Getting Things Done: Cough Quite Productive Today
HUNTSVILLE, AL - Checking off its To Do list like it's nobody else's business, patient Reynold Baker's cough is happy to report that it is being incredibly productive today.
"Man, you're not going to believe...
Doc Takes Chance on Ill-Fitting Small N95 Mask Since Finding Regular One Requires Effort
BIRMINGHAM, AL - After briefly weighing the risks and benefits of using an ill-fitting small N95 mask that's already there versus trying to search the ward for the right-sized regular one before entering into...
Breaking: AMA President Leaves Presidency AMA
CHICAGO, IL - Despite the efforts of board members and peers to talk him into staying, current President of the American Medical Association (AMA), Dr. David O. Barbe, has officially signed out of his...
A Practical Guide to Intravenous Line Insertion for Interns by a Cynical Resident Post...
1. Decide if you really need the line. You can use this simple test. Approach your senior doctor and say, “The patient has really tough veins… I don't know if I can do it.”...
AMA Adds Complaining As An Official Vital Sign
After extensive deliberation, the American Medical Association has decided to make complaining a vital sign.
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, complaining “is to say or write that you are unhappy, sick, uncomfortable, etc., or that...
Hospice Agencies Pioneering a Different Approach to the Decidedly Unglamorous Process of Dying
“Our clients customize their own End of Living Plans down to the finest details,” mused company spokesperson Delilah Banerjee. “Their final months, days, and even minutes are occasions to express themselves. You only die...
United Airlines Replaces Oxygen Masks with Endotracheal Tubes
CHICAGO, IL - No stranger to controversy, United Airlines has thrown itself into the headlines once again by announcing that it will be replacing oxygen masks in the panels above passengers' seats with endotracheal...
Report: Spike in 0-Lead ECGs the Result of Budget Cutbacks
BOSTON, MA - Hospital administrators are under increased pressure to make ends meet, and the latest series of budget cutbacks at Massachusetts Lieutenant General Hospital (MLGH) has explained a recent spike in the number...
RT Delivers 5 Peeps via ET Tube in Easter Day Tragedy at St. Luke’s
Distracted by his excitement for the Easter holiday, Jim Carina, Respiratory Therapist at St. Luke’s Medical Center, gave 5 Peeps via ET tube to Robert Harris, an unfortunate 74-year-old patient spending the holiday in...
Now That’s Generosity: Man Donates All 10 Pints of His Blood
MIAMI, FL - We could all learn a thing or two about generosity from Larry Jacobs. Today, in the true spirit of kindness, Jacobs donated not one, not two, not three, not four, not five,...