Shark Attack Victim Denied Narcotics
PENSACOLA BEACH, FL - Skip Sanders alternated between spearfishing and surfing, depending on the waves. Yesterday, an errant harpoon from his spear gun grazed...
Medicine Changed Forever After Dr. Google Granted Prescriptive Authority
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Medicine will be changed forever after yesterday's ruling allowing online medical symptom checker sites, including Dr. Google, to prescribe medications.
"We plan...
Neurologists Recommend Gas-X for Treatment of Brain Farts
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - The American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has updated their guidelines for the diagnosis and management of brain farts, a condition characterized...
Night Float Intern Boldly Chooses Non-Vanc/Zosyn Empiric Antibiotic Regimen
DALLAS, TX - Night calls can be a scary thing for new interns. Everything from blood pressures of 170/80 and sleeping pill requests in...
Patient Can’t Pronounce Metoprolol, Electively Intubated
RICHMOND, VA - Patient Mary Andrews, a 52-year-old female with atrial fibrillation tried to pronounce the beta blocker “metoprolol” earlier this morning. She found...
Starbucks Offering Frappuccino Drips for a Limited Time
SEATTLE, WA - To help mitigate caffeine withdrawal in its hospitalized customers, Starbucks will be partnering with inpatient pharmacies for a limited time to...
Medical Specialties as Harry Potter Characters
Dolores Umbridge, Corenelius Fudge, Percy Weasley- Administration- you operate on a sliding scale of likability and we aren’t sure if you’re evil, rigid, or...
Staph Aureus Bacterium Ridiculed by for Still Being Sensitive to Methicillin
A single, sad Staph Aureus bacterium has been shunned from its colony for still being sensitive to methicillin in the year 2019.
“Apparently it didn’t...
New Female Libido Pill to Hit Shelves
ATLANTA, GA - A new female libido pill is expected to hit shelves this week called Pamper. The pill is designed to put that flame...
After Being Given 200 mg of IV Lasix, Patient Urinating from Eyeballs
LOUISVILLE, KY - After receiving a whopping dose of Lasix (furosemide) IV just within the past 20 minutes, Tina O’Rourke has informed those closest...