Pharmacy

Patient Can’t Pronounce Metoprolol, Electively Intubated

0
RICHMOND, VA - Patient Mary Andrews, a 52-year-old female with atrial fibrillation tried to pronounce the beta blocker “metoprolol” earlier this morning.  She found...
aspirin 331 mg inflation

Full-Strength Aspirin Now 331 Milligrams to Adjust for Inflation

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) in conjunction with the U.S. Department of the Treasury have reported that they have increased...

Shark Attack Victim Denied Narcotics

0
PENSACOLA BEACH, FL - Skip Sanders alternated between spearfishing and surfing, depending on the waves.  Yesterday, an errant harpoon from his spear gun grazed...
Pfizer box of medications

Pfizer Releases Box of Assorted Medications for Valentine’s Day

0
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Pharmaceutical giant Pfizer has announced plans to release a limited-edition box of assorted medications in time for Valentine’s Day.  The...
Bananas

Physician Shocked to Learn Banana Bags Not Made with Real Fruit

0
NEW ORLEANS, LA - Local hospitalist Marcel Beignet was shocked and aghast to learn from colleagues today that banana bags, which are used to...
doctor prescribing

Doctor’s Last Drug-Rep Pen Running Out of Ink, Future Prescription Decisions Uncertain

37
CRANQUISVILLE, USA - The Affordable Care Act of 2010 brought many changes to the US healthcare (insurance) system, and doctors have already felt the...
unicorn

Investigation Reveals Dilaudid Manufactured From Unicorn Tears

0
Reports from a three year long undercover investigation reveal that Pharmagen has been manufacturing dilaudid using a tremendous volume of unicorn tears. The 3,000...

Patient Holding $1000 new iPhone X Very Upset About $5 Prescription CoPay

0
LA JOLLA, CA – Natalia Miller could not understand what the idiots at the La Jolla Primary Care Clinic and Botox Salon didn’t get...
banana bag

Unsure What’s a Banana Bag, Pharmacist Just Bags a Bunch of Bananas

0
HONOLULU, HI - New pharmacist Aaron Prior-Auth admits he was flustered when nurse practitioner Karen Kaufmann called him up to get a "banana bag,...

Dr. Oz is Right: “The Miracle Pill” is for Real

0
A world-renowned TV celebrity physician Dr. Oz unraveled the mystery behind “The Miracle Pill.”  “This sh** is for real,” says Dr. Oz while throwing...