Man Takes Care of Vinyl Records Better Than Himself

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AUSTIN, TX - A 33-and-a-half-year-old Austin man has been observed to and openly admits to taking care of his vinyl records better than himself,...
CDC The Cure Friday I'm in Love

CDC Announces “It’s Friday, I’m in Love!!”

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ATLANTA, GA - After informing Thursday that it didn't care about it, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has happily announced that...

Music Review: Radiohead’s Clinic A

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Rating: 4.5 out of 5 QRS Complexes The opening track is called “Everything is AV-Paced.”  It is an adventure in arrhythmia, with drummer Phil Selway...

Gastroenterologist Discovers Advanced Colonoscopy Technique, Twerk Position, While Working on Miley Cyrus

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ANAHEIM, CA - Dr. Dan Abernath, known as the gastroenterologist to the stars, submitted a paper to Gastroenterology, describing a new advanced colonoscopy technique...
geriatric fellowship

Snoop Dogg Completes Geriatrics Fellowship

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LONG BEACH, CA - After seemingly vanishing from the public eye for over a decade, former rapper Calvin "Snoop Dogg" Broadus announced that he...
defibrillator

ICU Team Develops Defibrillator With New Setting: The Slow Code Mode

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PHOENIX, AZ - Luck of the Lady Hospital in Arizona has begun to trial a defibrillator developed by a few of its seasoned staff,...

Milli Vanilli No Longer Blames It on the Rain, Blames Anesthesia Instead

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MUNICH, GERMANY - German R&B group Milli Vanilli is back in the spotlight.  After decades of purporting the theory that we should just "blame...

BREAKING: Z Dogg MD Not Related to Snoop Dogg

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Unfortunately it appears that this theory was concocted after drinking too much Gin and Juice and must now be dropped like it is hot and allowed to lay low.

Chaplain Bon Jovi’s Advice: “We’re Halfway There, WHOA, Livin’ on a Prayer!!”

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SAYREVILLE, NJ - Asked to comment on life at Slippery When Wet Medical Center (SWWMC), hospital chaplain Jon Bon Jovi looked at his patient list and...

Eminem Conference Brings Together Morbidity, Mortality & Hip-Hop

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DETROIT, MI - Yesterday’s sold-out Eminem conference at Detroit Medical Center went down as one of the greatest lunchtime conferences in history, with American...