CDC Announces “It’s Friday, I’m in Love!!”
ATLANTA, GA - After informing Thursday that it didn't care about it, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has happily announced that...
Snoop Dogg Completes Geriatrics Fellowship
LONG BEACH, CA - After seemingly vanishing from the public eye for over a decade, former rapper Calvin "Snoop Dogg" Broadus announced that he...
Orthopod Uses Patient’s Femurs to Play the Drums
BIRMINGHAM, AL - Orthopedic surgeon Jake Crusher came home today supremely excited: it was his day off and he just bought a brand new...
ER Visits Down 72% When it Rains, Trial to Focus on Healing Power of...
NEW ORLEANS, LA – A multicenter observational study last year reviewed millions of ER visits and found that ER visits are down 72% when it rains....
Makes Sense: Shouting Out “Free Bird!” at Concerts a Form of Tic Disorder
PHILADELPHIA, PA - It is inevitable when you go to a live concert: Between songs someone in the crowd screams out “Free Bird!” Well,...
Miley Cyrus Undergoing Evaluation for Myoclonic Twerks
ROCHESTER, MN - American singer and actress Miley Cyrus has told Gomerblog that she has experienced worsening myoclonic twerks over the past several months...
Conrad Murray Hired Promoting Exclusive Anesthesia Use for Propofol
HOUSTON, TX – Dr. Conrad Murray, a smooth criminal, has been released from jail following his two-year sentence for the death of Michael Jackson. He has been unable to...
Toxicologist Bell Biv DeVoe Confirms: ‘That Girl is Poison’
BOSTON, MA - After "sensing something strange in my mind" for a few days now, Boston emergency physician and toxiciologist Dr. Bell Biv DeVoe has...
Eminem Conference Brings Together Morbidity, Mortality & Hip-Hop
DETROIT, MI - Yesterday’s sold-out Eminem conference at Detroit Medical Center went down as one of the greatest lunchtime conferences in history, with American...
Local RN Reprograms IV Pump Alarm to Play Michael Bolton; Patients No Longer Report...
BUFFALO, NY - When one hears the epithet "problem solver," one recalls the inventors of Duct Tape, Ativan, Propofol, and Discharged AMA. Today, at...