Pathology

Pathologists Suffer Third Degree Sun Burns in Hospital Fire Drill

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DALLAS, TX - A routine fire drill at Big Tex Hospital took a turn for the worst, authorities report. At 11:58 AM, the Big Tex Office...
anesthesiologist intubating

Frustrated with Memes, Pathologist Intubates Crashing Covid Patient

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We are providing continuing coverage from the BestEver Hospital as the aftermath of this morning’s events unfolds. “Alright, sure, yeah that might have been how...

Conspiracy! Powerful Microscope Finds “Made in China” Imprinted on Virus

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ATLANTA, GA—Staring for hours at the 500,000x-magnified image of the novel coronavirus under his electron microscope, Dr. Henry Thomson of the CDC just could...

Hospital Hires Psychic to Track Pathologists’ Patient Satisfaction

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LONG ISLAND, NY - Recent trends in the business of medicine have focused on the patient as the center of care.  Accordingly, patient satisfaction scores...

ED Consults Pathology on Acute Abdomen Just to “Make Them Aware”

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SANTE FE, NM - Emergency Medicine attending physician, Dr. Edith Lin, believes in a proactive and multidisciplinary approach to patient management.  When a 46-year-old woman...
angry surgeon

New Study Characterizes Metastatic Potential of Malignant Attendings

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ROCHESTER, NY - Results of a new study have been released which describe for the first time the metastatic potential of malignant attendings.  “We’ve known...
medical examiner

Medical Examiners Lobby For Law Requiring Forensic Crime Shows To Be In Smell-O-Vision

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WASHINGTON, DC - “An important aspect that pervades every nook and cranny of our career is the putrid stench of rotting human flesh, and...

Interventional Radiology Performs CT-Guided Chart Biopsy

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RICHMOND, VA - History was made yesterday at Richmond Medical Center, as an interventional radiology (IR) team led by Dr. John Johnston-Johnson performed the...

Lost Your Car in the Hospital Garage? Order a Consult

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If it has happened once, it has happened a million times: you forgot where you parked.  It is the end of the day and...
food buffet

Pathologists Running Out of Food (Terms)

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SEATTLE, WA - At the national meeting for pathologists, a packed, plenary session on the impending crisis of pathologic terms was held. For years now,...