femurs

Orthopod Uses Patient’s Femurs to Play the Drums

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Orthopedic surgeon Jake Crusher came home today supremely excited: it was his day off and he just bought a brand new...

Miley Cyrus Undergoing Evaluation for Myoclonic Twerks

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ROCHESTER, MN - American singer and actress Miley Cyrus has told Gomerblog that she has experienced worsening myoclonic twerks over the past several months...

Milli Vanilli No Longer Blames It on the Rain, Blames Anesthesia Instead

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MUNICH, GERMANY - German R&B group Milli Vanilli is back in the spotlight.  After decades of purporting the theory that we should just "blame...
call button nursing lockout interval

Vanilla Ice Keeps Ringing Call Light for “Ice Ice Baby”

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MIAMI, FL - All right stop!  Collaborate and listen: Gomerblog reports that patient Vanilla Ice is bugging the hell out of nursing staff at Miami Medical Center...
Daft Punk

Daft Punk Gets Unlucky, Catches Gonorrhea

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PARIS, FRANCE - Known for their repeated declarations of "We're up all night to get lucky," French electronic music duo Daft Punk have unfortunately...
Rudolph the Brown-Nosed Intern

Learn the Lyrics to “Rudolph the Brown-Nosed Intern”

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Are you ready to sing along to this Christmas classic?!  MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! Intro You know Thomas and Becky and Patrick and Vicki Connie and Colin and...
iv pump alarm

Local RN Reprograms IV Pump Alarm to Play Michael Bolton; Patients No Longer Report...

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BUFFALO, NY - When one hears the epithet "problem solver," one recalls the inventors of Duct Tape, Ativan, Propofol, and Discharged AMA.  Today, at...

Music Review: Radiohead’s Clinic A

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Rating: 4.5 out of 5 QRS Complexes The opening track is called “Everything is AV-Paced.”  It is an adventure in arrhythmia, with drummer Phil Selway...
Bell Biv Devoe

Toxicologist Bell Biv DeVoe Confirms: ‘That Girl is Poison’

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BOSTON, MA - After "sensing something strange in my mind" for a few days now, Boston emergency physician and toxiciologist Dr. Bell Biv DeVoe has...
physical therapy

PT Asks Patient to “Walk Like an Egyptian”

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ATHENS, GA - In breaking rehabilitation news this morning, Athens Medical Center physical therapist (PT) Susanna Hoffs has just asked her deconditioned 89-year-old patient in...