Pathology

pathology

Pathology Duty Pager Goes Off Overnight

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SAN DIEGO, CA - In a rare, unexpected occurrence, the pathology duty pager went off at 11 p.m. last night, disturbing the quiet slumber of...
calling pathologist

Calling Pathologists Multiple Times Does Not Expedite Reports, Study Finds

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CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA – A new study sponsored by the College of American Pathologists concluded that there is an inverse correlation between the number of...
angry surgeon

New Study Characterizes Metastatic Potential of Malignant Attendings

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ROCHESTER, NY - Results of a new study have been released which describe for the first time the metastatic potential of malignant attendings.  “We’ve known...

Surgeon Summons the Dark Lord Xepneumotep to Scrub In

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CHANCELOR, NC - Dr. Mathers, a surgical oncologist, decided to take on a pancreatic cancer patient whose cancer had engulfed a large portion of the liver....

American Red Cross Creates American Brown Cross for Fecal Transplant Donations

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WASHINGTON, DC - Despite increasing clinician awareness and education as well as instituting universal gloving procedures, hospital-associated Clostridium difficile infections have continued to be...

New Journal of Negative Studies Announced

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BOSTON, MA - The medical community is abuzz today with the announcement of the new Journal of Negative Studies.  The journal, which will focus...
pathology slide

Pathology Slide Fills Out Poor Satisfaction Survey About Pathologist

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BOCA RATON, FL - Area pathologist Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was informed by Madre De Díos Hospital CEO Chaz Moneybags that his pay will be cut...
blood, pool

Olympic Officials Apologize for Pools Filled with Blood

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RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Rio Olympic officials have once again apologized profusely for all of the Olympic swimming pools being filled with blood...
pathologist

Surgeon Sends Lunch for Frozen Section

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - After visiting the hospital's cafeteria, Dr. Jason Greene seated himself in the surgery staff lounge to enjoy his lunch.  But a...
chemotherapy

FDA Approves Groundbreaking Postmortem Chemotherapy Protocol

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BOCA RATON, FL - Sending shockwaves throughout the medical community, the Food & Drug Administration approved a postmortem chemotherapy regimen to be administered after...