aorta

Skilled Phlebotomist Draws Blood from Aorta

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NASHVILLE, TN - Warned ahead of time that the patient was a notoriously difficult stick, madly-skilled phlebotomist Mattie Stevenson pulled off a neat little...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Recommends Washing Hands for 30 Minutes Before, After Each Patient Encounter

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ATLANTA, GA - Stating that health care professionals can do more to prevent the spread of germs, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention...
joint commission

Joint Commission Loses Accreditation After Failing Joint Commission Survey

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OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL – When Mark Chassin MD was named the CEO of The Joint Commision (TJC), he knew he wanted to lead by example....
chapped lips hot mess express

Patient Formally Diagnosed as Acute on Chronic Hot Mess

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SANTA FE, NM - After a battery of laboratory tests, radiographic imaging, and subspecialty consultations, a team of health care professionals has formally diagnosed...

Millions of Millennials Hospitalized in ICUs with White Claw Withdrawal

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CHICAGO, IL - A nationwide shortage of White Claw Hard Seltzer has led to an unprecedented surge in hospitalizations, with millions of millennials being...
overpenetration underpenetration

#Damnyouautocorrect: Radiologist Diagnoses ‘Cardi B Lines’ on Chest X-Ray

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HOUSTON, TX – A hilarious error has made headlines in Texas recently, when a routine chest X-ray was dictated and reported to have an...

Contact Precautions Stethoscope Will Be Replaced With Drawing of Stethoscope

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CHARLESTON, SC - In an effort to cut down on cost and auscultation, hospitals are deciding to change to a illustrated picture of a...
nurses station

Study Finds No Nurses Station Exists With 1:1 Ratio of Computers to Chairs

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BOSTON, MA - A landmark study published in the Just-Like-New England Journal of Medicine has confirmed that no nurses station in any health care...
G-tube G-spot

The Difference Between A G-Tube & The G-Spot

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GomerBlog returns to help distinguish between two similar but often confused entities. The "G" in G-tube refers to "gastric" or "gastrostomy." A G-tube is...