Wednesday, April 24, 2024

Critical Care

epipen price increase

EpiPen Users Develop Shock Over EpiPen Prices: Treatment, More EpiPens

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WASHINGTON, DC - Numerous cases of EpiPen Price Gouging Shock (EPGS) are sweeping the nation after EpiPen prices continue to be hiked up by pharmaceutical company Mylan.  Prices for this life saving delivery device...
amoeba

Single-Celled Organism Caught Masquerading as VA ICU Nurse

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DAVENPORT, IA – A recent press release from the local VA hospital announced that a single celled organism had disguised itself as an ICU nurse for the past 30 years. Employees were reportedly shocked...
atls by medical specialty

Do You Know Your ABCs by Subspecialty?

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CHICAGO, IL – The American College of Surgeons (ACS) released new subspecialty-focused primary survey guidelines for Advanced Trauma Life Support (ATLS) this week after a panel review at the recent national meeting. “With no major...
endless loop

Pathology and Radiology Reports Recommend Correlation with Each Other, Endless Loop Ensues

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BOSTON, MA – The ICU team of a local area hospital had struggled for days with an increasingly slow EMR for one particular patient. “At first I thought it was just temporary, but it just...
skinny jeans sepsis

Skinny Jeans Increase Venous Return in Sepsis

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CINCINNATI, OH - A recent study out of Northside, Cincinnati claims all-cause mortality benefit in sepsis with addition of skinny jeans to early goal directed therapy.  It has long been known that early aggressive...

Patient Awakens from Coma, Hears About Trump, Requests Withdrawal of Care

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BOCA RATON, FL - Area patient Murray Bernstein miraculously awoke from a coma after several years, only to realize that Donald Trump was the President of the United States; the shocked patient immediately requested withdrawal...

This Physician Won the KevinMD Big Burnout Sweepstakes. Here’s Why.

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TWITTER – The social media giant was abuzz today when news broke that John Roberts, a primary care physician from Sioux Falls, SD, had won the much anticipated “KevinMD Big Burnout Sweepstakes.” Dr. Roberts...
Snorlax, Pokémon

Pokémon Go Update: Snorlax Found Down, Intubated

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ATLANTA, GA - Anesthesiologist and Pokémon Go addict Tobey Matthews was using augmented reality to explore life on the other side of the anesthesiology drape when he spotted Snorlax in an adjacent operating room....

Radiologist Misses Right Lower Lobe Pokémon on Chest X-Ray

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IOWA CITY, IA – Reports from the radiology reading room at Mercy Hospital indicate that veteran radiologist, John Hoskins, completely missed a Pokémon in the right lower lobe on a routine chest X-ray earlier this...

Dr. Clinton Gets Away with Wearing Pantsuit in OR

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - A shocking story coming from Bethesda Medical Center, where Hillary Clinton has been wearing a pantsuit in the operating room.  She refuses to wear scrubs, a scrub cap, surgical mask mask, or...