Saturday, November 19, 2022

Primary Care

fantasy medicine

Fantasy Medicine: Who’s Hot, Who’s Not

Before July 1, many of this year’s rookie class were considered average at best and were rarely selected in any rounds of fantasy leagues worldwide.  However, what we have witnessed in the first three...
lab tests

Local Woman: ‘I Need All My Labs Drawn’

EAST LANSING, MI – Local patient Sheryl Harris came to clinic today with a chief complaint of "I need all my labs drawn." When questioned what specific labs she was referring to, she responded, "All...

Big Pharma Admits They’re Just Trying to Kill Everybody with Vaccines

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In what is being hailed as a huge victory for the anti-vaccine movement, Big Pharma announced to the world today that they've been fooling everyone all along, that vaccines don’t work, and...

New CPR Guidelines Recommend Switching Out Providers Every 5 Cycles to Update Facebook Status

ST. LOUIS, MO – The American Heart Association (AHA) conducted further research and has published the new 2014 recommendations for cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR).  Basic Life Support (BLS) and Advanced Cardiac Life Support (ACLS) classes will...

Doctor Has Pseudoseizure to Avoid Patient with Pseudoseizures

TAMPA BAY, FL - Zelda Wilkins credits her “high pain tolerance” as the only way she can handle her affliction with pseudoseizures.  Despite frequenting four different hospital systems within the city, 93% of ER...
hospital administrator

Why I Became a Hospital Administrator

After carefully surveying the shifting American healthcare landscape for the past decade, I retired from my increasingly headache filled private practice and said to myself, "Self, you can’t beat ‘em, so join ‘em." No longer...
common cold

Antibiotic Cures Common Cold Virus

PHOENIX, AZ - Doctors in Arizona have discovered a revolutionary cure to the common cold.  On October 1, John Sniffles entered the emergency department at Valley Hospital.  After a seven-hour wait, he was seen by...

Hospital Custodial Manager: ‘I Love Irritating the S**t Out of Them’

CLEVELAND, OH - GomerBlog reporters are able to confirm that custodial staff at Memorial Hospital do indeed intentionally buff floors and clean bathrooms at the most inopportune time.  Head custodial manager Wilson Mayers accidentally...

Hospitalist Abusing Copy and Paste in Paper Charts

CAPE COD, MA - A hospitalist at Cape Cod Medical Center, Dr. Chris Gallagher, has been under heavy scrutiny after being accused several weeks ago by his own hospital staff of abusing "copy and...