Pathology

blood

Orthopedic Surgeon Celebrates Transfusing Patient to 100% Hematocrit

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DENVER, CO - Ortho spine surgeon Brik Bowers recently set the all-time record by transfusing his post-op patient to a hematocrit of 100%.  Bowers...
pathologist

CDC Guidelines Using Pathologists as Model for ‘Extreme Social Distancing’

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ATLANTA, GA - With point of care testing for SARS-CoV-2 drastically lagging behind patient demand, experts at the CDC are urging the public to help...
blood products

Blood Bank to Require More Paperwork, First-Born Child to Release Blood Products

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GREENSBORO, NC - In an effort to cut down on costly blood product utilization, hospital administrators at Rocky High Hospital have put pressure on...
medical examiner

Medical Examiners Lobby For Law Requiring Forensic Crime Shows To Be In Smell-O-Vision

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WASHINGTON, DC - “An important aspect that pervades every nook and cranny of our career is the putrid stench of rotting human flesh, and...
pathologist

Surgeon Sends Lunch for Frozen Section

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - After visiting the hospital's cafeteria, Dr. Jason Greene seated himself in the surgery staff lounge to enjoy his lunch.  But a...
anesthesiologist intubating

Frustrated with Memes, Pathologist Intubates Crashing Covid Patient

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We are providing continuing coverage from the BestEver Hospital as the aftermath of this morning’s events unfolds. “Alright, sure, yeah that might have been how...
chemotherapy

FDA Approves Groundbreaking Postmortem Chemotherapy Protocol

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BOCA RATON, FL - Sending shockwaves throughout the medical community, the Food & Drug Administration approved a postmortem chemotherapy regimen to be administered after...
premortem autopsy NPO after midnight autopsy

Pathologist Gets Head Start with Premortem Autopsy

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ATLANTA, GA - Inspired by the Food & Drug Administration's recent approval of postmortem chemotherapy, forensic pathologist Thomas Read recently decided to get a...

Resident Fails Rotation for Forgetting to Place TPN Orders by 10 AM

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MIAMI, FL - Mercy Hospital made a decision to fail Dr. Andy Oppenheimer yesterday after he once again forgot to put total parenteral nutrition (TPN) orders...
pathology slide

Pathology Slide Fills Out Poor Satisfaction Survey About Pathologist

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BOCA RATON, FL - Area pathologist Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was informed by Madre De Díos Hospital CEO Chaz Moneybags that his pay will be cut...