Pharmacy

wine pairs

Hospital Replaces Pharmacists with “Narcotic Sommeliers”

0
SANTA CLARA, CA - A Bay Area hospital is making a bold move to improve patient satisfaction, as last week its staff pharmacists were...
hospital administrators

Hospital Renamed “Our Lady of Perpetual Shortage”

0
In honor of recent supply chain deficiencies, FDA recalls, as well as loss of manufacturing capabilities from recent environmental disasters in Puerto Rico and...

Horse Veterinarian-Turned-Physician Prescribing Too Many Large Pills and Euthanasia

6
BALTIMORE, MD – Former top equine veterinarian for race horses and now turned top physician, Dr. Zack Berger of Johns Hopkins, has been called out...
Medical center

Medicine Changed Forever After Dr. Google Granted Prescriptive Authority

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Medicine will be changed forever after yesterday's ruling allowing online medical symptom checker sites, including Dr. Google, to prescribe medications. "We plan...
Gas-X brain farts

Neurologists Recommend Gas-X for Treatment of Brain Farts

0
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - The American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has updated their guidelines for the diagnosis and management of brain farts, a condition characterized...

Tips: How to Pronounce a Difficult Drug Name Without Choking, Aspirating, Dying

0
Last month, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (“The” FDA) approved the efficacious and unpronounceable idarucizumab (also known, thankfully, as Praxbind) to reverse the...
salmon eggs

Protamine Shortage Amid Strike at Salmon Sperm Acquisition Factory

4
DALLAS, TX - Add another to the list: protamine.  This antidote to heparin is on national shortage and warnings are being issued to hospitals...

Shark Attack Victim Denied Narcotics

0
PENSACOLA BEACH, FL - Skip Sanders alternated between spearfishing and surfing, depending on the waves.  Yesterday, an errant harpoon from his spear gun grazed...
unicorn

Investigation Reveals Dilaudid Manufactured From Unicorn Tears

0
Reports from a three year long undercover investigation reveal that Pharmagen has been manufacturing dilaudid using a tremendous volume of unicorn tears. The 3,000...

Narc Madness

0
It's that time of year, time to pick your favorite narcotic and see if it will make it to the final 4!  This year...