Pathologists Find Emotional Scars Also Made of Collagen
CHICAGO, IL - A fascinating new report from the American Society for Clinical Pathology (ASCP) explains emotional scars are actually made up of the...
Hospitals Now Joining Black Friday Frenzy
NEW YORK, NY - Black Friday is hitting America very soon. Stores are now opening their doors almost immediately after millions of Americans finish off eating...
Hospital Morgue Morning Rounds Initiated After Family Insists Patient “is a Fighter”
CODVILLE, CT — Following a 211-day stay at St. Rodger’s Medical Center ICU, including two weeks of uninterrupted asystolic cardiac arrest, patient Joseph Smith,...
Hospital Hires Psychic to Track Pathologists’ Patient Satisfaction
LONG ISLAND, NY - Recent trends in the business of medicine have focused on the patient as the center of care. Accordingly, patient satisfaction scores...
CDC Guidelines Using Pathologists as Model for ‘Extreme Social Distancing’
ATLANTA, GA - With point of care testing for SARS-CoV-2 drastically lagging behind patient demand, experts at the CDC are urging the public to help...
Surprise! Ridiculously Restrictive Transfusion Threshold of Zero Associated with Death
BOSTON, MA - In a truly eye-opening study published in the New England Journal of Medicine, the results of which no one could have...
Placenta Accidentally Sent to Hospital Cafeteria
ATLANTA, GA – Officials at Atlanta Health Cardiac Hospital (AHCH) regrettably informed the public about a terrible mix-up that occurred yesterday. 24-year-old Amy Fairbanks gave birth...
Surgeon Summons the Dark Lord Xepneumotep to Scrub In
CHANCELOR, NC - Dr. Mathers, a surgical oncologist, decided to take on a pancreatic cancer patient whose cancer had engulfed a large portion of the liver....
Medical Specialties as Harry Potter Characters
Dolores Umbridge, Corenelius Fudge, Percy Weasley- Administration- you operate on a sliding scale of likability and we aren’t sure if you’re evil, rigid, or...
Pathology Duty Pager Goes Off Overnight
SAN DIEGO, CA - In a rare, unexpected occurrence, the pathology duty pager went off at 11 p.m. last night, disturbing the quiet slumber of...