Internal Medicine

Restaurant Patrons Sickened After Eavesdropping on Medical Professionals During Meal

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HAMDEN, CT - It was a chaotic scene at the local 24-hour diner as a mass casualty incident (MCI) requiring the response of multiple surrounding ambulance companies was declared during the dinner-time rush earlier...
colonoscopy

Nitwit GI Doc Leaves Scope in Patient’s Colon Again

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - "Gosh darn it!" exasperated nitwit gastroenterologist Steven Moravsky uttered in a state of shock earlier today when endoscopy suite staff called him at home to remind him the scope was...
doctor notes DVT PE

Charting is Independent Risk Factor for DVT and PE, Study Finds

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ROCHESTER, MN - Recognizing it is a form of immobilization in which health care professionals are unable to move around much, a study newly published in the Mayo Clinic Proceedings found that charting and documentation in an...
urine urinating eyeballs

After Being Given 200 mg of IV Lasix, Patient Urinating from Eyeballs

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LOUISVILLE, KY - After receiving a whopping dose of Lasix (furosemide) IV just within the past 20 minutes, Tina O’Rourke has informed those closest to her that she is not only adequately urinating from...

Hospitals Using Simulation to Prepare for North Korea Nuke Attack

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Hospitals across the nation are preparing for possible nuclear warfare with North Korea.  In order for physicians and trainees to be ready for such a catastrophic event, we caught up with the University of...
gummy bears

Gummy Metformin Hits Shelves

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PITTSBURGH, PA - A gummy candy form of the popular diabetes medication metformin hit the shelves last month and the entire medical community is in awe.  It is already being called the most important...

SHITSTORM Red Flag Phrases During Patient Turnover

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DJIBOUTI, DJIBOUTI - The 5th annual Seminar of Hospital Internists Technologists Surgeons Traumatologists Others RNs and More (SHITSTORM) convention resulted in the drafting of a landmark document detailing the most common phrases heard in...
Appointment shot clock

Clinic Installs Shot Clock Buzzer To Mark End Of Appointment Slot

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BOCA RATON, FL - In a groundbreaking move which could foster improved patient flow across the country, Madre De Díos Clinic spokeswoman Chlöe Less announced that a shot clock buzzer was installed each patient...
Tres Leches

Tres Leches Cake Gives Lactose-Intolerant Patient Tres Diarreas

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NEW YORK, NY - Telling Gomerblog that she can never ever deny her sweet tooth the chance at dessert no matter what the consequences, Linda McEwen justified why she had tres leches anyway well-knowing...
benadryl

So Your Patient Is Allergic to Benadryl? Diphenhydramine Might Be the Answer

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One might think it counter intuitive to re-administer a known allergen to a patient, especially if they are in the throws of an allergic reaction to that very substance.  However, recent double blind placebo...