Friday, March 29, 2024

Primary Care

Medicare gratuity plan

Medicare Institutes New ‘Gratuity-Based’ Compensation Plan

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WASHINGTON, DC - The Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) began the rollout of their revolutionary new compensation model this week, in which physicians and nurses are paid on a gratuity basis. "We don’t like...
emergency room

Man in US Furious About Waiting 15 minutes in ER; Meanwhile Patient in South...

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DENVER, CO – 46-year-old Marcus Stillbee is furious after waiting for 15 minutes to be seen at the local Quicky Care Medical Center ER in Denver yesterday.  Mr. Stillbee injured his ankle during an intense...
vaginal bleeding

Commentary: I Wish Someone Would Tell Me Why My Vagina Keeps Bleeding

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My name is Valerie.  I'm thirty-five years old and I've been blessed with good health my entire life.  I'm happily married and have two beautiful children.  I’m a teacher in an elementary school and...
lawyers drinking

Proposition 46 in California Designed by Inebriated Trial Lawyers, Sparks Proposition 47 and 48

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SACRAMENTO, CA - A ferocious yearlong battle over Proposition 46 will be decided in California at the polls this upcoming November.  Proposition 46 includes proposals to drug test physicians, to raise caps on medical malpractice...
fantasy medicine

Fantasy Medicine: Who’s Hot, Who’s Not

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Before July 1, many of this year’s rookie class were considered average at best and were rarely selected in any rounds of fantasy leagues worldwide.  However, what we have witnessed in the first three...
lab tests

Local Woman: ‘I Need All My Labs Drawn’

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EAST LANSING, MI – Local patient Sheryl Harris came to clinic today with a chief complaint of "I need all my labs drawn." When questioned what specific labs she was referring to, she responded, "All...
vaccines

Big Pharma Admits They’re Just Trying to Kill Everybody with Vaccines

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In what is being hailed as a huge victory for the anti-vaccine movement, Big Pharma announced to the world today that they've been fooling everyone all along, that vaccines don’t work, and...

New CPR Guidelines Recommend Switching Out Providers Every 5 Cycles to Update Facebook Status

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ST. LOUIS, MO – The American Heart Association (AHA) conducted further research and has published the new 2014 recommendations for cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR).  Basic Life Support (BLS) and Advanced Cardiac Life Support (ACLS) classes will...

Doctor Has Pseudoseizure to Avoid Patient with Pseudoseizures

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TAMPA BAY, FL - Zelda Wilkins credits her “high pain tolerance” as the only way she can handle her affliction with pseudoseizures.  Despite frequenting four different hospital systems within the city, 93% of ER...