Thursday, April 18, 2024

Pharmacy

Horse Veterinarian-Turned-Physician Prescribing Too Many Large Pills and Euthanasia

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BALTIMORE, MD – Former top equine veterinarian for race horses and now turned top physician, Dr. Zack Berger of Johns Hopkins, has been called out by his colleagues for his unusual practices. Whistleblower and colleague, Dr....
Pfizer box of medications

Pfizer Releases Box of Assorted Medications for Valentine’s Day

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Pharmaceutical giant Pfizer has announced plans to release a limited-edition box of assorted medications in time for Valentine’s Day.  The box consists of a wide variety of Pfizer’s most popular...

Hospital Debuts Combination Clinic/Pharmacy Drive-Thru

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RALEIGH, NC - A brand new healthcare system opened in Raleigh last week, as Atlantic Healthcare System (AHS) unveiled its state-of-the-art drive-thru clinic/pharmacy to rave reviews from consumers.  Atlantic Health calls Clinimax "The Future of...
chloride

Breaking: Nurse Initiates Lesser-Known Chloride Repletion Protocol

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - Nurse Jess Casamento of Ochsner Medical Center is one of the best when it comes to repleting electrolytes: potassium, magnesium, even phosphorus.  Today, however, she took it to another level and...

Surgeon General to Reverse Opioid Epidemic with Whopping Dose of Narcan

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Acting Surgeon General Sylvia Trent-Adams has unveiled a new strategy against the nation's opioid epidemic, and it simply involves giving the United States a "whopping, several-million mg dose" of Narcan (naloxone)...

Drug Dealer Makes Seamless Transition to Pharmaceutical Sales Rep

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THE BLOCK, USA - Rarely does a multiple felon make a career comeback - apart from athletes, rappers, bankers, politicians, law enforcement officers, and anyone in the 1% - but retired drug dealer Green Giant recently beat those...
pills

Makers of Dilaudid to Officially Change Name to ‘That One That Starts with a...

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a stunning move the makers of Dilaudid (hydromorphone) have officially changed their product name to “That One That Starts with a D.”  The move comes about as lawmakers attempt to...
homeopathy

Homeopathic Drug Rep No More Effective Than Placebo, New Study Finds

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A new study published by the University of South Pennington shows that Homeopathic drug reps are no more effective at convincing homeopaths to use certain brand-name homeopathic products than a placebo pill. “Quite frankly, the...
urine urinating eyeballs

After Being Given 200 mg of IV Lasix, Patient Urinating from Eyeballs

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LOUISVILLE, KY - After receiving a whopping dose of Lasix (furosemide) IV just within the past 20 minutes, Tina O’Rourke has informed those closest to her that she is not only adequately urinating from...
Libido Pills

New Female Libido Pill to Hit Shelves

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ATLANTA, GA - A new female libido pill is expected to hit shelves this week called Pamper.  The pill is designed to put that flame back in the bedroom, but the way it works may...