Maroon 5 Admitted to Hospital with 5 Maroon Stools
LOS ANGELES, CA - Maroon 5 is hospitalized at UCLA Medical Center after collectively experiencing 5 maroon-colored stools, including lead singer and NBC’s The...
Conrad Murray Hired Promoting Exclusive Anesthesia Use for Propofol
HOUSTON, TX – Dr. Conrad Murray, a smooth criminal, has been released from jail following his two-year sentence for the death of Michael Jackson. He has been unable to...
New Musical Chairs Discharge Protocol Fun & Effective
NEW YORK, NY - Is your hospital filled to the gills? With patients sicker than ever, are discharges few and far between? Things may...
Snoop Dogg Completes Geriatrics Fellowship
LONG BEACH, CA - After seemingly vanishing from the public eye for over a decade, former rapper Calvin "Snoop Dogg" Broadus announced that he...
Learn the Lyrics to “Rudolph the Brown-Nosed Intern”
Are you ready to sing along to this Christmas classic?! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
Intro
You know Thomas and Becky and Patrick and Vicki
Connie and Colin and...
Toxicologist Bell Biv DeVoe Confirms: ‘That Girl is Poison’
BOSTON, MA - After "sensing something strange in my mind" for a few days now, Boston emergency physician and toxiciologist Dr. Bell Biv DeVoe has...
CDC Announces “It’s Friday, I’m in Love!!”
ATLANTA, GA - After informing Thursday that it didn't care about it, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has happily announced that...
Local RN Reprograms IV Pump Alarm to Play Michael Bolton; Patients No Longer Report...
BUFFALO, NY - When one hears the epithet "problem solver," one recalls the inventors of Duct Tape, Ativan, Propofol, and Discharged AMA. Today, at...
ICU Team Develops Defibrillator With New Setting: The Slow Code Mode
PHOENIX, AZ - Luck of the Lady Hospital in Arizona has begun to trial a defibrillator developed by a few of its seasoned staff,...
Milli Vanilli No Longer Blames It on the Rain, Blames Anesthesia Instead
MUNICH, GERMANY - German R&B group Milli Vanilli is back in the spotlight. After decades of purporting the theory that we should just "blame...