Internal Medicine

patient

Patient Discharged to Rehab to Acquire UTI

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AUGUSTA, GA - Patient Larry Michelson is thrilled he will be going to subacute rehab today where, if everything goes according to plan, he...
divine intervention NPO after midnight miracle insurance authorization

God Makes Patient NPO After Midnight for Miracle in the Morning

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HEAVENS ABOVE - According to Gomerblog cherubs close to the All Powerful, God has informed nursing staff at Garden of Eden Medical Center to make...

Canadian Provinces Presenting to the Emergency Room

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British Columbia: 43-year-old female worried she accidentally overdosed on Gingko baba when she took two times the amount on her way to yoga. Feeling...
medical doctor

Doctor Absolutely Crushes the Lung Exam This Morning

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AUSTIN, TX - The patient's lungs never stood a chance.  After some idle chit-chat about symptoms of dyspnea and wheeze, hospitalist Miguel Ruiz proceeded...
turkey sandwich haldol diets

Know Your Hospital Diets

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It can be confusing telling apart all those different hospital diets, so here's a primer to break down some of the most common ones. Clear...

Mooch: G*ddamn Goals of Care Talk Went F**king Fabulous

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Former White House communications director Anthony "The Mooch" Scaramucci has told Gomerblog that an impromptu family meeting and "g*ddamn" goals of...
slaps monitor v-fib

Medicine Resident Slaps Monitor Hoping V-Fib is Just Artifact

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ATLANTA, GA - Implementing an often overlooked early step in the ACLS algorithm, third-year Emory University internal medicine resident Carrie-Ann Winslow slapped the monitor at the patient's...

It Took Over 3 Years, But ICU Team Finally Finishes Untangling All Those Lines

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SAN JOSE, CA - It took over 3 years and 7 months to do, but the intensive care unit (ICU) team at Holy Cross...

Nurse Enters the Cave of Wonders, Finds Infamous Resident Genie

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On her Saturday shift, Anne looked unusually ecstatic.  This is the same Anne who usually has a frown on her face and is looking...