PT Asks Patient to “Walk Like an Egyptian”
ATHENS, GA - In breaking rehabilitation news this morning, Athens Medical Center physical therapist (PT) Susanna Hoffs has just asked her deconditioned 89-year-old patient in...
Happy Birthday, Aretha! A Gomerblog Tribute
And now a rare piece of news that is not about COVID-19:
On March 25, 1942, the Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin, was born....
CDC Announces “It’s Friday, I’m in Love!!”
ATLANTA, GA - After informing Thursday that it didn't care about it, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has happily announced that...
Music Therapist Fired After Being Caught with Nickelback CD
TUSCALOOSA, AL - Local music therapist, Don D’Krell was relieved of his duties last week after nursing staff saw him bringing a Nickelback CD...
Patient Laudy Daughty Seen Partying with Snoop Dogg, Not Causing Any Trouble and Not...
LOS ANGELES, CA – Dr. Kimbell said, “I’m not concerned because when he rocks the mic he rocks the mic right.” Mr. Daughty’s endocrinologist...
Milli Vanilli No Longer Blames It on the Rain, Blames Anesthesia Instead
MUNICH, GERMANY - German R&B group Milli Vanilli is back in the spotlight. After decades of purporting the theory that we should just "blame...
Orthopod Uses Patient’s Femurs to Play the Drums
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Orthopedic surgeon Jake Crusher came home today supremely excited: it was his day off and he just bought a brand new...
Maroon 5 Admitted to Hospital with 5 Maroon Stools
LOS ANGELES, CA - Maroon 5 is hospitalized at UCLA Medical Center after collectively experiencing 5 maroon-colored stools, including lead singer and NBC’s The...
Local RN Reprograms IV Pump Alarm to Play Michael Bolton; Patients No Longer Report...
BUFFALO, NY - When one hears the epithet "problem solver," one recalls the inventors of Duct Tape, Ativan, Propofol, and Discharged AMA. Today, at...
Gastroenterologist Discovers Advanced Colonoscopy Technique, Twerk Position, While Working on Miley Cyrus
ANAHEIM, CA - Dr. Dan Abernath, known as the gastroenterologist to the stars, submitted a paper to Gastroenterology, describing a new advanced colonoscopy technique...