ICU Team Develops Defibrillator With New Setting: The Slow Code Mode
PHOENIX, AZ - Luck of the Lady Hospital in Arizona has begun to trial a defibrillator developed by a few of its seasoned staff,...
New Musical Chairs Discharge Protocol Fun & Effective
NEW YORK, NY - Is your hospital filled to the gills? With patients sicker than ever, are discharges few and far between? Things may...
Conrad Murray Hired Promoting Exclusive Anesthesia Use for Propofol
HOUSTON, TX – Dr. Conrad Murray, a smooth criminal, has been released from jail following his two-year sentence for the death of Michael Jackson. He has been unable to...
CDC Announces “It’s Friday, I’m in Love!!”
ATLANTA, GA - After informing Thursday that it didn't care about it, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has happily announced that...
Daft Punk Gets Unlucky, Catches Gonorrhea
PARIS, FRANCE - Known for their repeated declarations of "We're up all night to get lucky," French electronic music duo Daft Punk have unfortunately...
Orthopod Uses Patient’s Femurs to Play the Drums
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Orthopedic surgeon Jake Crusher came home today supremely excited: it was his day off and he just bought a brand new...
ER Visits Down 72% When it Rains, Trial to Focus on Healing Power of...
NEW ORLEANS, LA – A multicenter observational study last year reviewed millions of ER visits and found that ER visits are down 72% when it rains....
“Bieber Fever” Determined to Be Neurosyphilis
CAMBRIDGE, MA – Scientists have been investigating an outbreak that has been sweeping over the world the past several years that has been coined...
BREAKING: Z Dogg MD Not Related to Snoop Dogg
Unfortunately it appears that this theory was concocted after drinking too much Gin and Juice and must now be dropped like it is hot and allowed to lay low.
Snoop Dogg Completes Geriatrics Fellowship
LONG BEACH, CA - After seemingly vanishing from the public eye for over a decade, former rapper Calvin "Snoop Dogg" Broadus announced that he...