call button nursing lockout interval

Vanilla Ice Keeps Ringing Call Light for “Ice Ice Baby”

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MIAMI, FL - All right stop!  Collaborate and listen: Gomerblog reports that patient Vanilla Ice is bugging the hell out of nursing staff at Miami Medical Center...

Makes Sense: Shouting Out “Free Bird!” at Concerts a Form of Tic Disorder

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - It is inevitable when you go to a live concert: Between songs someone in the crowd screams out “Free Bird!”  Well,...
defibrillator

ICU Team Develops Defibrillator With New Setting: The Slow Code Mode

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PHOENIX, AZ - Luck of the Lady Hospital in Arizona has begun to trial a defibrillator developed by a few of its seasoned staff,...
musical chairs

New Musical Chairs Discharge Protocol Fun & Effective

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NEW YORK, NY - Is your hospital filled to the gills?  With patients sicker than ever, are discharges few and far between?  Things may...
physical therapy

PT Asks Patient to “Walk Like an Egyptian”

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ATHENS, GA - In breaking rehabilitation news this morning, Athens Medical Center physical therapist (PT) Susanna Hoffs has just asked her deconditioned 89-year-old patient in...

Chaplain Bon Jovi’s Advice: “We’re Halfway There, WHOA, Livin’ on a Prayer!!”

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SAYREVILLE, NJ - Asked to comment on life at Slippery When Wet Medical Center (SWWMC), hospital chaplain Jon Bon Jovi looked at his patient list and...

BREAKING: Z Dogg MD Not Related to Snoop Dogg

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Unfortunately it appears that this theory was concocted after drinking too much Gin and Juice and must now be dropped like it is hot and allowed to lay low.
pot of coffee

Maroon 5 Admitted to Hospital with 5 Maroon Stools

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Maroon 5 is hospitalized at UCLA Medical Center after collectively experiencing 5 maroon-colored stools, including lead singer and NBC’s The...
stethoscope lost in hospital

Lady Gaga’s Doctor Finding It Difficult to Auscultate Her Heart

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NEW YORK, NY - Dr. Rubenstein told reporters Friday that he struggles to auscultate Lady’s heart.  Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, also known as Lady Gaga,...

Miley Cyrus Undergoing Evaluation for Myoclonic Twerks

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ROCHESTER, MN - American singer and actress Miley Cyrus has told Gomerblog that she has experienced worsening myoclonic twerks over the past several months...