Surgeon Summons the Dark Lord Xepneumotep to Scrub In
CHANCELOR, NC - Dr. Mathers, a surgical oncologist, decided to take on a pancreatic cancer patient whose cancer had engulfed a large portion of the liver....
Resident Fails Rotation for Forgetting to Place TPN Orders by 10 AM
MIAMI, FL - Mercy Hospital made a decision to fail Dr. Andy Oppenheimer yesterday after he once again forgot to put total parenteral nutrition (TPN) orders...
Fourth-Year Medical School Rotations, Here’s the Gouge
As third-year medical students begin to think about scheduling for next year, they must carefully consider how to arrange their final, and arguably most...
CDC Guidelines Using Pathologists as Model for ‘Extreme Social Distancing’
ATLANTA, GA - With point of care testing for SARS-CoV-2 drastically lagging behind patient demand, experts at the CDC are urging the public to help...
Olympic Officials Apologize for Pools Filled with Blood
RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Rio Olympic officials have once again apologized profusely for all of the Olympic swimming pools being filled with blood...
Pathologist Gets Head Start with Premortem Autopsy
ATLANTA, GA - Inspired by the Food & Drug Administration's recent approval of postmortem chemotherapy, forensic pathologist Thomas Read recently decided to get a...
Orthopedic Surgeon Celebrates Transfusing Patient to 100% Hematocrit
DENVER, CO - Ortho spine surgeon Brik Bowers recently set the all-time record by transfusing his post-op patient to a hematocrit of 100%. Bowers...
Nurses Have Stethoscopes: What Do You Think?
The philosophical TV show, The View, recently discussed the recent Miss America pageant. Two of the hosts were very critical of Miss Colorado with...
Medical Specialties as Game of Thrones Characters
As all medical specialties try to gain control of the hospital, we've narrowed down who their characters are:
Cardiology, you poor tortured soul with a...