Internal Medicine

Hypodilaudemia Epidemic Reaches Painful Proportions

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The United States Department of Health and Human Services reports this morning that there has been a recent spike nationwide in...
used speculum tongue depressor

Ten Spectacular Off-Label Uses of the Speculum

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You’re probably familiar with the traditional use of the speculum: visualization of the cervical os, blah blah blah.  We at Gomerblog are pleased to...
tightrope walker

Amateur Tightrope Walker Looks Forward to First Level I Trauma Visit

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KANSAS CITY, MO - 28-year-old Taylor Jasper, a banker by trade who just came across tightroping just days ago, told those closest to him...
fever defervesce

Fed Up ID Doctor Wishes Everyone Would F**king Defervesce Already

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EL PASO, TX - "Fevers, fevers, everywhere I look, someone's got a f**king fever!!" Dr. Ryan Keeley was heard muttering down a hallway at...
hospital employees

Hospital Issues Memorandum Regarding the Revised Policy for Procedure Revisions

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To All Hospital Employees: This memorandum is being issued as notification regarding the revised Policy for Procedure Revisions. The Policy for Procedure Revisions outlines the...
social media

Hospital Reimbursement to Reflect Number of Positive Posts on Social Media

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Mr. Smith had just been discharged from his local hospital after a 6-day stay for detox, anxiety, failure to thrive, and chronic pain.  He...
confused doctor

Breaking News: “Never Event” Actually Happens

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TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCES, NM - The Quality Initiative (QI) Committee here at Truth of Consequences Medical Center (ToCMC) was astounded by the news today that...
gastroenterologist

GI Consultant Thrilled To Hear About Guaiac Positive Formed Stool At 3 AM

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Second-year gastroenterology fellow Dr. I. Scopalot was flabbergasted to hear about an unusual case of guaiac-positive stool found in the emergency department...
doctors lent

PGY-1 Writes Admission Note That Does Not Contain a Single English Word

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PGY1 IM H&P HPI: 54M w/ MMP incl. COPD, HFrEF, stg. IV SSC (?1°, w/ mets to LLL c/b CAP x 3, mets to L-S c/b...
hospitalist

Hospitalist Has Turned On ‘Out of Office’ Reply Permanently

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HARTFORD, CT - Dr. Paul Tanzwicki, a new hospitalist at Upper West Medical Center, was excited to turn his out of office reply on...