Thursday, July 2, 2020

Family Cancels Vacation after EpiPen Use

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INDIANAPOLIS, IN - Bad news from the Carson family house yesterday, Chris and Jenny had to tell their kids that their recent use of an EpiPen, for an allergic reaction, forced them to cancel...
allergies

Today’s Allerlogical Forecast

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Aries: Have you been thinking about peanuts, Aries?  If so, there are likely peanuts in your future.  But you won't even touch them, because you ate a cashew one time and your lips felt...
Shkreli & Bresch

Breaking: Martin Shkreli & Heather Bresch Are A**holes

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NEW YORK, NY - In a candid interview on CBS News yesterday, Martin Shkreli admitted that "Yes, Heather Bresch and I are a**holes."  Mylan CEO Heather Bresch has been on the hot seat recently for...

This Store Provides Real Allergies to Get the Medication you Want

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BEVERLY HILLS, CA — Natalie Speede-Faster really needed to get back on Adderall.  Her stupid internist was “concerned” because Natalie always wanted a higher strength of that medication.  And he didn’t like that Natalie...

Physician Recruitment Ad Statements and What They Really Mean

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Ad text Actual meaning Established medical center is a state of the art, modern, newly renovated hospital   The MRI works 12 hours out of the week, and the cost of that new fountain in the lobby will...

Whole Foods to Offer Free Gluten Sensitivity Tests in Aisles

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HARTFORD, CT - In an attempt to further push gluten-free foods into the public eye, Whole Foods has added point of care celiac sprue testing adjacent to the gluten free aisle. This low-sensitivity test...
bee sting allergy

Bee Sting Therapy Administered Despite Bee Sting Allergy Clearly Documented by Nursing

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AUSTIN, TX - In what has been called a severe and disturbing patient safety lapse at Fort Collins General Hospital, a local man was recently prescribed bee sting therapy despite a clearly documented bee...
confused gluten

Formerly Gluten-Sensitive Patient Now Claims Evidence Insensitivity

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NEW YORK, NY – Harold Nositall, 42, claims to possess a new form of disease that physicians are scrambling to explain.  The New York native, known to all his friends to have gluten sensitivity, was...
gluten free meme

How to Become Gluten Intolerant

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Ever wonder how you can become gluten intolerant even if you don't actually have gluten intolerance or celiac disease?  We have found a video that describes how you can become gluten intolerant with some...
lightsaber

Vader Pharmaceuticals Introduces New EpiLightsaber for Anaphylaxis

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DEATH STAR II - In response to the growing prevalence of food allergies among employees of the evil Galactic Empire, Vader Pharmaceuticals have announced the development of an epinephrine autoinjector called an EpiLightsaber to...
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