Do You Know Your ABCs by Subspecialty?
CHICAGO, IL – The American College of Surgeons (ACS) released new subspecialty-focused primary survey guidelines for Advanced Trauma Life Support (ATLS) this week after a panel review at the recent national meeting.
“With no major...
Hospital Unveils Pain Scale That Goes to Eleven
VANCOUVER, BC - In the movie This is Spinal Tap, guitarist Nigel Tufnel proudly shows off an amplifier that turns up to eleven instead of the standard ten. Now, thanks to the hard work...
Cardiothoracic Surgeon Dreams of Becoming Hollywood Star
NEW YORK, NY - Prominent cardiothoracic surgeon Dr. Dale Enderwood had "an amazing dream" last night and he woke up wishing he could return to that dream.
What’s this amazing dream you may ask? Well, it just may...
New Cracker Jack ‘Toys’ Include Condoms, Clean Syringes
PLANO, TX - Frito-Lay has just announced "Good fun!" in the form of a limited edition of Cracker Jack Chocolate & Caramel Flavored Popcorn, in which the "Toy Surprise" will be geared towards adults and...
Book of Delivery Menus Missing, 20 Night Nurses & Doctors Die of Hunger
AUGUSTA, GA - Medical personnel, patients, and families at Augusta Medical Center (AMC) are in mourning this morning as 20 night nurses and physicians died tragically last night from hunger after the treasured book of...
New Smartphone App + Selfie Stick Allows Patients to Take Own X-Rays at Home
CUPERTINO, CA - The telemedicine boom is poised to become an explosion, as a new app allows smartphone users to take their own x-rays with the aid of a "selfie stick." The images can then...
Man ‘Accidentally Falls’ on Gerbil That Ran Through Lube
MEMPHIS, TN – A local resident presented to the emergency room with an unusual complaint this evening. Chief complaint: "My bottom really hurts."
At first he was reluctant to say anything. "He told me his bottom hurt,"...
Rivalry Between Family Practitioner and Podiatrist Linked Back to One Case of Foot Fungus
MEDIA, PA - Tempers continue to flare in a small suburban town even after local researchers discovered that the origin of the now infamous rivalry between a podiatrist and a family medicine physician started with...
Las Vegas Hospital Expands into Luxury Resort and Casino
LAS VEGAS, NV - In a bold new plan to increase hospital revenue streams, hospital administrators at Las Vegas Medical Center have teamed up with MGM Resorts International to expand and convert the Level II...
NASA: New Planet Discovered with Equatorial Volcano and Rivers of Lava
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a news conference held early this morning, NASA astronomers announced they have discovered a new planet next to Pluto with features unlike Earth or any other planet discovered to date. The...