Pathology

Pathologists Suffer Third Degree Sun Burns in Hospital Fire Drill

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DALLAS, TX - A routine fire drill at Big Tex Hospital took a turn for the worst, authorities report. At 11:58 AM, the Big Tex Office...

Fourth-Year Medical School Rotations, Here’s the Gouge

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As third-year medical students begin to think about scheduling for next year, they must carefully consider how to arrange their final, and arguably most...
medical examiner

Medical Examiners Lobby For Law Requiring Forensic Crime Shows To Be In Smell-O-Vision

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WASHINGTON, DC - “An important aspect that pervades every nook and cranny of our career is the putrid stench of rotting human flesh, and...
hospital workers

Research Indicates All Bleeding Stops Eventually

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BETHESDA, MD - According to sources at the NIH, yes, it is true: all bleeding stops.  This insight came to much relief of general surgery intern,...
emotional scar collagen

Pathologists Find Emotional Scars Also Made of Collagen

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CHICAGO, IL - A fascinating new report from the American Society for Clinical Pathology (ASCP) explains emotional scars are actually made up of the...
hats

How Many Different Hats Can a Medical Provider Wear?

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It's not uncommon in modern medicine for any given health care provider, whether it's a nurse, PA, or doctor, to have multiple roles or...

Conspiracy! Powerful Microscope Finds “Made in China” Imprinted on Virus

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ATLANTA, GA—Staring for hours at the 500,000x-magnified image of the novel coronavirus under his electron microscope, Dr. Henry Thomson of the CDC just could...

Resident Fails Rotation for Forgetting to Place TPN Orders by 10 AM

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MIAMI, FL - Mercy Hospital made a decision to fail Dr. Andy Oppenheimer yesterday after he once again forgot to put total parenteral nutrition (TPN) orders...
pathologist

CDC Guidelines Using Pathologists as Model for ‘Extreme Social Distancing’

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ATLANTA, GA - With point of care testing for SARS-CoV-2 drastically lagging behind patient demand, experts at the CDC are urging the public to help...
anesthesiologist intubating

Frustrated with Memes, Pathologist Intubates Crashing Covid Patient

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We are providing continuing coverage from the BestEver Hospital as the aftermath of this morning’s events unfolds. “Alright, sure, yeah that might have been how...