call button nursing lockout interval

Vanilla Ice Keeps Ringing Call Light for “Ice Ice Baby”

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MIAMI, FL - All right stop!  Collaborate and listen: Gomerblog reports that patient Vanilla Ice is bugging the hell out of nursing staff at Miami Medical Center...

Happy Birthday, Aretha! A Gomerblog Tribute

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And now a rare piece of news that is not about COVID-19: On March 25, 1942, the Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin, was born....

“Bieber Fever” Determined to Be Neurosyphilis

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CAMBRIDGE, MA – Scientists have been investigating an outbreak that has been sweeping over the world the past several years that has been coined...
Daft Punk

Daft Punk Gets Unlucky, Catches Gonorrhea

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PARIS, FRANCE - Known for their repeated declarations of "We're up all night to get lucky," French electronic music duo Daft Punk have unfortunately...

Chaplain Bon Jovi’s Advice: “We’re Halfway There, WHOA, Livin’ on a Prayer!!”

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SAYREVILLE, NJ - Asked to comment on life at Slippery When Wet Medical Center (SWWMC), hospital chaplain Jon Bon Jovi looked at his patient list and...
physical therapy

PT Asks Patient to “Walk Like an Egyptian”

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ATHENS, GA - In breaking rehabilitation news this morning, Athens Medical Center physical therapist (PT) Susanna Hoffs has just asked her deconditioned 89-year-old patient in...

Man Takes Care of Vinyl Records Better Than Himself

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AUSTIN, TX - A 33-and-a-half-year-old Austin man has been observed to and openly admits to taking care of his vinyl records better than himself,...

Eminem Conference Brings Together Morbidity, Mortality & Hip-Hop

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DETROIT, MI - Yesterday’s sold-out Eminem conference at Detroit Medical Center went down as one of the greatest lunchtime conferences in history, with American...

Makes Sense: Shouting Out “Free Bird!” at Concerts a Form of Tic Disorder

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - It is inevitable when you go to a live concert: Between songs someone in the crowd screams out “Free Bird!”  Well,...

Psych Agrees: “It’s Just Another Manic Monday”

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - Well, the weekend is over and it's the start of a new work week.  For Tulane psychiatrist Curtis Loder, his...