Patient Laudy Daughty Seen Partying with Snoop Dogg, Not Causing Any Trouble and Not...
LOS ANGELES, CA – Dr. Kimbell said, “I’m not concerned because when he rocks the mic he rocks the mic right.” Mr. Daughty’s endocrinologist...
ICU Team Develops Defibrillator With New Setting: The Slow Code Mode
PHOENIX, AZ - Luck of the Lady Hospital in Arizona has begun to trial a defibrillator developed by a few of its seasoned staff,...
Maroon 5 Admitted to Hospital with 5 Maroon Stools
LOS ANGELES, CA - Maroon 5 is hospitalized at UCLA Medical Center after collectively experiencing 5 maroon-colored stools, including lead singer and NBC’s The...
Local Doctors Refuse to Take Care of Nickelback, Cite Do No Harm
DETROIT, MI - On Saturday at 3:14 p.m., Nickelback’s tour bus crashed into a herd of rouge elephants that had escaped from the now abandoned Detroit City...
Local RN Reprograms IV Pump Alarm to Play Michael Bolton; Patients No Longer Report...
BUFFALO, NY - When one hears the epithet "problem solver," one recalls the inventors of Duct Tape, Ativan, Propofol, and Discharged AMA. Today, at...
Justin Timberlake: I’m Bringing Measles Baaaack
Recently Justin Timberlake announced to the world that he is not planning to vaccinate his child. Evidently all the scientific evidence looks different behind...
CDC Announces “It’s Friday, I’m in Love!!”
ATLANTA, GA - After informing Thursday that it didn't care about it, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has happily announced that...
Music Review: Radiohead’s Clinic A
Rating: 4.5 out of 5 QRS Complexes
The opening track is called “Everything is AV-Paced.” It is an adventure in arrhythmia, with drummer Phil Selway...
Lady Gaga’s Doctor Finding It Difficult to Auscultate Her Heart
NEW YORK, NY - Dr. Rubenstein told reporters Friday that he struggles to auscultate Lady’s heart. Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, also known as Lady Gaga,...
“Bieber Fever” Determined to Be Neurosyphilis
CAMBRIDGE, MA – Scientists have been investigating an outbreak that has been sweeping over the world the past several years that has been coined...