Local Doctor Consults Sauron to Create the One Pill to Cure Them All
“I was at my wits’ end with these chronic pain patients,” Local doctor Fro Doe told reporters. “They keep coming in over and over...
Full-Strength Aspirin Now 331 Milligrams to Adjust for Inflation
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) in conjunction with the U.S. Department of the Treasury have reported that they have increased...
Meet Dilaudicillin the Groundbreaking New Narcotic/Antibiotic Combo that has Patient Satisfaction Scores Through the...
In the era of Press-Ganey scores, most physicians have finally accepted that they are essentially waiters whose job is to serve the every whim...
Patient Can’t Pronounce Metoprolol, Electively Intubated
RICHMOND, VA - Patient Mary Andrews, a 52-year-old female with atrial fibrillation tried to pronounce the beta blocker “metoprolol” earlier this morning. She found...
Pyxis Machine Dispenses Broken Glass Dilaudid Ampule, Laughs on the Inside
CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA - GomerBlog brings breaking news regarding those fragile glass fentanyl and Dilaudid ampules in the Pyxis machine. Apparently the machine enjoys dispensing medications with a...
Medical School to Replace Pharmacology Course with Coloring Books
In a school-wide email to faculty and students, Dean Giles announced the introduction of a new course replacing existing pharmacology classes.
Stating that patients are...
Protamine Shortage Amid Strike at Salmon Sperm Acquisition Factory
DALLAS, TX - Add another to the list: protamine. This antidote to heparin is on national shortage and warnings are being issued to hospitals...
Woohoo!! Scientists Discover Sodium Tricarb!!
BETHESDA, MD - Look out, everyone, things just got real exciting! Scientists have made a discovery that is sure to change the face of medicine...
Hospital Renamed “Our Lady of Perpetual Shortage”
In honor of recent supply chain deficiencies, FDA recalls, as well as loss of manufacturing capabilities from recent environmental disasters in Puerto Rico and...
Patient Dies When Nurse Unable To Scan Epinephrine Vial at Code
FORT WAYNE, IN - A nurse’s worst nightmare occurred tonight at Lincoln Memorial Hospital in Fort Wayne. A code blue was called overhead and...