Local RN Reprograms IV Pump Alarm to Play Michael Bolton; Patients No Longer Report...
BUFFALO, NY - When one hears the epithet "problem solver," one recalls the inventors of Duct Tape, Ativan, Propofol, and Discharged AMA. Today, at...
“Bieber Fever” Determined to Be Neurosyphilis
CAMBRIDGE, MA – Scientists have been investigating an outbreak that has been sweeping over the world the past several years that has been coined...
Music Review: Radiohead’s Clinic A
Rating: 4.5 out of 5 QRS Complexes
The opening track is called “Everything is AV-Paced.” It is an adventure in arrhythmia, with drummer Phil Selway...
Eminem Conference Brings Together Morbidity, Mortality & Hip-Hop
DETROIT, MI - Yesterday’s sold-out Eminem conference at Detroit Medical Center went down as one of the greatest lunchtime conferences in history, with American...
Justin Timberlake: I’m Bringing Measles Baaaack
Recently Justin Timberlake announced to the world that he is not planning to vaccinate his child. Evidently all the scientific evidence looks different behind...
Makes Sense: Shouting Out “Free Bird!” at Concerts a Form of Tic Disorder
PHILADELPHIA, PA - It is inevitable when you go to a live concert: Between songs someone in the crowd screams out “Free Bird!” Well,...
PT Asks Patient to “Walk Like an Egyptian”
ATHENS, GA - In breaking rehabilitation news this morning, Athens Medical Center physical therapist (PT) Susanna Hoffs has just asked her deconditioned 89-year-old patient in...
Chaplain Bon Jovi’s Advice: “We’re Halfway There, WHOA, Livin’ on a Prayer!!”
SAYREVILLE, NJ - Asked to comment on life at Slippery When Wet Medical Center (SWWMC), hospital chaplain Jon Bon Jovi looked at his patient list and...
ICU Team Develops Defibrillator With New Setting: The Slow Code Mode
PHOENIX, AZ - Luck of the Lady Hospital in Arizona has begun to trial a defibrillator developed by a few of its seasoned staff,...
Lady Gaga’s Doctor Finding It Difficult to Auscultate Her Heart
NEW YORK, NY - Dr. Rubenstein told reporters Friday that he struggles to auscultate Lady’s heart. Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, also known as Lady Gaga,...