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surgeon tired fusion

Whoops! Sleepy On-Call Resident Checked on Crashing Patient in Her Dream

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SLEEPY HOLLOW, NY—Amidst a barrage of serious allegations from hospital staff that, during a recent overnight on-call shift, she neglected a nurse’s request to check on a patient who was in distress and ultimately...
ambulance

Ambulance ride-share app launching soon!

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Exciting news abounds for those who believe that ambulances are large taxis with fancy lights and sounds. In spring 2020 the new ride-share app ‘Riding on shared cabs,’ known as ROSC for short, is...

Med Students Revolt! No One Notices

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In an unprecedented move, medical students at University of Woeisme have joined forces and staged the largest revolt ever executed on school grounds. Citing discontent with undocumented 100-hour workweeks, condescending patients, disparaging residents, being...
obstetrician

Field Guide To The Exotic Birds of Labor & Delivery

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The Double FOB: who has two women on the floor pregnant at the same time The Lurker: TOLAC with a four-page birth plan who wants to labor at home The Mystery: A patient who speaks a...
clown doctor

Hospital hires clowns to improve door to balloon times

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In a move that has rocked the healthcare industry, cutting edge health system Donta Care has enlisted the help of clowns in their emergency rooms and cardiac catheterization units to reduce door to balloon...

Valvoline Instant Oil Change to offer drive-through dialysis service

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LEXINGTON, KY – In a surprise announcement this morning, a spokesperson for Ashland, Inc – the parent company of Valvoline Instant Oil Change (VIOC) – announced that the company is poised to offer drive-through...

Extended Walk Test: Help Your Patients Discharge Themselves

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TORONTO, ONTARIO - Dr. Thurow, veteran emergency physician at Tertiary Hospital has been credited with developing a revolutionary test that is redefining what it means to practice emergency medicine: the extended walk test or...
Reuben sandwich

Bound to Happen: Speech Therapist Nearly Chokes to Death on Lunch

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CHATTANOOGA, TN - Shortly after completing a swallow evaluation on his last patient of the morning, a hungry speech therapist Pete Echols had an inadvertant choking episode while trying to inhale his oversized Reuben...
nasal cannula

Patient Placed on 4,000 Liters by Nasal Cannula

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SPOKANE, WA - Sometimes you have to think outside the box. That's exactly what a rapid response team did this morning: In a last ditch effort to prevent intubation, the team has cranked...

Family Practice Office Follows Airlines and Overbooks Clinic on Purpose

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After a recent travel mishap during one of his 8 weeks paid vacation, Primary Care Administrator Dewey Kaer was struck with a flash of inspiration. “While I was sitting in the airport complaining to my...