Nurse on 3rd Floor Excited to Give 0.1 mg of Dilaudid

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CHICAGO, IL – Local nurse Melissa Jacobson’s shift just got better when she noticed what was written for pain medication on her patient. “Oh, Boy!  0.1 mg, I can hardly wait.  Goodbye, pain,” chimed...
upset mother

Mother Furious With OB Nurse Who Mispronounced Her Baby’s Name

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PORTLAND, OR - "Simply Outrageous!"  Those were comments on a patient survey card by a mother regarding an OB nurse at Mercy Care Hospital yesterday on the 6th floor.  The nurse is being charged with mispronouncing the mother’s newborn...

Nurses Now Required to Chart When and What They Are Charting

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SILVER SPRING, MD - Tuesday, the American Nurses Association (ANA), the Society for Pediatric Nurses (SPN), and the National Association of Pediatric Nurse Practitioners (NAPNAP), released a joint memo stating that all nurses must...
patient satisfaction

Brothel Workers Consulted in Patient Satisfaction Project

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RENO, NV - In what is being called a "fresh" and "unorthodox" effort to boost patient satisfaction survey scores, Heart of The Valley Hospital has hired consultants from a local brothel. "Healthcare is constantly being...