Pharmacy

African child

African Child Tragically Unaware He Has ‘Marker Negative Mixed Connective Tissue Disorder’‏

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MAUN, BOTSWANA - A desperately impoverished 6-year-old boy in Sub-Saharan Africa lacks the access to medical care which could properly diagnose his "Marker Negative...

Surgeon General to Reverse Opioid Epidemic with Whopping Dose of Narcan

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Acting Surgeon General Sylvia Trent-Adams has unveiled a new strategy against the nation's opioid epidemic, and it simply involves giving the...

Shark Attack Victim Denied Narcotics

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PENSACOLA BEACH, FL - Skip Sanders alternated between spearfishing and surfing, depending on the waves.  Yesterday, an errant harpoon from his spear gun grazed...
doctor prescribing

Doctor’s Last Drug-Rep Pen Running Out of Ink, Future Prescription Decisions Uncertain

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CRANQUISVILLE, USA - The Affordable Care Act of 2010 brought many changes to the US healthcare (insurance) system, and doctors have already felt the...
afternoon after

FDA Approves Afternoon-After Pill

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INTERCOURSE, PA - “Let’s face it: no one is getting up in the morning after an accident,” said a representative from the Food and Drug Administration...
Medical center

Medicine Changed Forever After Dr. Google Granted Prescriptive Authority

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Medicine will be changed forever after yesterday's ruling allowing online medical symptom checker sites, including Dr. Google, to prescribe medications. "We plan...

Drug Prices Outta Control: Man Spends 3 Months’ Salary on Vaginal Contraceptive Ring for...

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INTERCOURSE, PA—The great Beyoncé once never said, “If you didn’t want it, you shoulda put a ring in it.” As everyone surely doesn’t remember,...

Simple Solution to Medication Non-Adherence: Get Patients Addicted to Their Medicine

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BLUNT, SD—An innovative physician fed up with patients who don’t take their medications as prescribed has successfully lobbied Congress and pharmaceutical companies to adopt...
sodium tricarbonate tricarb

Woohoo!! Scientists Discover Sodium Tricarb!!

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BETHESDA, MD - Look out, everyone, things just got real exciting!  Scientists have made a discovery that is sure to change the face of medicine...
urine urinating eyeballs

After Being Given 200 mg of IV Lasix, Patient Urinating from Eyeballs

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LOUISVILLE, KY - After receiving a whopping dose of Lasix (furosemide) IV just within the past 20 minutes, Tina O’Rourke has informed those closest...