Music Therapist Fired After Being Caught with Nickelback CD

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TUSCALOOSA, AL - Local music therapist, Don D’Krell was relieved of his duties last week after nursing staff saw him bringing a Nickelback CD...

Music Review: Radiohead’s Clinic A

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Rating: 4.5 out of 5 QRS Complexes The opening track is called “Everything is AV-Paced.”  It is an adventure in arrhythmia, with drummer Phil Selway...

ER Visits Down 72% When it Rains, Trial to Focus on Healing Power of...

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NEW ORLEANS, LA – A multicenter observational study last year reviewed millions of ER visits and found that ER visits are down 72% when it rains....
physical therapy

PT Asks Patient to “Walk Like an Egyptian”

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ATHENS, GA - In breaking rehabilitation news this morning, Athens Medical Center physical therapist (PT) Susanna Hoffs has just asked her deconditioned 89-year-old patient in...

Doctors Still Unclear Why Right Said Fred So Sexy It Hurts

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LONDON, ENGLAND - Despite a battery of noninvasive and invasive diagnostic tests, doctors at London Medical Center remain puzzled, as they are still unclear why...
pot of coffee

Maroon 5 Admitted to Hospital with 5 Maroon Stools

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Maroon 5 is hospitalized at UCLA Medical Center after collectively experiencing 5 maroon-colored stools, including lead singer and NBC’s The...

Milli Vanilli No Longer Blames It on the Rain, Blames Anesthesia Instead

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MUNICH, GERMANY - German R&B group Milli Vanilli is back in the spotlight.  After decades of purporting the theory that we should just "blame...
CDC The Cure Friday I'm in Love

CDC Announces “It’s Friday, I’m in Love!!”

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ATLANTA, GA - After informing Thursday that it didn't care about it, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has happily announced that...
geriatric fellowship

Snoop Dogg Completes Geriatrics Fellowship

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LONG BEACH, CA - After seemingly vanishing from the public eye for over a decade, former rapper Calvin "Snoop Dogg" Broadus announced that he...

Man Takes Care of Vinyl Records Better Than Himself

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AUSTIN, TX - A 33-and-a-half-year-old Austin man has been observed to and openly admits to taking care of his vinyl records better than himself,...