defibrillator

ICU Team Develops Defibrillator With New Setting: The Slow Code Mode

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PHOENIX, AZ - Luck of the Lady Hospital in Arizona has begun to trial a defibrillator developed by a few of its seasoned staff,...

Patient Laudy Daughty Seen Partying with Snoop Dogg, Not Causing Any Trouble and Not...

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LOS ANGELES, CA – Dr. Kimbell said, “I’m not concerned because when he rocks the mic he rocks the mic right.”  Mr. Daughty’s endocrinologist...

Man Takes Care of Vinyl Records Better Than Himself

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AUSTIN, TX - A 33-and-a-half-year-old Austin man has been observed to and openly admits to taking care of his vinyl records better than himself,...

Music Review: Radiohead’s Clinic A

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Rating: 4.5 out of 5 QRS Complexes The opening track is called “Everything is AV-Paced.”  It is an adventure in arrhythmia, with drummer Phil Selway...

Chaplain Bon Jovi’s Advice: “We’re Halfway There, WHOA, Livin’ on a Prayer!!”

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SAYREVILLE, NJ - Asked to comment on life at Slippery When Wet Medical Center (SWWMC), hospital chaplain Jon Bon Jovi looked at his patient list and...

Eminem Conference Brings Together Morbidity, Mortality & Hip-Hop

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DETROIT, MI - Yesterday’s sold-out Eminem conference at Detroit Medical Center went down as one of the greatest lunchtime conferences in history, with American...
geriatric fellowship

Snoop Dogg Completes Geriatrics Fellowship

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LONG BEACH, CA - After seemingly vanishing from the public eye for over a decade, former rapper Calvin "Snoop Dogg" Broadus announced that he...
physical therapy

PT Asks Patient to “Walk Like an Egyptian”

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ATHENS, GA - In breaking rehabilitation news this morning, Athens Medical Center physical therapist (PT) Susanna Hoffs has just asked her deconditioned 89-year-old patient in...

Local Doctors Refuse to Take Care of Nickelback, Cite Do No Harm

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DETROIT, MI - On Saturday at 3:14 p.m., Nickelback’s tour bus crashed into a herd of rouge elephants that had escaped from the now abandoned Detroit City...

Conrad Murray Hired Promoting Exclusive Anesthesia Use for Propofol

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HOUSTON, TX – Dr. Conrad Murray, a smooth criminal, has been released from jail following his two-year sentence for the death of Michael Jackson.  He has been unable to...