Hospital Morgue Morning Rounds Initiated After Family Insists Patient “is a Fighter”
CODVILLE, CT — Following a 211-day stay at St. Rodger’s Medical Center ICU, including two weeks of uninterrupted asystolic cardiac arrest, patient Joseph Smith,...
Physicians Hold Drexit Vote, Doctors Exit Medicine
KANSAS CITY, KS - A large, synchronous exhale was heard this morning as the results of Drexit, or Doctors Exiting Medicine, came in. Millions of...
Local Woman: ‘I Need All My Labs Drawn’
EAST LANSING, MI – Local patient Sheryl Harris came to clinic today with a chief complaint of "I need all my labs drawn."
When questioned...
Nurses Have Stethoscopes: What Do You Think?
The philosophical TV show, The View, recently discussed the recent Miss America pageant. Two of the hosts were very critical of Miss Colorado with...
New Study Characterizes Metastatic Potential of Malignant Attendings
ROCHESTER, NY - Results of a new study have been released which describe for the first time the metastatic potential of malignant attendings. “We’ve known...
Pathology Slide Fills Out Poor Satisfaction Survey About Pathologist
BOCA RATON, FL - Area pathologist Dr. Sri-Sheshadariprativadibayankaram was informed by Madre De Díos Hospital CEO Chaz Moneybags that his pay will be cut...
CDC Guidelines Using Pathologists as Model for ‘Extreme Social Distancing’
ATLANTA, GA - With point of care testing for SARS-CoV-2 drastically lagging behind patient demand, experts at the CDC are urging the public to help...
Placenta Accidentally Sent to Hospital Cafeteria
ATLANTA, GA – Officials at Atlanta Health Cardiac Hospital (AHCH) regrettably informed the public about a terrible mix-up that occurred yesterday. 24-year-old Amy Fairbanks gave birth...
Medical Examiners Lobby For Law Requiring Forensic Crime Shows To Be In Smell-O-Vision
WASHINGTON, DC - “An important aspect that pervades every nook and cranny of our career is the putrid stench of rotting human flesh, and...