Lost Your Car in the Hospital Garage? Order a Consult
If it has happened once, it has happened a million times: you forgot where you parked. It is the end of the day and...
TSA to Start Screening for Colorectal Cancer at Airports
ATLANTA, GA – U.S. government officials said on Thursday that they would start screening patients for unintentional weight loss and bloody stools, starting with...
Surgeon Sends Lunch for Frozen Section
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - After visiting the hospital's cafeteria, Dr. Jason Greene seated himself in the surgery staff lounge to enjoy his lunch. But a...
New Study Characterizes Metastatic Potential of Malignant Attendings
ROCHESTER, NY - Results of a new study have been released which describe for the first time the metastatic potential of malignant attendings. “We’ve known...
Interventional Radiology Performs CT-Guided Chart Biopsy
RICHMOND, VA - History was made yesterday at Richmond Medical Center, as an interventional radiology (IR) team led by Dr. John Johnston-Johnson performed the...
Surprise! Ridiculously Restrictive Transfusion Threshold of Zero Associated with Death
BOSTON, MA - In a truly eye-opening study published in the New England Journal of Medicine, the results of which no one could have...
Olympic Officials Apologize for Pools Filled with Blood
RIO DE JANEIRO, BRAZIL - Rio Olympic officials have once again apologized profusely for all of the Olympic swimming pools being filled with blood...
Fourth-Year Medical School Rotations, Here’s the Gouge
As third-year medical students begin to think about scheduling for next year, they must carefully consider how to arrange their final, and arguably most...
Research Indicates All Bleeding Stops Eventually
BETHESDA, MD - According to sources at the NIH, yes, it is true: all bleeding stops. This insight came to much relief of general surgery intern,...
Pathologists Suffer Third Degree Sun Burns in Hospital Fire Drill
DALLAS, TX - A routine fire drill at Big Tex Hospital took a turn for the worst, authorities report.
At 11:58 AM, the Big Tex Office...