Monday, February 8, 2021

Pathology

Fourth-Year Medical School Rotations, Here’s the Gouge

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As third-year medical students begin to think about scheduling for next year, they must carefully consider how to arrange their final, and arguably most important, year of medical education. “This is the year right before...

Conspiracy! Powerful Microscope Finds “Made in China” Imprinted on Virus

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ATLANTA, GA—Staring for hours at the 500,000x-magnified image of the novel coronavirus under his electron microscope, Dr. Henry Thomson of the CDC just could not believe his startling discovery: Imprinted at the base of...

Guy on Motorcycle Looking Forward to Donating His Organs

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CALIFORNIA – Harris Jasper, a 3-year rider of a Kawasaki Ninja, or crotch rocket, told friends and family that this year would likely be the year he would donate "most of his vital organs to people...
pathology

Dermatopathologist Unable to “Rule Out Pathology” on Skin Biopsy

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NEW YORK, NY - After nearly six months of work up, local dermatopathologist Dr. Jerry Smith finally has to admit defeat. He simply can not completely rule out pathology. "It's a difficult situation," says Smith....

Fancy Medical Terms and What They Really Mean

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Nurses and doctors use fancy words to communicate and sound smart before patients, families and each other. Having spent most of his adult life in the hospital, Livin La Vida Locum, M.D. shares the...
angry surgeon

New Study Characterizes Metastatic Potential of Malignant Attendings

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ROCHESTER, NY - Results of a new study have been released which describe for the first time the metastatic potential of malignant attendings.  “We’ve known for years that these malignancies were locally aggressive,” says lead...

Hospitals Now Joining Black Friday Frenzy

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NEW YORK, NY - Black Friday is hitting America very soon.  Stores are now opening their doors almost immediately after millions of Americans finish off eating their pies on Thanksgiving Day where only the chosen are able...
pathologist

Pathologist Performing Autopsy Requests More Tissue

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Internal medicine resident, Dr. Cynthia Talbot, was surprised to receive a call from pathology about her patient.  It had only been three months since she had requested an autopsy, surely they...

Surgeon Summons the Dark Lord Xepneumotep to Scrub In

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CHANCELOR, NC - Dr. Mathers, a surgical oncologist, decided to take on a pancreatic cancer patient whose cancer had engulfed a large portion of the liver.  This particular surgery is one of the most difficult procedures...
blood

Orthopedic Surgeon Celebrates Transfusing Patient to 100% Hematocrit

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DENVER, CO - Ortho spine surgeon Brik Bowers recently set the all-time record by transfusing his post-op patient to a hematocrit of 100%.  Bowers was found at his victory party, galloping around the room,...