Primary Care

cpr clear

ZDoggMD: Clear!

10
We should petition CPR classes to just show ZDoggMD's video.  The excruciating 8 hour class could be summed up in 3 minutes.  Hands only...
urology awkard

Let Me Have at Your Johnson

19
EXAM ROOM 4, UROLOGY CLINIC - Hello, sir.  You seem a little bit nervous.  Well, there’s no need for that, I can assure you.  After...

New CPR Guidelines Recommend Switching Out Providers Every 5 Cycles to Update Facebook Status

1
ST. LOUIS, MO – The American Heart Association (AHA) conducted further research and has published the new 2014 recommendations for cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR).  Basic Life...
ketchup packet

Ketchup Packet in Random Clinic Drawer Turns 5 Years Old Today

15
NEW YORK, NY - And a Happy Fifth Birthday today to the 9-gram Heinz Ketchup packet located in a random desk drawer in some...

Groundbreaking Study Finds ‘Apple a Day’ Therapy Prevents 100% of Hospital Readmissions

0
KANSAS CITY, MO – A group of researchers who set out to find the most effective way to prevent hospital patients from having to...
sunset at the hospital

Monday Medicine Rounds Finish Just In Time for Tuesday Medicine Rounds

30
PHILADELPHIA, PA – With record-setting efficiency, the internal medicine team here at St. Agnes Hospital whipped through their Monday morning rounds at a breakneck...

Archaeologist: Ancient Group Claimed Drinking Clean Water Caused Diarrhea

4
A landmark discovery in southern France occurred this Saturday: scientists uncovered a series of caves that may have been inhabited by humans over 15,000 years...

Thor Spotted Crushing Reflexes with Mighty Hammer

0
ASGARD – According to witnesses, Thor, Norse God of Thunder, was recently spotted at a local hospital crushing patellar tendons with his mighty new...
coughing

As Nurse Leans In for a Listen, Patient Can Think of No Better Time...

0
BOSTON, MA - As Nurse Ned Franks leans in with a stethoscope to listen, patient Andy Charles can think of no better time today than right...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Quarantines Jenny McCarthy

0
ATLANTA, GA -- Due to the severe flu outbreak this season, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has decided to examine the...