Patient with Inhuman Perseverance and Resolve Makes It Outside to Smoke with 50 Pounds...
COLUMBUS, OH - Last week a patient at University Hospital performed a feat so incredible, so difficult, that she has earned the distinction of being the world's most stubborn smoker. Mrs. Carol Hansel of...
Psalm of Zoll
All hail the mighty Zoll, savior of the ICU
The one who brings back life from the brink of death
He’ll send you a jolt to find renewed vigor
He’ll lead you right when your rhythm is...
Mysterious Squiggly Line on Monitor Does Not Actually Correlate with Patient’s Biophysical Data
Recent events in the CICU at riverside Methodist left staff nurse Andy Long perplexed about the respiratory lead from the patient mr Rawlings in room 5132. Long noted that it never seemed to correlate...
Reminder: Vasopressin First-Line for Treatment of Sticker Shock
MOUNT PROSPECT, IL - With holiday shopping in full swing, the Society of Critical Care Medicine (SCCM) is reminding health care professionals that vasopressin is first line for the treatment of patients hospitalized in...
No Neurology Consult: MICU Intern Startles All
PHILADELPHIA, PA - During their daily rounds on all the patients with altered mental status in the medical intensive care unit (MICU), the neurology consult team noticed that they were not consulted on a...
Millennial Woman Admitted to Millennial ICU Because She “Can’t Even”
TAMPA, FL - Missy Howell, a 25-year-old from the suburbs was recently rushed to St. Felicia Medical Center by friends after an acute episode of being unable "to even." Friends recounted the episode in which...
Patient Survives & Beats Level I Trauma Center, Moves On to Level II
ATLANTA, GA - It has been a challenging year for 27-year-old Michael Snead, who broke his right femur in a motorcycle accident 6 months ago. But thanks to his orthopedic trauma team at Grady...
Attending Answers Telephone at Nurse’s Station, Immediately Regrets Decision
IOWA CITY, IA - Havoc struck the medical ICU this morning when 49 year old intensivist Oliver Reynolds inexplicably decided to answer a telephone at the nurses station, immediately regretting his decision. "The caller...
Floyd Mayweather Intubated After Aspirating $300 Million in Revenue
LAS VEGAS, NV - Less than 24 hours after extending his record to an incredible 50-0 after defeating MMA fighter Conor McGregor, Floyd "Money" Mayweather was hospitalized for shortness of breath and hypoxemia, and...
Tragedy as Strong Gust of Wind Kills Hundreds of Umbrellas
CHICAGO, IL - Tragedy struck the Illinois metropolis today as a light drizzle suddenly gave way to a surprisingly strong fifteen-second gust of wind off of Lake Michigan, killing 74 unsuspecting umbrellas and injuring several...
