Patient Can’t Pronounce Metoprolol, Electively Intubated
RICHMOND, VA - Patient Mary Andrews, a 52-year-old female with atrial fibrillation tried to pronounce the beta blocker “metoprolol” earlier this morning. She found...
Ortho Outraged Pharmacy Doesn’t Carry Methicillin, Wonders How to Treat Patient with MSSA
WOONSOCKET, RI - Despite numerous cultures coming back as Methicillin Sensitive Staph aureus, most pharmacies no longer carry the ancient antibiotic.
This hasn't been an...
Drug Prices Outta Control: Man Spends 3 Months’ Salary on Vaginal Contraceptive Ring for...
INTERCOURSE, PA—The great Beyoncé once never said, “If you didn’t want it, you shoulda put a ring in it.” As everyone surely doesn’t remember,...
Meet Dilaudicillin the Groundbreaking New Narcotic/Antibiotic Combo that has Patient Satisfaction Scores Through the...
In the era of Press-Ganey scores, most physicians have finally accepted that they are essentially waiters whose job is to serve the every whim...
MegaPharm Introduces New Pill to Treat Polypharmacy
NEW YORK, NY - In a bid to capture even more market share in the growing cohort of Americans taking more than ten scheduled...
Patient Holding $1000 new iPhone X Very Upset About $5 Prescription CoPay
LA JOLLA, CA – Natalia Miller could not understand what the idiots at the La Jolla Primary Care Clinic and Botox Salon didn’t get...
Patient Dies When Nurse Unable To Scan Epinephrine Vial at Code
FORT WAYNE, IN - A nurse’s worst nightmare occurred tonight at Lincoln Memorial Hospital in Fort Wayne. A code blue was called overhead and...
Unsure What’s a Banana Bag, Pharmacist Just Bags a Bunch of Bananas
HONOLULU, HI - New pharmacist Aaron Prior-Auth admits he was flustered when nurse practitioner Karen Kaufmann called him up to get a "banana bag,...
Fifth Season of Netflix’s ‘Narcos’ To Be Set In Washington, D.C.
SCOTTS VALLEY, CA - Seasons 1 through 3 chronicled the drug trade through Columbia, Season 4 is poised to go to Mexico, and it...
Drug Dealer Makes Seamless Transition to Pharmaceutical Sales Rep
THE BLOCK, USA - Rarely does a multiple felon make a career comeback - apart from athletes, rappers, bankers, politicians, law enforcement officers, and anyone in the 1%...