Narc Madness
It's that time of year, time to pick your favorite narcotic and see if it will make it to the final 4! This year...
Report: Essential Hypertension, Not at All Essential
PITTSBURGH, PA - Scientists discovered Wednesday that essential hypertension is not at all essential for life. "We were totally wrong when we discovered hypertension,"...
Lyrica-Eluting Stent for End Stage Fibromyalgia Sufferers
BERKELEY, CA - End stage fibromyalgia (ESF), affects 1 in 100,000 Americans nationwide. They frequently suffer short employment expectancy, have one of the highest...
Hospital Wristband Finally Identify ‘Pain in the A**’ Patients
SILICON VALLEY, CA – Following failed internal quality improvement efforts targeting drug-seeking patients, one California hospital took on a new tactic for difficult-to-deal-with patients.
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Podiatrists Admit They’re Not Really Examining Patients, Just Tickling Them
TOEJAM LAKE, CA - At the 23rd annual National Podiatric Conference on Bunions, the board of directors voted 5-4 to admit what the public...
Man Pretends to Have Heroin Addiction Just to Go to Rehab
SAN DIEGO, CA - 37-year-old respiratory therapist, Jonathan Mildersten, like many other working at University Hospital, was getting burned out. Pay was decreasing and vacation...
Profits Soar After Area Hospital Opens ‘All You Can Eat/Shoot Narcotics Buffet’
In response to poor HCHAPS scores and declining revenue, St John’s in the Valley has become the first hospital in the nation to trial...
Breaking News: American Patient Takes Responsibility for Own Health
CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA - During multidisciplinary rounds on a cardiology unit at the University of Virginia Medical Center (UVAMC), a glimmer of hope was revealed...
Archaeologist: Ancient Group Claimed Drinking Clean Water Caused Diarrhea
A landmark discovery in southern France occurred this Saturday: scientists uncovered a series of caves that may have been inhabited by humans over 15,000 years...
Patient Continues to Insist He Suffers from “The Gouch,” Not Gout
NEW YORK, NY - Larry McCarthy is a 65-year-old gentleman who doesn’t believe in the classic food pyramid; he believes in meat and alcohol...