Hospital Fortress Built to Deter Winter Surge in Patient Volume

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - In an effort to withstand the imminent increase in patient volumes with the coming of winter, Birmingham Medical Center (BMC) administrators have unveiled a new state-of-the-art hospital fortress to withstand patient...
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Amazing Survival Story: Patient Lives by Pressing Call Light 46 Times in a One...

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AUSTIN, TX - 56-year-old patient, Andrew Whitestack, is being credited with saving his own life by pushing the nursing call light button 46 times in one hour.  Consultants and attorneys reviewing his case have...

Cupid Off Target This Valentine’s Day, Causing Massive Penetrating Traumas

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ROME, ITALY - Cupid, the chubby Roman god of love and all of its variations, has been unusually off-target this Valentine’s Day and is overwhelming emergency departments (EDs) and operating rooms (ORs) worldwide with wounds...
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OB/GYN Resident Skills Directly Linked to Number of Medical Students Made to Cry

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BOZEMAN, MT - A recent study using data gathered from women's hospitals nationwide, recently confirmed a longtime hypothesis: OB/GYN residents who are the most adept at delivering babies, with the least morbidity and mortality rates,...
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Rapid Response Seizure Code Replaced with Taylor Swift’s ‘Shake It Off’

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ATLANTA, GA - Healthcare practitioners at Non-Stop Pop Medical Center (NSPMC) began the upgrade of their outdated emergency code system by replacing their pre-existing rapid response seizure code with Taylor Swift’s chart-topping mega hit...
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Area Hospital to Implement New Health Record Using Post-it Notes

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AREA, GA - Despite a flurry of activity in healthcare systems across America to implement efficient electronic health records (EHRs) or even more efficient paper charts (PCs), one area hospital in Area, Georgia has...
botox injection

Local Mom Meets Fellow Anti-Vaxxer at Botox Clinic

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CHARLOTTE, NC - Charlotte mom Sarah Catherine Murdoch, 34, was delighted to make a new friend after striking up a conversation with another patron at an area Botox clinic last week.  She found 35-year-old Madeline...
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ED Study Reveals Spectacular Patient Selfishness

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According to a riveting new study delving into the mindset of emergency department patients, as many as 97% of patrons are almost completely unaware of any other patients in the department. Dr. Hans Albright, an...
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American Board of Internal Medicine on MOC: “Our Intern Got It Wrong”

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - On top of numerous changes, the American Board of Internal Medicine (ABIM) issued an apology to members of the internal medicine community today for its mistaken approach to the Maintenance of...
ninja in er

Coping with Admissions: The Art of Disguise

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“The 7 Stages of Grief When Faced with an Admission” struck a chord with many of our admitting medical providers out there.  It is a new year and with a new year there are...