God Makes Patient NPO After Midnight for Miracle in the Morning
HEAVENS ABOVE - According to Gomerblog cherubs close to the All Powerful, God has informed nursing staff at Garden of Eden Medical Center to make patient Allyson Gerber NPO after midnight in preparation for a...
Study: Average Coffee Sip-to-Sh*t Time is 29 Seconds
AUSTIN, TX - It is well-known that coffee stimulates the morning number twos in about 30% of people who drink the life-sustaining nectar. A new study in the New England Journal of Defecation has...
New Movantik (The Poop Medication) Commercial – Parody
Naloxegol or Movantik was made famous during the Super Bowel when we were all graced with a constipation ad to help fight the opioid crisis. Here was the original unedited ad:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNQ3sxvslhQ
Fecal Transplant Donations Skyrocket Thanks to Terrified Day 1 Interns
COLUMBUS, OH - One local hospital’s fecal transplant donation bank is filled to the brim thanks to the groundswell of newly-minted interns on their first rotation. “We were in dire straights at the end of...
Doctor Curbsides Doctor at Curbside
ATLANTA, GA - Gomerblog is on scene to report that Dr. Andrea Pascal of Internal Medicine has just curbsided Dr. Andy Rapp of Infectious Diseases at curbside, a partially-painted yellow one. The encounter is taking place near...
Is 2-Ply 2-Much to Ask For?!
NORFOLK, VA - Outrage has erupted from the Colorectal Department of Medi-Ocre Hospital over substandard staff toilet rolls. Professor Daniel Rears has spearheaded this campaign to upgrade the staff's toilet paper (TP).
"Look, it's pretty simple...
GI Consultant Thrilled To Hear About Guaiac Positive Formed Stool At 3 AM
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Second-year gastroenterology fellow Dr. I. Scopalot was flabbergasted to hear about an unusual case of guaiac-positive stool found in the emergency department at 3 AM on a Saturday morning.
"You know, I was...
Sword Swallower Wondering Why He Has Reflux All of a Sudden
TAMPA, FL - With a quizzical look on his face and a first held to his epigastrium, circus performer and sword swallower, Matthew the Magnificent, told Gomerblog that he is stymied because he can't...
Pacific Coast Highway Closed After Mother Nature Has Large Bowel Movement
BIG SUR, CA - A massive landslide that buried a quarter mile of California's scenic Pacific Coast Highway last week has been attributed to a large bowel movement on behalf of Mother Nature.
"We initially thought...
I-85 in Atlanta is Finally Therapeutic, Heparin Bridge D/C’d
ATLANTA, GA - Gomerblog is excited to report that I-85 in Atlanta, which collapsed 6 weeks ago for reasons that can likely be blamed on Anesthesia, finally has a therapeutic INR of 2.45, and...