Primary Care

on call

AMiON Scheduler To Be Replaced With A Simplified Text Saying ‘Yes’

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NEWTON, MA - In a move aimed at reducing operative costs, Spiral software's administrative staff issued a statement according to which AMiON popular scheduler is...
miss universal healthcare

Miss Management Crowned Miss Universal Healthcare

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BOSTON, MA - Miss Management of Hospital Administration has been crowned Miss Universal Healthcare, beating out Miss Hap of General Surgery, Miss Understanding of...
abdominal pain

Hospitalist Becomes Own Endless Loop

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In a stunning procession of events, nocturnist Angus "Kilty" McSwagger became the only known hospitalist to experience the so-called "admission mirror paradox."  Long speculated...
cyborg emr

Apocolyptic Electronic Medical Record Becomes Self-Aware

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"And just like that, the world burned."  Those haunting words were discovered deep within a nursing note by hospitalist Kilty McSwagger while he was...

Top 5 Medical Practices of 2016

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The list is out, the critics have weighed in, and of course a list was generated.  The TOP MEDICAL PRACTICES of 2016 are here....
elderly patient

What Kind of Older Hospitalized Patient Do You Want to Be?

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Fellow health care professionals, let’s face it: We’re all going to grow old and die.  We’re all going to be hospitalized at some point,...
pulmonary fellow

Patient Surprised to Learn Zombie Doctor Not in Costume

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HOLTON, KS - An area woman, recently treated in a rural Kansas emergency room on Halloween was surprised to learn that her zombie doctor...
malingerer map

New Dora the Malingerer Series to Win Over Canceled Doc McStuffins Fans

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ORLANDO, FL - Children and health care practitioners worldwide are still reeling after the forced resignation of Doc McStuffins.  Though Disney’s spin-off Admin McBriefcase...
empathy medical robot

Hospital to Employ Empathy Robots to Allow Nurses and Doctors to Chart

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Tired of being treated like a number at big hospitals?  Mercy Hospital in San Francisco wants to change that and they...
mars

NASA Plans to Build a Skilled Nursing Facility on Mars

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MERRITT ISLAND, FL - Scientists have been planning a human mission to Mars for exploration and habitation for decades.  Successful travel to and habitation of...