Medical Student Conducts History & Physical with Spanish-Speaking Patient Using Only the Word ‘Dolor’
BOCA RATON, FL - Third-year medical student extraordinaire Gunner McBrownnose, only using the word "dolor," successfully conducted a complete history & physical encounter with...
Rand Paul’s Medical Credibility Lowered to Jenny McCarthy’s Level
KENTUCKY - In a shocking statement released today by Rand Paul, a well-respected Kentucky senator and ophthalmologist, he believes vaccines can lead to "mental...
New Smartphone App + Selfie Stick Allows Patients to Take Own X-Rays at Home
CUPERTINO, CA - The telemedicine boom is poised to become an explosion, as a new app allows smartphone users to take their own x-rays with...
It’s Time for a Change: Pharmacists Tired of Being the Last Stop in a...
CHARLESTON, SC - Pharmacists across the country are angry in regards to the pharmacy being the last stop in a patient’s day. Typically, patients are exhausted when...
New Burger King and Hilton Hospital to Open
CHICAGO, IL - Burger King and Hilton have merged together and plan to finish construction shortly on a new state of the art hotel,...
EMR Developers Shocked to Learn How Their Software is Actually Used
Several developers of widely-used electronic medical record (EMR) software were invited out of their cubicles last week for a much-hyped tour of the real-world...
Amidst Obesity Epidemic, Task Force Creates Glasgow Food Coma Scale
ATLANTA, GA - In response to the public health crisis of food comas resulting from the ongoing obesity epidemic, the 3N Joint Task Force,...
Fourthhand Smoke Leading Cause of Respiratory Illness in Munchausen Patients
NEW YORK, NY - The Association for Self-Diagnosis, affiliated with numerous major medical schools, has identified fourthhand smoke as a new threat to the...
Profits Soar After Area Hospital Opens ‘All You Can Eat/Shoot Narcotics Buffet’
In response to poor HCHAPS scores and declining revenue, St John’s in the Valley has become the first hospital in the nation to trial...