Astrological Signs Predict What Kind of Patient You Are
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — An assembly of doctors who keep notes about the behavior of their patients grouped by astrological sign has released its...
Barn Birthing Centers Gaining Popularity Across Nation
BROOKLYN, IA – A new birthing option for expectant mothers is currently taking the nation by storm. Barn birthing will soon supplant the water birth as...
Hospitalist Becomes Own Endless Loop
In a stunning procession of events, nocturnist Angus "Kilty" McSwagger became the only known hospitalist to experience the so-called "admission mirror paradox." Long speculated...
Geriatric Patient Miraculously Survives a 4-Day Weekend in the Hospital
NORTH PLATTE, NE - It was a true Christmas miracle for geriatric patient, Alfred Dwindles, when he found himself alive and without significant healthcare-induced...
New Cheetos Finger Decision Rule for Abdominal Pain
ANDERSON, CA - In a bold move, the Emergency Physicians at St Vincent Hospital in Anderson California have introduced the “Cheetos Fingers” sign into...
Tele-GYNs Now Offering Virtual Pelvic Exams
GWINNETT, GA - OB/GYNs are the latest specialists to join the telemedicine craze in America, as Georgia Healthcare announced that their doctors, NPs, and PAs...
American Geriatrics Association Publishes Guidelines on Gomeritis
The American Geriatrics Association has finally published its guidelines on gomeritis, a complex entity caused by the progressive deterioration of a gomerular brain. A...
Hospital with Low Survivability Submits Plans for New Employee Draft
DELAWARE - Recent published reports state morbidity and mortality rates are absolutely atrocious for Community Hospital. According to the US News & World ratings...
Straight-A Medical Student Eager to One Day Have Very Own Patients Who Completely Ignore...
ST. LOUIS, MO - Expressing that there would be “no greater conceivable opportunity to help others,” top-of-her-class medical student and part-time brownnoser Isabelle Wessington...
Veterinarian Turfs German Shepherd to Hospital Medicine
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Hospitalists at Minnesota Healthcare suffered one more devastating blow this morning as local veterinarian Tom Anderson turfed yet another animal, this...