Orthopod Uses Patient’s Femurs to Play the Drums
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Orthopedic surgeon Jake Crusher came home today supremely excited: it was his day off and he just bought a brand new...
Eminem Conference Brings Together Morbidity, Mortality & Hip-Hop
DETROIT, MI - Yesterday’s sold-out Eminem conference at Detroit Medical Center went down as one of the greatest lunchtime conferences in history, with American...
Daft Punk Gets Unlucky, Catches Gonorrhea
PARIS, FRANCE - Known for their repeated declarations of "We're up all night to get lucky," French electronic music duo Daft Punk have unfortunately...
Psych Agrees: “It’s Just Another Manic Monday”
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Well, the weekend is over and it's the start of a new work week. For Tulane psychiatrist Curtis Loder, his...
Local Doctors Refuse to Take Care of Nickelback, Cite Do No Harm
DETROIT, MI - On Saturday at 3:14 p.m., Nickelback’s tour bus crashed into a herd of rouge elephants that had escaped from the now abandoned Detroit City...
Doctors Still Unclear Why Right Said Fred So Sexy It Hurts
LONDON, ENGLAND - Despite a battery of noninvasive and invasive diagnostic tests, doctors at London Medical Center remain puzzled, as they are still unclear why...
BREAKING: Z Dogg MD Not Related to Snoop Dogg
Unfortunately it appears that this theory was concocted after drinking too much Gin and Juice and must now be dropped like it is hot and allowed to lay low.
Snoop Dogg Completes Geriatrics Fellowship
LONG BEACH, CA - After seemingly vanishing from the public eye for over a decade, former rapper Calvin "Snoop Dogg" Broadus announced that he...
Man Takes Care of Vinyl Records Better Than Himself
AUSTIN, TX - A 33-and-a-half-year-old Austin man has been observed to and openly admits to taking care of his vinyl records better than himself,...
Chaplain Bon Jovi’s Advice: “We’re Halfway There, WHOA, Livin’ on a Prayer!!”
SAYREVILLE, NJ - Asked to comment on life at Slippery When Wet Medical Center (SWWMC), hospital chaplain Jon Bon Jovi looked at his patient list and...