red blood cells

Alternative Blood Bank Offers Homeopathic Blood Products

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PORTLAND, OR - More and more primary care physicians have been embracing the curative powers of alternative medicine in their practice.  Unfortunately, few options...

Pathologists Suffer Third Degree Sun Burns in Hospital Fire Drill

0
DALLAS, TX - A routine fire drill at Big Tex Hospital took a turn for the worst, authorities report. At 11:58 AM, the Big Tex Office...
pathology

Dermatopathologist Unable to “Rule Out Pathology” on Skin Biopsy

0
NEW YORK, NY - After nearly six months of work up, local dermatopathologist Dr. Jerry Smith finally has to admit defeat. He simply can...
blood

Orthopedic Surgeon Celebrates Transfusing Patient to 100% Hematocrit

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DENVER, CO - Ortho spine surgeon Brik Bowers recently set the all-time record by transfusing his post-op patient to a hematocrit of 100%.  Bowers...
lab tests

Local Woman: ‘I Need All My Labs Drawn’

1
EAST LANSING, MI – Local patient Sheryl Harris came to clinic today with a chief complaint of "I need all my labs drawn." When questioned...

New Journal of Negative Studies Announced

0
BOSTON, MA - The medical community is abuzz today with the announcement of the new Journal of Negative Studies.  The journal, which will focus...
pathologist

Surgeon Sends Lunch for Frozen Section

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - After visiting the hospital's cafeteria, Dr. Jason Greene seated himself in the surgery staff lounge to enjoy his lunch.  But a...
ridiculously restrictive transfusion

Surprise! Ridiculously Restrictive Transfusion Threshold of Zero Associated with Death

0
BOSTON, MA - In a truly eye-opening study published in the New England Journal of Medicine, the results of which no one could have...
hospital workers

Research Indicates All Bleeding Stops Eventually

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BETHESDA, MD - According to sources at the NIH, yes, it is true: all bleeding stops.  This insight came to much relief of general surgery intern,...