Daft Punk

Daft Punk Gets Unlucky, Catches Gonorrhea

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PARIS, FRANCE - Known for their repeated declarations of "We're up all night to get lucky," French electronic music duo Daft Punk have unfortunately...
musical chairs

New Musical Chairs Discharge Protocol Fun & Effective

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NEW YORK, NY - Is your hospital filled to the gills?  With patients sicker than ever, are discharges few and far between?  Things may...
femurs

Orthopod Uses Patient’s Femurs to Play the Drums

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Orthopedic surgeon Jake Crusher came home today supremely excited: it was his day off and he just bought a brand new...

“Bieber Fever” Determined to Be Neurosyphilis

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CAMBRIDGE, MA – Scientists have been investigating an outbreak that has been sweeping over the world the past several years that has been coined...

Man Takes Care of Vinyl Records Better Than Himself

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AUSTIN, TX - A 33-and-a-half-year-old Austin man has been observed to and openly admits to taking care of his vinyl records better than himself,...

Local Doctors Refuse to Take Care of Nickelback, Cite Do No Harm

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DETROIT, MI - On Saturday at 3:14 p.m., Nickelback’s tour bus crashed into a herd of rouge elephants that had escaped from the now abandoned Detroit City...
defibrillator

ICU Team Develops Defibrillator With New Setting: The Slow Code Mode

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PHOENIX, AZ - Luck of the Lady Hospital in Arizona has begun to trial a defibrillator developed by a few of its seasoned staff,...
stethoscope lost in hospital

Lady Gaga’s Doctor Finding It Difficult to Auscultate Her Heart

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NEW YORK, NY - Dr. Rubenstein told reporters Friday that he struggles to auscultate Lady’s heart.  Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, also known as Lady Gaga,...

Doctors Still Unclear Why Right Said Fred So Sexy It Hurts

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LONDON, ENGLAND - Despite a battery of noninvasive and invasive diagnostic tests, doctors at London Medical Center remain puzzled, as they are still unclear why...

Music Therapy: Gomerblog’s COVID-19 Doomsday Playlist

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One of my friends with Palliative Care started this, thank goodness... and I got obsessed with it. I think we all need this. What...