Hospital hires clowns to improve door to balloon times
In a move that has rocked the healthcare industry, cutting edge health system Donta Care has enlisted the help of clowns in their emergency rooms and cardiac catheterization units to reduce door to balloon...
Valvoline Instant Oil Change to offer drive-through dialysis service
LEXINGTON, KY – In a surprise announcement this morning, a spokesperson for Ashland, Inc – the parent company of Valvoline Instant Oil Change (VIOC) – announced that the company is poised to offer drive-through...
Patient Placed on 4,000 Liters by Nasal Cannula
SPOKANE, WA - Sometimes you have to think outside the box. That's exactly what a rapid response team did this morning: In a last ditch effort to prevent intubation, the team has cranked...
Physician Strike Enters 3rd Week After Custodial Staff Purchase Embroidered Jackets
Ann Arbor, MI – Physicians throughout Michigan Medicine have continued into the third week of a bitter and protracted strike with no end in sight.
Following a contentious leak from the Environmental Services department, a...
Pain Specialist Uses Ibuprofen Bottle as Substitute for Call System
Dr. Habad Malik sent shock waves through the local medical community when he left town for a week, entrusting his call system to a generic bottle of ibuprofen left outside of his office with...
CDC Reporting New Condition Affecting Residency Applicants: Email Refresh Syndrome (ERS)
ATLANTA, GA - Each fall, thousands of fourth-year medical students submit residency applications and eagerly wait for interview invitations. This has traditionally been an exciting time for students, but after a recent CDC study...
CDC announces that 100% of the world’s population will be over 65 by 2050.
Yesterday in a stunning revelation, the CDC released a report which predicts that by the year 2050 the entire global population will be over the age of 65.
“We were flabbergasted and checked our calculations...
IT Department to design new, creative ways to lock you out of your EMR...
Regional Samaritan Hospital; Kearney NE. After a long meeting of the IT department at RSH, Jay Koh, VP of Information Technology announced that new and creative ways of locking practitioners out of their EMR...
Breaking: Penlights Extinct
CHICAGO, IL - The American Association of Physical Exam Tools & Instruments (AAPETI) has announced that penlights are officially extinct, Gomerblog reports.
"It is with both sadness and relief that we declare penlights dead and...
New Helmet for Spleen Allows Mononucleosis Patients to Play Contact Sports
EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ—Athletes afflicted with infectious mononucleosis, a disease caused by the Epstein-Barr virus and sometimes marked by splenomegaly, will soon be able to participate in contact sports throughout the course of their illness....