Pharmacy

Tips: How to Pronounce a Difficult Drug Name Without Choking, Aspirating, Dying

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Last month, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (“The” FDA) approved the efficacious and unpronounceable idarucizumab (also known, thankfully, as Praxbind) to reverse the...

ER Places Bowl Full of Percocet in Waiting Room, Lowers Visits

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HANOVER, NJ – Local emergency medicine physicians have developed a groundbreaking way to reduce the number of patients they will see during a shift.  The...
polypharmacy

MegaPharm Introduces New Pill to Treat Polypharmacy

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NEW YORK, NY - In a bid to capture even more market share in the growing cohort of Americans taking more than ten scheduled...

ER Hires ‘Dilaudid Nazi’ to Dispense (or Not) Dispense Opioids

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ATLANTA, GA - The famous "Soup Nazi" from Seinfeld has been hired by Memorial Hospital’s ER to dispense or not dispense opioids to patients checking...

Drug Dealer Makes Seamless Transition to Pharmaceutical Sales Rep

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THE BLOCK, USA - Rarely does a multiple felon make a career comeback - apart from athletes, rappers, bankers, politicians, law enforcement officers, and anyone in the 1%...
Medical center

Medicine Changed Forever After Dr. Google Granted Prescriptive Authority

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Medicine will be changed forever after yesterday's ruling allowing online medical symptom checker sites, including Dr. Google, to prescribe medications. "We plan...
cancer drug

Meet Dilaudicillin the Groundbreaking New Narcotic/Antibiotic Combo that has Patient Satisfaction Scores Through the...

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In the era of Press-Ganey scores, most physicians have finally accepted that they are essentially waiters whose job is to serve the every whim...
banana bag

Unsure What’s a Banana Bag, Pharmacist Just Bags a Bunch of Bananas

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HONOLULU, HI - New pharmacist Aaron Prior-Auth admits he was flustered when nurse practitioner Karen Kaufmann called him up to get a "banana bag,...

Night Float Intern Boldly Chooses Non-Vanc/Zosyn Empiric Antibiotic Regimen

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DALLAS, TX - Night calls can be a scary thing for new interns.  Everything from blood pressures of 170/80 and sleeping pill requests in...

Shark Attack Victim Denied Narcotics

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PENSACOLA BEACH, FL - Skip Sanders alternated between spearfishing and surfing, depending on the waves.  Yesterday, an errant harpoon from his spear gun grazed...