Pharmacy

African child

African Child Tragically Unaware He Has ‘Marker Negative Mixed Connective Tissue Disorder’‏

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MAUN, BOTSWANA - A desperately impoverished 6-year-old boy in Sub-Saharan Africa lacks the access to medical care which could properly diagnose his "Marker Negative...

Simple Solution to Medication Non-Adherence: Get Patients Addicted to Their Medicine

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BLUNT, SD—An innovative physician fed up with patients who don’t take their medications as prescribed has successfully lobbied Congress and pharmaceutical companies to adopt...

New Drug Company “Big Pharma” releases full range of Placebos

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Despite being one of the most studied medications there has never been a range of placebos released onto the market. The newly launched Pharmaceutical...
polypharmacy

MegaPharm Introduces New Pill to Treat Polypharmacy

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NEW YORK, NY - In a bid to capture even more market share in the growing cohort of Americans taking more than ten scheduled...
aspirin 331 mg inflation

Full-Strength Aspirin Now 331 Milligrams to Adjust for Inflation

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The Food & Drug Administration (FDA) in conjunction with the U.S. Department of the Treasury have reported that they have increased...
heparin bridge 85

I-85 in Atlanta is Finally Therapeutic, Heparin Bridge D/C’d

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ATLANTA, GA - Gomerblog is excited to report that I-85 in Atlanta, which collapsed 6 weeks ago for reasons that can likely be blamed...

Ortho Outraged Pharmacy Doesn’t Carry Methicillin, Wonders How to Treat Patient with MSSA

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WOONSOCKET, RI - Despite numerous cultures coming back as Methicillin Sensitive Staph aureus, most pharmacies no longer carry the ancient antibiotic. This hasn't been an...
Pyxis machine broken glass

Pyxis Machine Dispenses Broken Glass Dilaudid Ampule, Laughs on the Inside

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CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA - GomerBlog brings breaking news regarding those fragile glass fentanyl and Dilaudid ampules in the Pyxis machine.  Apparently the machine enjoys dispensing medications with a...
Medical center

Medicine Changed Forever After Dr. Google Granted Prescriptive Authority

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Medicine will be changed forever after yesterday's ruling allowing online medical symptom checker sites, including Dr. Google, to prescribe medications. "We plan...

Local Doctor Consults Sauron to Create the One Pill to Cure Them All

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“I was at my wits’ end with these chronic pain patients,” Local doctor Fro Doe told reporters. “They keep coming in over and over...