Eminem Conference Brings Together Morbidity, Mortality & Hip-Hop

28
DETROIT, MI - Yesterday’s sold-out Eminem conference at Detroit Medical Center went down as one of the greatest lunchtime conferences in history, with American...

Local Doctors Refuse to Take Care of Nickelback, Cite Do No Harm

6
DETROIT, MI - On Saturday at 3:14 p.m., Nickelback’s tour bus crashed into a herd of rouge elephants that had escaped from the now abandoned Detroit City...
musical chairs

New Musical Chairs Discharge Protocol Fun & Effective

0
NEW YORK, NY - Is your hospital filled to the gills?  With patients sicker than ever, are discharges few and far between?  Things may...
defibrillator

ICU Team Develops Defibrillator With New Setting: The Slow Code Mode

39
PHOENIX, AZ - Luck of the Lady Hospital in Arizona has begun to trial a defibrillator developed by a few of its seasoned staff,...
Daft Punk

Daft Punk Gets Unlucky, Catches Gonorrhea

0
PARIS, FRANCE - Known for their repeated declarations of "We're up all night to get lucky," French electronic music duo Daft Punk have unfortunately...
CDC The Cure Friday I'm in Love

CDC Announces “It’s Friday, I’m in Love!!”

0
ATLANTA, GA - After informing Thursday that it didn't care about it, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has happily announced that...
Rudolph the Brown-Nosed Intern

Learn the Lyrics to “Rudolph the Brown-Nosed Intern”

0
Are you ready to sing along to this Christmas classic?!  MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Intro You know Thomas and Becky and Patrick and Vicki Connie and Colin and...
stethoscope lost in hospital

Lady Gaga’s Doctor Finding It Difficult to Auscultate Her Heart

0
NEW YORK, NY - Dr. Rubenstein told reporters Friday that he struggles to auscultate Lady’s heart.  Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, also known as Lady Gaga,...

Doctors Still Unclear Why Right Said Fred So Sexy It Hurts

15
LONDON, ENGLAND - Despite a battery of noninvasive and invasive diagnostic tests, doctors at London Medical Center remain puzzled, as they are still unclear why...
iv pump alarm

Local RN Reprograms IV Pump Alarm to Play Michael Bolton; Patients No Longer Report...

31
BUFFALO, NY - When one hears the epithet "problem solver," one recalls the inventors of Duct Tape, Ativan, Propofol, and Discharged AMA.  Today, at...