Internal Medicine

head lice

Recurrent Lice Outbreaks Have ID Specialists Scratching Their Heads

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“This has to be the worst year we’ve ever seen for headlice,” Dr. Raj Sasikumar said, digging the nails of his left hand into...
cardiology research

Journal of Obvious Medical Advancements (JOMA) Maintains Impact Factor of Zero

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The American Medical Association, publisher of the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) proudly celebrated the three year of also publishing the...

Child Aspires to Be Burnt-Out Physician When She Grows Up

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CHICAGO, IL -- Peggy Cheng had just graduated from first grade this summer when she told her parents that when she grows up she...

New Hospital Beds Harder to Figure Out Than Acid-Base

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NASHVILLE, TN - Medical staff at Nashville Memorial Hospital are completely baffled by a new fleet of hospital beds on Unit 55-G, saying that...

Spa Offers ‘Ultimate Relaxation’ With 55-Minute Carotid Sinus Massage

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SANTA FE, MN - For guests who want to experience the ultimate in relaxation, the spa at the Inn of the Four Extremities is...
abdomen

NIH Close to Uncovering Elusive Fifth Abdominal Quadrant

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BETHESDA, MD - Sensing a breakthrough is imminent, scientists at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) have publicly announced they are indeed very close...

IDSA Recommends Washing Clothes Before, After Every Patient Encounter

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ARLINGTON, VA - In an aggressive effort to help control the spread of microorganisms, the Infectious Diseases Society of America (IDSA) strongly recommends health...
PM&R doctor

Nephrologist Sets Patients’ Dry Weight Goal at 0 Kg

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HOUSTON, TX - Adding to his reputation of aggressively managing volume status, nephrologist Albert Kalosis has announced that his new goal dry weight for...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Recommends Washing Hands for 30 Minutes Before, After Each Patient Encounter

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ATLANTA, GA - Stating that health care professionals can do more to prevent the spread of germs, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention...
physician on toilet paper coffee sit-to-sh*t 29 seconds

Review: Lesser-Known Types of Enemas

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Constipation is prevalent in hospitalized patients. Systematic reviews have shown that 99.7% of patients are constipated from prolonged bedrest or medication side effects,...