Breaking: Consultant Called for Non-Urgent Consult at Reasonable Hour
NASHVILLE, TN - First-year infectious diseases fellow Lena Burke burst into tears of joy when in the rarest of occurrences - certainly the first time it happened for her since starting on July 1st...
Breaking: Code Team Resuscitates Flatlining WiFi Signal on Delta Flight
DELTA 1554 - Progressively becoming more altered and unresponsive as the flight from Los Angeles to Atlanta climbed towards cruising altitude, the Atlanta-based Delta crew didn’t simply ask if there was a doctor on...
Hospitalists Run for Cover as Nurses Heave Barrage of Pages Near Shift Change
LOS ANGELES, CA - Hospitalists know the drill all too well: It doesn’t matter if you haven’t been paged all day, expect hellfire starting at 5:30 PM and expect it to last until 7...
The FDA, or Federal Dating Authority, Has Established a New System for Online Dating
Testing of potential suitors is an exhausting, expensive and occasionally toxic procedure. The FDA, or Federal Dating Authority, has established a new system for online dating for healthcare professionals in order to streamline the...
Breaking: Colonized Computer Keyboard Finally Becomes Septic
LOS ANGELES, CA - Gomerblog has learned that a computer keyboard colonized with a whole host of microorganisms at the nurses station on Unit 4A of Los Angeles Medical Center (LAMC) has become septic,...
Medical Mystery Baffles Physicians
An unsolved medical mystery is challenging and frustrating some of the brightest medical minds at Bergendorst Medical Center in Greenville, Iowa. Morbidly obese 58 year old Stanley Green suffers from uncontrolled diabetes, severe emphysema,...
COWS (Computers on Wheels) Banned from Local Hospital
Recent outrage at a teaching hospital in Oklahoma City has resulted in the removal of the frequently used “computers on wheels” from the wards. These computers, commonly referred to as “COWS” by medical personnel,...
Dilaudid & Morphine Shortage Prompts Pharmacy to Switch to Heroin PCA Pumps
SMITHVILLE, AR - The ongoing rise in demand for opiate medications, combined with limited supply of intravenous narcotics has left physicians, nurses, and pharmacists scrambling to address patients’ pain control at many institutions throughout...
Patient Honest About How Much He Drinks
24-year-old Jimmy Cliff came to University Hospital today for his elective hernia repair, and during the pre-operative interview with the anesthesiologist, he did something that previously was only described in medical textbooks: he was...
Inpatient Hospital Cruise Option Approved by CMS
The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) has announced that it will begin covering inpatient cruises on approved vessels in a continuing effort to decrease hospital acquired infection (HAI) rates and increase patient...