Powerful New Hand Dryer Can Dry, Detach Hands in 8 Seconds
EAST LONGMEADOW, MA - Manufacturer of XLERATOR hand dryers, Excel Dryer, has announced that it has produced their most powerful hand dryer yet, called...
Scented Packing Gauze Makes Abscesses Fresh and Fun
PROVIDENCE, RI - The field of wound care is taking note of a new line of whimsically-scented wound packing products pioneered by Quintac Hospital. ...
Valentine’s Day Tease: Stethoscopes in Sexy Positions
WARNING: The following images of sexy stethoscopes in suggestive positions are appropriate only for health care providers older than the age of 18. (Click...
So You Dropped Your Pager into the Toilet, What to Do Next
You're on-call, but before sh*t hits the fan, you hit the toilet. Just when you're pulling up your pants or fixing your belt, you...
CDC Recommends Against All Human Interaction
ATLANTA, GA - Citing people as a major cause of epidemics, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) hopes to eliminate infections once and...
Cardiologists Now Deploying Bacon-Eluting Stents
NASHVILLE, TN - Unfazed by the obesity epidemic and the glorious number of unhealthy choices at their disposal, Americans are always looking for innovative, quicker ways...
Houston Trauma Teams Prepare for Deadly Super Bowl Shootout
HOUSTON, TX - Emergency crews and trauma teams in the Houston area are nervous but ready for Sunday night, as experts are expecting a...
Mother Who Pushed Child into Medicine Charged with Parental Malpractice
BOCA RATON, FL - An area mother who recklessly pushed her son into the field of medicine has been charged with 6 counts of...
Forrest Gump Still in Rhabdo 30 Years After Epic Cross-Country Run
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Though it has been three decades since his historic three-and-a-half year cross-country run brought him national attention, Birmingham Medical Center (BMC)...
Sleeping Beauty Wakes Up After Single Dose of Narcan
MEDIEVAL ENGLAND - In a last ditch effort to prevent intubation for airway protection, Sleeping Beauty - also known as Princess Aurora, the daughter of...