Pathology

angry surgeon

New Study Characterizes Metastatic Potential of Malignant Attendings

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ROCHESTER, NY - Results of a new study have been released which describe for the first time the metastatic potential of malignant attendings.  “We’ve known...

Hospitals Now Joining Black Friday Frenzy

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NEW YORK, NY - Black Friday is hitting America very soon.  Stores are now opening their doors almost immediately after millions of Americans finish off eating...
autopsy

Pathologist Makes Patient NPO After Midnight for Autopsy in the Morning

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NASHVILLE, TN - In an effort to minimize aspiration and prevent any further delays in management, forensic pathologist Dr. Jason Martin has made his...
blood

Patient Bleeds to Death, Blood Bank Paperwork Completed Without Errors

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MADISON, WI - GomerBlog regrettable reports about another surgical patient bleeding to death at Community Hospital yesterday.  84-year-old Terrance Billingsworth tragically passed away in the operating room...

Hospital Hires Psychic to Track Pathologists’ Patient Satisfaction

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LONG ISLAND, NY - Recent trends in the business of medicine have focused on the patient as the center of care.  Accordingly, patient satisfaction scores...
anesthesiologist intubating

Frustrated with Memes, Pathologist Intubates Crashing Covid Patient

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We are providing continuing coverage from the BestEver Hospital as the aftermath of this morning’s events unfolds. “Alright, sure, yeah that might have been how...

Pathologists Suffer Third Degree Sun Burns in Hospital Fire Drill

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DALLAS, TX - A routine fire drill at Big Tex Hospital took a turn for the worst, authorities report. At 11:58 AM, the Big Tex Office...
food buffet

Pathologists Running Out of Food (Terms)

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SEATTLE, WA - At the national meeting for pathologists, a packed, plenary session on the impending crisis of pathologic terms was held. For years now,...
hospital workers

Research Indicates All Bleeding Stops Eventually

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BETHESDA, MD - According to sources at the NIH, yes, it is true: all bleeding stops.  This insight came to much relief of general surgery intern,...
screening for cancer

TSA to Start Screening for Colorectal Cancer at Airports

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ATLANTA, GA – U.S. government officials said on Thursday that they would start screening patients for unintentional weight loss and bloody stools, starting with...