Pharmacy

staph staff

Staph Aureus Bacterium Ridiculed by for Still Being Sensitive to Methicillin

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A single, sad Staph Aureus bacterium has been shunned from its colony for still being sensitive to methicillin in the year 2019. “Apparently it didn’t...

New Dating Website ‘Just Pharmacists’ Proven to Reduce Cardiomyopathy

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For many a lonely pharmacist, the only drug in critical shortage is love. Now, thanks to the makers of such successes as Ashley Madison,...
afternoon after

FDA Approves Afternoon-After Pill

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INTERCOURSE, PA - “Let’s face it: no one is getting up in the morning after an accident,” said a representative from the Food and Drug Administration...
heparin bridge 85

I-85 in Atlanta is Finally Therapeutic, Heparin Bridge D/C’d

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ATLANTA, GA - Gomerblog is excited to report that I-85 in Atlanta, which collapsed 6 weeks ago for reasons that can likely be blamed...
dilaudid

Report: Nurse on 3rd Floor Excited to Give 0.1 mg of Dilaudid

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CHICAGO, IL – Local nurse Melissa Jacobson’s shift just got better when she noticed what was written for pain medication on her patient. “Oh,...

Local Doctor Consults Sauron to Create the One Pill to Cure Them All

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“I was at my wits’ end with these chronic pain patients,” Local doctor Fro Doe told reporters. “They keep coming in over and over...
dr evil

Pharmaceutical Company Buys Out Another 20 Generic Drugs, Decides to Raise Drug Prices to…...

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DAYTON, OH - CEO of Turing Pharmaceuticals Martin Shkreli made another bold announcement today that his pharmaceutical company has now bought rights for 20 more...

Tips: How to Pronounce a Difficult Drug Name Without Choking, Aspirating, Dying

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Last month, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (“The” FDA) approved the efficacious and unpronounceable idarucizumab (also known, thankfully, as Praxbind) to reverse the...
work burnout

FDA approves first novel drug to treat medical burnout

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TWISP, WA - The US Food and Drug Administration today approved Peaceaudi (Idongivafumab) injection for intravenous use for the treatment of medical burnout. “Medical burnout...

Drug Dealer Makes Seamless Transition to Pharmaceutical Sales Rep

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THE BLOCK, USA - Rarely does a multiple felon make a career comeback - apart from athletes, rappers, bankers, politicians, law enforcement officers, and anyone in the 1%...