Hospital Morgue Morning Rounds Initiated After Family Insists Patient “is a Fighter”
CODVILLE, CT — Following a 211-day stay at St. Rodger’s Medical Center ICU, including two weeks of uninterrupted asystolic cardiac arrest, patient Joseph Smith,...
Frustrated with Memes, Pathologist Intubates Crashing Covid Patient
We are providing continuing coverage from the BestEver Hospital as the aftermath of this morning’s events unfolds.
“Alright, sure, yeah that might have been how...
Hospital Hires Psychic to Track Pathologists’ Patient Satisfaction
LONG ISLAND, NY - Recent trends in the business of medicine have focused on the patient as the center of care. Accordingly, patient satisfaction scores...
Conspiracy! Powerful Microscope Finds “Made in China” Imprinted on Virus
ATLANTA, GA—Staring for hours at the 500,000x-magnified image of the novel coronavirus under his electron microscope, Dr. Henry Thomson of the CDC just could...
Fourth-Year Medical School Rotations, Here’s the Gouge
As third-year medical students begin to think about scheduling for next year, they must carefully consider how to arrange their final, and arguably most...
Here We Go Again, Pathology Was Left Out of Another Article
GOMERBLOG HQ - Whoops. We really screwed up this time: Pathology was left out of another Gomerblog article. To be specific, THIS ARTICLE. We...
Everyone, We Mean EVERYONE, Bored at Tumor Board
BALTIMORE, MD - With each additional minute that Dr. Parathyrus struggled to log into PACS, the feeling of lethargy in the room became more...
CDC Guidelines Using Pathologists as Model for ‘Extreme Social Distancing’
ATLANTA, GA - With point of care testing for SARS-CoV-2 drastically lagging behind patient demand, experts at the CDC are urging the public to help...
Guy on Motorcycle Looking Forward to Donating His Organs
CALIFORNIA – Harris Jasper, a 3-year rider of a Kawasaki Ninja, or crotch rocket, told friends and family that this year would likely be the year...
Olympic Officials Apologize for Pools Filled with Blood
RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Rio Olympic officials have once again apologized profusely for all of the Olympic swimming pools being filled with blood...