Pharmacy

salmon eggs

Protamine Shortage Amid Strike at Salmon Sperm Acquisition Factory

4
DALLAS, TX - Add another to the list: protamine.  This antidote to heparin is on national shortage and warnings are being issued to hospitals...
Bananas

Physician Shocked to Learn Banana Bags Not Made with Real Fruit

0
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Local hospitalist Marcel Beignet was shocked and aghast to learn from colleagues today that banana bags, which are used to...

Most Popular Medical Questions of 2016 by State

0
2016 is complete, and we combed through the data at Google to find out what were the most popular medical questions asked by state...
unicorn

Investigation Reveals Dilaudid Manufactured From Unicorn Tears

0
Reports from a three year long undercover investigation reveal that Pharmagen has been manufacturing dilaudid using a tremendous volume of unicorn tears. The 3,000...
orthopedic surgeon orthopedics orthopaedics

Breaking News: Orthopod Catches Dosing Error

0
BOSTON, MA - Rotating Orthopedics 4th year resident, Dr. Brandt Sullivan, caught a medication error at Boston Children’s Hospital two nights ago. Dr. Sullivan...

OxyContin Named Tennessee Official State Drug

0
Republished with permission from The Placebo Journal. NASHVILLE, TN (PJ) - Tennessee lawmakers unanimously approved a motion Friday to name “OxyContin” (TM) the state’s official...
staph staff

Staph Aureus Bacterium Ridiculed by for Still Being Sensitive to Methicillin

0
A single, sad Staph Aureus bacterium has been shunned from its colony for still being sensitive to methicillin in the year 2019. “Apparently it didn’t...
African child

African Child Tragically Unaware He Has ‘Marker Negative Mixed Connective Tissue Disorder’‏

0
MAUN, BOTSWANA - A desperately impoverished 6-year-old boy in Sub-Saharan Africa lacks the access to medical care which could properly diagnose his "Marker Negative...
dilaudid

Report: Nurse on 3rd Floor Excited to Give 0.1 mg of Dilaudid

12
CHICAGO, IL – Local nurse Melissa Jacobson’s shift just got better when she noticed what was written for pain medication on her patient. “Oh,...

Drug Dealer Makes Seamless Transition to Pharmaceutical Sales Rep

1
THE BLOCK, USA - Rarely does a multiple felon make a career comeback - apart from athletes, rappers, bankers, politicians, law enforcement officers, and anyone in the 1%...