Primary Care

Lazy Eye Not Even Trying to See

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TALLAHASSEE, FL – In an embarrassing show of pure slothfulness, the right eye of 28-year-old Christopher Chang has become so lazy that it won’t...
nice patient endangered species

Breaking: Nice Patients Added to Endangered Species List

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a move suggesting they are likely to become extinct unless something more is done to save them for future generations, the...
hospital cafeteria food

Hospital Cafeteria Debuts New Tasting Menu Format

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NAPA, CA - A hospital cafeteria in Napa simply called The Cafeteria has debuted a new three-hour $300 tasting menu format to supplant the...

Hospital with Low Survivability Submits Plans for New Employee Draft

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DELAWARE - Recent published reports state morbidity and mortality rates are absolutely atrocious for Community Hospital.  According to the US News & World ratings...

Hospitalist Abusing Copy and Paste in Paper Charts

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CAPE COD, MA - A hospitalist at Cape Cod Medical Center, Dr. Chris Gallagher, has been under heavy scrutiny after being accused several weeks...

Mayo Secretly Celebrates New #1 Status After Cleveland Clinic Comes Out Anti-Vax

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ROCHESTER, MN - The Mayo Clinic recently held a campus-wide party this weekend full of "Number 1" balloons and cakes that said "Mayo #1". ...
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The Vas-Band: Vasectomies No More

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REIMS, FRANCE - French urologist, Dr. Jacques LeStrappe, presented his newest innovation at the recent International Society of Urologists in Geneva, Switzerland that will...
hospital administrators

Prezz-Gainey Releases Hospital Administrator Satisfaction Survey

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CASH MOUNTAIN, MA - With much excitement, Shirley Survey, MBA, M$, JD of Prezz Gainey (PG) announced the release of the much anticipated Hospital...
medical pager

October 16, 2015: National Toss Your Pager in the Trash Day

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Finally.  Pagers are on their way out for good! To the delight of physicians, physician assistants, nurse practitioners, nurses, and any other health care provider who...

Thor Spotted Crushing Reflexes with Mighty Hammer

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ASGARD – According to witnesses, Thor, Norse God of Thunder, was recently spotted at a local hospital crushing patellar tendons with his mighty new...