Negligent Neurologist Tests Reflexes with Regular Hammer
PHILADELPHIA, PA - A malpractice suit probably isn't very far around the corner for neurologist Brady Callahan, who attempted to elicit deep-tendon reflexes from his clinic patients today using a 16 oz. steel curved...
Orthopod Has Near-Death Experience Until Internist Responds to Call for Doctor Mid-Flight
SOMEWHERE OVER THE PACIFIC OCEAN - Dr. Brock Hammersley felt nauseated and sweaty and experienced the feeling of an elephant sitting on his chest with a sense of impending doom while flying to Hawaii this...
Patient Admitted with Life-Threatening Butthurt Exacerbation
CHICAGO, IL - "Move people, this guy's crashing!" EMTs yelled, asking everyone to get out of their way as they aggressively carried 33-year-old Alexander Touchy-Feely into one of the trauma rooms so treatment could...
Anesthesia Accepts Blame for Everything Wrong in Universe, Life As We Know It
SCHAUMBURG, IL - In breaking news just in to Gomerblog today, the American Society of Anesthesiologists (ASA) has formally announced it will finally accept blame for everything that is wrong with life, the world, and the...
ER Catchphrases Guaranteed to Get Consultants to Come into the ER
LAS VEGAS, NV – Last Friday was the conclusion of the 18th annual meeting of the High-rolling Emergency Medicine Physicians (HEMP) association. Aside from several heaters at the craps table, HEMP President Dr. Cray...
Coerced by Lasso of Truth, Wonder Woman Gets Patient to Admit Pain Only 2...
THEMYSCIRA - Wonder Woman overheard a strange patient describing his pain as "20 out of 10." Seeking justice and finally safe from an ER bolus of admissions that put her Bracelets of Submission to...
Restaurant Patrons Sickened After Eavesdropping on Medical Professionals During Meal
HAMDEN, CT - It was a chaotic scene at the local 24-hour diner as a mass casualty incident (MCI) requiring the response of multiple surrounding ambulance companies was declared during the dinner-time rush earlier...
Breaking: Man Dies of Extremely Chapped Lips
NEW YORK, NY - Ryan Andreoli knew the end was coming when he licked his lips, reached into his pocket, and found that he wasn't carrying any ChapStick. "I'm a goner," he said under...
Charting is Independent Risk Factor for DVT and PE, Study Finds
ROCHESTER, MN - Recognizing it is a form of immobilization in which health care professionals are unable to move around much, a study newly published in the Mayo Clinic Proceedings found that charting and documentation in an...
Patient Demands Nurse Change The Weather
BALTIMORE, MD - Patient Amanda Stanley was having a terrible day: her appendix had ruptured, her hospital gown was unflattering, and she was assigned to a hospital room with a drab view of the...