After Being Given 200 mg of IV Lasix, Patient Urinating from Eyeballs
LOUISVILLE, KY - After receiving a whopping dose of Lasix (furosemide) IV just within the past 20 minutes, Tina O’Rourke has informed those closest to her that she is not only adequately urinating from...
Med Students Have All the Tools to Drop Out Before It’s Too Late
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Citing the current uncertain health care climate and emphasizing that the "time is now," both the American Medical Association (AMA) and American Medical Student Association (AMSA) have announced that med students have...
PM&R Doc Shocked to Find Out He’s Been on Call for 3 Years Straight
NEW YORK, NY - Dr. Jaycob Pyongyang was shaken from a deep sleep when his cell phone rang at 8 AM on a Sunday.
He was even more alarmed when he awoke enough to process the...
Gummy Metformin Hits Shelves
PITTSBURGH, PA - A gummy candy form of the popular diabetes medication metformin hit the shelves last month and the entire medical community is in awe. It is already being called the most important...
SHITSTORM Red Flag Phrases During Patient Turnover
DJIBOUTI, DJIBOUTI - The 5th annual Seminar of Hospital Internists Technologists Surgeons Traumatologists Others RNs and More (SHITSTORM) convention resulted in the drafting of a landmark document detailing the most common phrases heard in...
Tres Leches Cake Gives Lactose-Intolerant Patient Tres Diarreas
NEW YORK, NY - Telling Gomerblog that she can never ever deny her sweet tooth the chance at dessert no matter what the consequences, Linda McEwen justified why she had tres leches anyway well-knowing...
VA Patient Breaks Record, Quits Smoking 365 Times In One Year
BOSTON, MA - Joe Kamel, a 69-year-old veteran, has made his way into the Guinness Book of World Records. The Vietnam War veteran had not seen a doctor for 21 years before he presented...
‘This 1500-Calorie Diabetic Renal Diet is Delicious!’ Said No One in the History of...
COAST-TO-COAST, AMERICA - "Well, I'll be damned! This low-fat, low-sodium, low-cholesterol, low-potassium, 1500-calorie, diabetic, and renal diet is absolutely delicious!" said no hospitalized patient ever in the history of health care.
None of these patients, whether...
Randomized Controlled Trial Finds #ThoughtsAndPrayers Superior to #Thoughts or #Prayers Alone
BERKELEY, CA - A recent study of millennial patients diagnosed with chronic diseases found that social media posts with #ThoughtsAndPrayers were more effective than posts with either #Thoughts or #Prayers alone.
Researchers were given access...
Med Student Knocks Out 30 Teeth Attempting to Intubate Patient, Intern Gets the 7-10...
TUSKEGEE, AL – In an unprecedented display of disregard for dentition, MS4 Gunner McDeebag managed to knock out all but two of a patient’s teeth while attempting his first intubation during an elective anesthesia...