femurs

Orthopod Uses Patient’s Femurs to Play the Drums

0
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Orthopedic surgeon Jake Crusher came home today supremely excited: it was his day off and he just bought a brand new...
call button nursing lockout interval

Vanilla Ice Keeps Ringing Call Light for “Ice Ice Baby”

0
MIAMI, FL - All right stop!  Collaborate and listen: Gomerblog reports that patient Vanilla Ice is bugging the hell out of nursing staff at Miami Medical Center...
pot of coffee

Maroon 5 Admitted to Hospital with 5 Maroon Stools

24
LOS ANGELES, CA - Maroon 5 is hospitalized at UCLA Medical Center after collectively experiencing 5 maroon-colored stools, including lead singer and NBC’s The...

Music Therapy: Gomerblog’s COVID-19 Doomsday Playlist

0
One of my friends with Palliative Care started this, thank goodness... and I got obsessed with it. I think we all need this. What...

Local Doctors Refuse to Take Care of Nickelback, Cite Do No Harm

6
DETROIT, MI - On Saturday at 3:14 p.m., Nickelback’s tour bus crashed into a herd of rouge elephants that had escaped from the now abandoned Detroit City...

Man Takes Care of Vinyl Records Better Than Himself

0
AUSTIN, TX - A 33-and-a-half-year-old Austin man has been observed to and openly admits to taking care of his vinyl records better than himself,...
defibrillator

ICU Team Develops Defibrillator With New Setting: The Slow Code Mode

39
PHOENIX, AZ - Luck of the Lady Hospital in Arizona has begun to trial a defibrillator developed by a few of its seasoned staff,...

Chaplain Bon Jovi’s Advice: “We’re Halfway There, WHOA, Livin’ on a Prayer!!”

0
SAYREVILLE, NJ - Asked to comment on life at Slippery When Wet Medical Center (SWWMC), hospital chaplain Jon Bon Jovi looked at his patient list and...

Hospital Gets Sexy as Overhead Speakers Start Playing a Little Marvin Gaye

0
ATLANTA, GA - Time to slow things down... real… slow… and heat things up.  There’s a different feeling in the air at Georgia Medical...

Miley Cyrus Undergoing Evaluation for Myoclonic Twerks

0
ROCHESTER, MN - American singer and actress Miley Cyrus has told Gomerblog that she has experienced worsening myoclonic twerks over the past several months...