Internal Medicine

Colon Loses It, Screams “OK, EVERYBODY OUT!”

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BELLY, HUMAN - Bowel uncharacteristically threw everyone out yesterday after a Mexican named Burrito arrived, according to Stomach.  "I've always thought Colon was an open-minded guy," said Stomach.  Stomach invited Burrito in and according...
diabetes

Paula Deen’s Diabetes Leaves Her Amid Recent Controversy

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SAVANNAH, GA – Food Network star Paula Deen’s diabetes made a stunning announcement yesterday: “I will be leaving Paula indefinitely.  I do not want to be associated with someone that uses racial slurs on...
red blood cells

Hematologists Award Lance Armstrong Gold Medal de Excellence

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AUSTIN, TX - On the eve of the historic 100th running of the Tour de France in Corsica, Lance Armstrong is making history again.  The American Society of Hematology (ASH) has released a statement...
hand washing

Researchers: If Washing Hands Won’t Remove All Germs, Blowing Them Off at High Speeds...

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CAMBRIDGE, MA – Researchers from Harvard University have discovered the reason for high-cost hand dryers in bathrooms all over the United States.  In public restrooms across America hand dryers blow air, slightly warmer than...
joint commission

Joint Commission is Coming: Hospital to Change Everything for Three Days Then Revert to...

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EVERY HOSPITAL, USA - Hospital administrators have finally cracked the secret to passing the highly-dreaded Joint Commission inspections.  For decades, the Joint Commission (JC) or previously called JACHO, but don't EVER call them that now...

Patient Laudy Daughty Seen Partying with Snoop Dogg, Not Causing Any Trouble and Not...

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LOS ANGELES, CA – Dr. Kimbell said, “I’m not concerned because when he rocks the mic he rocks the mic right.”  Mr. Daughty’s endocrinologist Dr. Summers said, “He’s just happy to see all his...

Study Shows More Studies Would Be Needed to Study Future Results

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BETHESDA, MD – A recent article published in the New England Journal of Medicine discovered that more studies would be needed to study future results.  "This is truly remarkable," said medical expert Dr. Tom Hutch....

Thawed Medieval Surgeon Still Prescribing Too Much Bloodletting Despite All the Evidence

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MUNICH, GERMANY - Lord Lockwell was recently discovered in the Bavarian Alps near the German-Switzerland border in a small town called Konstanz.  Due to great scientific advances in thawing, cloning, and re-animation of woolly...

Old Man Tired of Giving Medical History

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GOSHEN, MI - A local man with multiple medical problems decided to tape record his medical history to playback instead of repeating himself at every doctor's visit.  Yes, GomerBlog was just as surprised as...

Errant Drug Rep Brings Fava Bean Salad to G6PD Conference

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SAN DIEGO, CA - The 23rd annual G6PD-Deficiency Awareness Conference kicked off yesterday at the conference center downtown.  Over 10,000 people from across the world afflicted with the disease were in attendance for the event. Chaos...