CDC Warning: Dangerous “Dry Humping” Bug Found in Lower U.S.
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) has identified a new insect vector that is rampantly spreading disease in the southern portions...
Study Finds Majority of Americans Would Rather Die of E. coli Than Not Eat...
DENVER, CO – According to a study released last Saturday by University of Colorado sociologist Dr. Prestin Wheats, the majority of Americans are unfazed...
Hollywood Good Guy Matt Damon Opens Up About EBV Positivity
NEW YORK, NY - Matt Damon shocked medically illiterate TV viewers on Friday morning’s Today Show when he confirmed that he is positive for...
Surgeon General Admits: Condoms ‘Kinda Suck’
WASHINGTON, DC - During a press conference yesterday, Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy admitted that, although very important, condoms do in fact “kinda suck.”
The...
Chipotle States Burritos Made with Responsibly Raised E. Coli
SEATTLE, WA - After shutting down 43 locations in the states of Washington and Oregon due to dozens of people being hospitalized for infections by...
West Nile Virus Murdered By East Nile Virus In Latest Ugly Episode Of Viral...
LAS VEGAS -- The Las Vegas Police Department has confirmed the shocking news that the West Nile Virus (WNV) has been brutally shot to...
Recipe: GomerBlog’s Chicken Noodle Soup with Vancomycin & Zosyn
Ever wonder why chicken noodle soup is good for the soul? It’s because your soul is severely infected and needs to be treated with...
Chief Resident Regrets Decision to Serve Noodles During Lunchtime PowerPoint on Roundworms
ATLANTA, GA - “I have never seen so many people vomit their brains out at once,” said disappointed chief resident Frank Napoli as he...
Local Restaurant with Serious Health Violations, Owner Cites Pandering to Scrub-Wearing Customers as Cause
While there are some toolbags that still think it is cool to wear scrubs in public, one restaurant owner claims it may cause his...
Tearful Reunion Between Fecal Transplant Donor & Recipient Captured in Video
BOCA RATON, FL - After years searching for the kind colon which gave her bowels a new lease on life, fecal transplant recipient Faye...