FDA Bans Insulin Amid Reports of Increased Amputations and Other Life Threatening Diseases
MEMPHIS, TN – The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced on Monday that they are pulling insulin off the shelves across the country. "We feel this drug is just not as safe as we...
Mesh Underwear Now Under Lock and Key
ATLANTA, GA - Mercy Hospital was forced to place their mesh underwear under lock and key due to staff constantly taking them home for personal use. Hospital administrator Darlene Chalmers tells reporters that one of their...
If the Alcoholic Patient in Room 320 Soils His Sheets Again, Nurse Plans on...
MIAMI, FL - Emily Jenkins, a medical ward nurse, plans on completely "losing it" if the alcoholic patient in room 320 soils his bed sheets again. "I’ve had it!" she proclaimed. "He is an ignorant,...
Nervous Rituals Now Billable As Preventative Care
HEAVERNER, OK - Luck of the Draw Medical Center (LDMC) has been featured on GomerBlog before because of porcelain bedpan incantations proven to ward off bad luck on full moon Friday the 13ths. However, these extreme...
Hospital Builds $100M Gorgeous Atrium Expansion, Nurse Bonuses Cut
CLEVELAND, OH – Mercy Hospital has just completed a new addition to their hospital: a grandiose beautiful atrium. This new expansion is "a beautiful and glorious addition to our fine institution."
The new atrium has spared...
Shaq Mistakes Male Nurse for a Murse
MIAMI, FL – Shaquille O’Neil held a public relations press conference yesterday explaining what led him to carry around a grown man for almost a week.
"I was at a fashionable clothing store and saw this blue...
Empowered Patient University Established, Medical and Nursing Schools Threatened
SAN JOSE, CA – A new university stands proud and tall in the heart of downtown San Jose. Empowered Patient University is enrolling its first class this year. The new university will enroll people...
Little Man Living in Alaris Pump: I’m Lonely
GomerBlog was able to get an exclusive interview with the little man who lives in the Alaris pump, currently in room 2016. “I’m just lonely that’s all,” he told us.
This little man, who wants...
ER Nurses Delighted Not to Have Breaks, According to Managers
SAN JOSE, CA - Chronically overworked ER nurses have complained for months about being overworked. Finally, after months of meetings and discussions new policies have been enacted to address the issues.
Although none of the members of...
Hospital to Employ Empathy Robots to Allow Nurses and Doctors to Chart
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Tired of being treated like a number at big hospitals? Mercy Hospital in San Francisco wants to change that and they think they have the answer. “Here at Mercy Hospital, we...
