physical therapy

PT Asks Patient to “Walk Like an Egyptian”

0
ATHENS, GA - In breaking rehabilitation news this morning, Athens Medical Center physical therapist (PT) Susanna Hoffs has just asked her deconditioned 89-year-old patient in...
Daft Punk

Daft Punk Gets Unlucky, Catches Gonorrhea

0
PARIS, FRANCE - Known for their repeated declarations of "We're up all night to get lucky," French electronic music duo Daft Punk have unfortunately...

Chaplain Bon Jovi’s Advice: “We’re Halfway There, WHOA, Livin’ on a Prayer!!”

0
SAYREVILLE, NJ - Asked to comment on life at Slippery When Wet Medical Center (SWWMC), hospital chaplain Jon Bon Jovi looked at his patient list and...
iv pump alarm

Local RN Reprograms IV Pump Alarm to Play Michael Bolton; Patients No Longer Report...

31
BUFFALO, NY - When one hears the epithet "problem solver," one recalls the inventors of Duct Tape, Ativan, Propofol, and Discharged AMA.  Today, at...

“Bieber Fever” Determined to Be Neurosyphilis

0
CAMBRIDGE, MA – Scientists have been investigating an outbreak that has been sweeping over the world the past several years that has been coined...
femurs

Orthopod Uses Patient’s Femurs to Play the Drums

0
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Orthopedic surgeon Jake Crusher came home today supremely excited: it was his day off and he just bought a brand new...
stethoscope lost in hospital

Lady Gaga’s Doctor Finding It Difficult to Auscultate Her Heart

0
NEW YORK, NY - Dr. Rubenstein told reporters Friday that he struggles to auscultate Lady’s heart.  Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, also known as Lady Gaga,...
defibrillator

ICU Team Develops Defibrillator With New Setting: The Slow Code Mode

39
PHOENIX, AZ - Luck of the Lady Hospital in Arizona has begun to trial a defibrillator developed by a few of its seasoned staff,...

Music Therapist Fired After Being Caught with Nickelback CD

0
TUSCALOOSA, AL - Local music therapist, Don D’Krell was relieved of his duties last week after nursing staff saw him bringing a Nickelback CD...

Eminem Conference Brings Together Morbidity, Mortality & Hip-Hop

28
DETROIT, MI - Yesterday’s sold-out Eminem conference at Detroit Medical Center went down as one of the greatest lunchtime conferences in history, with American...