Full-Strength Aspirin Now 331 Milligrams to Adjust for Inflation
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) in conjunction with the U.S. Department of the Treasury have reported that they have increased...
Medical Specialties as Harry Potter Characters
Dolores Umbridge, Corenelius Fudge, Percy Weasley- Administration- you operate on a sliding scale of likability and we aren’t sure if you’re evil, rigid, or...
Physician Shocked to Learn Banana Bags Not Made with Real Fruit
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Local hospitalist Marcel Beignet was shocked and aghast to learn from colleagues today that banana bags, which are used to...
Doctorate of Pharmacy Programs to Add CVS, Walgreens Rewards Card Education Requirement
WASHINGTON, DC - As a result of successful congressional lobbying efforts by the “big corner drug store” lobby, doctorate of pharmacy programs nationwide will...
New Drug Company “Big Pharma” releases full range of Placebos
Despite being one of the most studied medications there has never been a range of placebos released onto the market. The newly launched Pharmaceutical...
EpiPen Users Develop Shock Over EpiPen Prices: Treatment, More EpiPens
WASHINGTON, DC - Numerous cases of EpiPen Price Gouging Shock (EPGS) are sweeping the nation after EpiPen prices continue to be hiked up by...
RxCupid a New Dating Site for Patients
PALO ALTO, CA - A new dating site has received its initial funding, called RxCupid. The website tries to match the perfect patients together....
Patient Can’t Pronounce Metoprolol, Electively Intubated
RICHMOND, VA - Patient Mary Andrews, a 52-year-old female with atrial fibrillation tried to pronounce the beta blocker “metoprolol” earlier this morning. She found...
Red Line in Medication Room Replaced with Crocodile-Filled Moat
BOSTON, MA - Any nurse who has dispensed medications knows the ubiquitous red line, in the medication room, near the Pyxis machine. This is a...
Woohoo!! Scientists Discover Sodium Tricarb!!
BETHESDA, MD - Look out, everyone, things just got real exciting! Scientists have made a discovery that is sure to change the face of medicine...