Pathology

blood, pool

Olympic Officials Apologize for Pools Filled with Blood

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RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Rio Olympic officials have once again apologized profusely for all of the Olympic swimming pools being filled with blood...

Hospital Hires Psychic to Track Pathologists’ Patient Satisfaction

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LONG ISLAND, NY - Recent trends in the business of medicine have focused on the patient as the center of care.  Accordingly, patient satisfaction scores...

Everyone, We Mean EVERYONE, Bored at Tumor Board

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BALTIMORE, MD - With each additional minute that Dr. Parathyrus struggled to log into PACS, the feeling of lethargy in the room became more...
ridiculously restrictive transfusion

Surprise! Ridiculously Restrictive Transfusion Threshold of Zero Associated with Death

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BOSTON, MA - In a truly eye-opening study published in the New England Journal of Medicine, the results of which no one could have...
hats

How Many Different Hats Can a Medical Provider Wear?

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It's not uncommon in modern medicine for any given health care provider, whether it's a nurse, PA, or doctor, to have multiple roles or...

Fourth-Year Medical School Rotations, Here’s the Gouge

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As third-year medical students begin to think about scheduling for next year, they must carefully consider how to arrange their final, and arguably most...
endless loop

Pathology and Radiology Reports Recommend Correlation with Each Other, Endless Loop Ensues

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BOSTON, MA – The ICU team of a local area hospital had struggled for days with an increasingly slow EMR for one particular patient. “At...
blood products

Blood Bank to Require More Paperwork, First-Born Child to Release Blood Products

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GREENSBORO, NC - In an effort to cut down on costly blood product utilization, hospital administrators at Rocky High Hospital have put pressure on...
anesthesiologist intubating

Frustrated with Memes, Pathologist Intubates Crashing Covid Patient

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We are providing continuing coverage from the BestEver Hospital as the aftermath of this morning’s events unfolds. “Alright, sure, yeah that might have been how...