Saturday, July 11, 2020

Infectious Disease

CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Reminder: ‘Sleep Tight and Definitely Do Not Let the Bed Bugs Bite’

ATLANTA, GA - Tonight, shortly after reading the public a bedtime story, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) wanted to say "Good night!" and issue a reminder to all Americans to "sleep tight,...
Batman Histoplasmosis

Inevitable Really: Batman Diagnosed with Histoplasmosis

GOTHAM CITY - Saying that it is pretty remarkable that he even went this long without catching it, doctors at Gotham City Medical Center (GCMC) have diagnosed DC superhero Batman with acute pulmonary histoplasmosis. ...

Impassable EMR Alert Demands Flu Shot For Deceased Patient

A best practice alert, recently programmed by a highly competent collaboration between non-clinical quality and IT personnel, popped up today when Beth, RN was trying to write a quick note about post-mortem care on...

Medical Student Mob Tears Down Statue of Andrew Wakefield

CLEVELAND, OH - An angry mob of medical students tore down a statue of Andrew Wakefield in front of the Cleveland Clinic Saturday.  This anti-vax champion was best known for a falsified study linking...

Multidrug Resistant Superbug Susceptible Only to Brussel Sprouts

KANSAS CITY, KS - Dr. Carlos Johnson was anxiously awaiting antibiotic susceptibility testing on his 70-year-old ICU patient with pneumonia and septic shock.  The results shocked him. The MRSA superbug which previously grew from...

Gomerblog Inspires Emergency Medicine Residents to Solve COVID-19 Mask Shortage Crisis

PROVIDENCE, RI - Due to mask shortages reported across the country, hospital staff at prominent New England hospitals have been asked to conserve normally disposable masks by wearing them for two days. Fortunately, emergency...

COVID-19 Study: Bandanas Superior to N95s, Surgical Masks for PPE

BOSTON, MA - Good news, healthcare workers: A study published in the New England Journal of PPE has found that bandanas are superior to both N95 respirators and surgical masks as personal...

Infectious Disease consulted for FUO, Prescribes More Cowbell

COLUMBUS, OH – A local case has gained national attention as ground zero in the initiative for antibiotic stewardship. A 27-year-old previously healthy man was admitted to the general hospitalist service at County Hospital...

COVID-19: ACGME Redeploys Interns to Check on Healthcare Workers’ Parents

CHICAGO, IL - The Accreditation Council for Graduate Medical Education (ACGME) announced that interns will no longer see patients not only to preserve personal protective equipment (PPE) but also so they can...

FDA Rejects Rapid COVID-19 Test in Favor of Slow-as-Balls One

WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has rejected the first rapid COVID-19 test that could produce results with an hour in favor of a slow-as-balls COVID-19 test that might...