Primary Care

This Store Provides Real Allergies to Get the Medication you Want

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BEVERLY HILLS, CA — Natalie Speede-Faster really needed to get back on Adderall.  Her stupid internist was “concerned” because Natalie always wanted a higher...
emr

The Fantasy Google Electronic Medical Record Vs. Reality

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Maybe Google needs to be hired for the next generation of electronic medical records.  Most of us would appreciate these new changes.
patient in hospital NPO after discharge

Tips: How to Worsen Your Already-Terrible Bedside Manner

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You may find your bedside manner is pretty terrible given how busy you are and your general frustration with humanity as a whole.  If...
pregnancy

Vaccinations Now Definitively Linked to Pregnancy

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BOSTON, MA - A new study just published in the Old England Journal of Medicine now definitively links childhood vaccinations to pregnancy. Jenny McCarthy,...
doctor updating

What ‘Thank You for the Interesting Consult’ Really Means, Part 2

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This is a continuation from our first post: What "Thank You for the Interesting Consult" Really Means, Part 1.  Let’s go! Nutrition Translation: Like it or...

After Obesity is Classified as a Disease, Ralph Calls In Sick for the Fourth...

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HOUSTON, TX – At United Data Centers Inc., a web development company, Ralph Summers has called in "sick" four times in the last month....
quitting medicine

Doctor Achieves Lifelong Dream of Quitting Medicine Forever

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“Finally!” he exclaimed, throwing his white coat, scrubs, and stethoscope onto a pile of logs. “I can’t believe I made it!” Meet Hunter McCutchen.  He...
annoyed doctor stage 4 decubitus ulcer

20 Out of 10 Medical Providers Annoyed by Patients’ Misuse of Pain Scales

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ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study by the Centers for Pain Control & Other Nonsense (CPCON), a whopping 20 out of 10...

Hospital Gets Sexy as Overhead Speakers Start Playing a Little Marvin Gaye

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ATLANTA, GA - Time to slow things down... real… slow… and heat things up.  There’s a different feeling in the air at Georgia Medical...

Unbelievable: Trump Signs Executive Order to Limit ER Usage

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The executive orders (EO) just keep coming.  President Donald Trump just signed an EO stating: "No one is allowed to go...