Baby Finds His Umbilical Cord, Passes Out
UTERUS - Local uterine baby, Baby Dennis, told reporters yesterday he just found a long umbilical cord floating around his head.
"This long cord is just...
Standardized Patient Suing Medical School After No One Detected Prostate Cancer
TAMPA BAY, FL - 56-year-old Michael Finnerly has been volunteering his services to the local medical school's standardized patient program for several years. Last week he was...
Match Applicants Shocked to Find Med School Personal Statement Was Legally Binding
In a stunning reversal of fortune, fourth-year medical students around the country are reacting to the shocking news that their medical school admission essays...
PICU Nurse Enjoys Changing Patient Parameters and Drips Right Before Interns Present Patients on...
SEATTLE, WA - In an exclusive interview with Nursing magazine, Martha Stevens, a prominent pediatric intensive care unit (PICU) nurse at Children’s Hospital admitted that...
Medical Students Horrified to Learn That All Patients Die, Eventually
PHARMA, OH - A lone tear splashed to the floor, followed by a steady trickle as the residents tried to console the sobbing medical students. ...
New CPR Guidelines Recommend Switching Out Providers Every 5 Cycles to Update Facebook Status
ST. LOUIS, MO – The American Heart Association (AHA) conducted further research and has published the new 2014 recommendations for cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR). Basic Life...
Surgeon Furious That X-Ray Tech Not Available 2.3 Seconds After Demanding X-Ray in OR
HOUSTON, TX – Dr. Henry Witherspoon, a prominent general surgeon in the Houston area, began foaming at the mouth in anger, after an X-ray machine was...
Report: Nurse on 3rd Floor Excited to Give 0.1 mg of Dilaudid
CHICAGO, IL – Local nurse Melissa Jacobson’s shift just got better when she noticed what was written for pain medication on her patient. “Oh,...
Local Man with Chest Pain Takes Care of Stuff First
CLEVELAND, OH – Don Hetfield came into St. Joe’s emergency room on Friday with chest pain, arm pain, and “I just can’t stop sweating.” When...
New Female Libido Pill to Hit Shelves
ATLANTA, GA - A new female libido pill is expected to hit shelves this week called Pamper. The pill is designed to put that flame...