Daft Punk

Daft Punk Gets Unlucky, Catches Gonorrhea

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PARIS, FRANCE - Known for their repeated declarations of "We're up all night to get lucky," French electronic music duo Daft Punk have unfortunately...

Hospital Gets Sexy as Overhead Speakers Start Playing a Little Marvin Gaye

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ATLANTA, GA - Time to slow things down... real… slow… and heat things up.  There’s a different feeling in the air at Georgia Medical...

“Bieber Fever” Determined to Be Neurosyphilis

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CAMBRIDGE, MA – Scientists have been investigating an outbreak that has been sweeping over the world the past several years that has been coined...
stethoscope lost in hospital

Lady Gaga’s Doctor Finding It Difficult to Auscultate Her Heart

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NEW YORK, NY - Dr. Rubenstein told reporters Friday that he struggles to auscultate Lady’s heart.  Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, also known as Lady Gaga,...
iv pump alarm

Local RN Reprograms IV Pump Alarm to Play Michael Bolton; Patients No Longer Report...

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BUFFALO, NY - When one hears the epithet "problem solver," one recalls the inventors of Duct Tape, Ativan, Propofol, and Discharged AMA.  Today, at...
Bell Biv Devoe

Toxicologist Bell Biv DeVoe Confirms: ‘That Girl is Poison’

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BOSTON, MA - After "sensing something strange in my mind" for a few days now, Boston emergency physician and toxiciologist Dr. Bell Biv DeVoe has...
defibrillator

ICU Team Develops Defibrillator With New Setting: The Slow Code Mode

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PHOENIX, AZ - Luck of the Lady Hospital in Arizona has begun to trial a defibrillator developed by a few of its seasoned staff,...
femurs

Orthopod Uses Patient’s Femurs to Play the Drums

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Orthopedic surgeon Jake Crusher came home today supremely excited: it was his day off and he just bought a brand new...

The Difference Between a Pianist and a Penis

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In this series, Gomerblog delves deep into two things often mistaken for one another and helps sort out their differences in order to help...

Music Review: Radiohead’s Clinic A

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Rating: 4.5 out of 5 QRS Complexes The opening track is called “Everything is AV-Paced.”  It is an adventure in arrhythmia, with drummer Phil Selway...