Whole Foods to Offer Free Gluten Sensitivity Tests in Aisles
HARTFORD, CT - In an attempt to further push gluten-free foods into the public eye, Whole Foods has added point of care celiac sprue testing adjacent to the gluten free aisle. This low-sensitivity test...
Poor Colonoscopy Bowel Prep Blamed on Doctor
BOUTTE, LA - Bobby Boudreaux's colonoscopy had to be aborted this morning due to a poor bowel prep, making it impossible to safely perform the procedure according to his gastroenterologist, Dr. Kay Huai.
"I knew...
Formerly Gluten-Sensitive Patient Now Claims Evidence Insensitivity
NEW YORK, NY – Harold Nositall, 42, claims to possess a new form of disease that physicians are scrambling to explain. The New York native, known to all his friends to have gluten sensitivity, was...
How to Become Gluten Intolerant
Ever wonder how you can become gluten intolerant even if you don't actually have gluten intolerance or celiac disease? We have found a video that describes how you can become gluten intolerant with some...
After Counseling Patient on Evils of Alcohol Abuse, Medical Team Leaves Work & Gets...
ATLANTA, GA - A multidisciplinary inpatient team at Georgia Medical Center (GMC) spent thirty minutes at bedside warning their patient Doug Johansen of the many evils associated with alcohol abuse: mood disorders, gastritis and...
Nutritionist Confronts Arch Nemesis, The Malnutritionist
ATLANTA, GA - Things are tense this morning at Tostitos Medical Center (TMC) as clinical nutritionist and protagonist Alice Dash just ran into her evil and noncompliant arch nemesis, Amy Glutton, also known as...
Man On Gluten-Free Diet Has No Idea What Gluten Actually Is
Chad Bennington, a 32-year-old otherwise healthy male without celiac disease, saw a new phrase on his favorite cereal box at his local grocery store. In bold white letters it read “GLUTEN FREE” with a...
Fecal Transplant for C. diff Safe, Effective, Gross
BOSTON, MA - In the latest issue of the New England Journal of Medicine, a multicenter randomized controlled trial of 256 patients at 18 centers across the United States and Europe has revealed that...
Local Hospital Adds Overpriced Coffee to Patient Bowel Regimen Protocol with Fantastic Results
SEATTLE, WA - Seattle Memorial Hospital has dramatically reduced their rates of post-operative ileus and opioid-induced constipation by requiring that all patient bowel regimens include a daily tall Sixbucks coffee, dosed either PO or...
Hospital Cafeteria Debuts New Tasting Menu Format
NAPA, CA - A hospital cafeteria in Napa simply called The Cafeteria has debuted a new three-hour $300 tasting menu format to supplant the more traditional, quick, self-serve approach of grabbing food and placing...