Primary Care

Doc McStuffins, Lambie

Doc McStuffins Caught Sleeping with Lambie, License Suspended

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SACRAMENTO, CA - The Medical Board of California suspended the license of Dottie "Doc" McStuffins after allegations arose that she conducted an inappropriate relationship with...

HDL Cholesterol Breaks Bad, Tired of Always Being the “Good” On

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ALBUQUERQUE, NM—High-density lipoprotein (HDL) cholesterol, the so-called “good” cholesterol that helpfully clears away cholesterol deposits from arteries, is tired of always being the good...
narcos

Fifth Season of Netflix’s ‘Narcos’ To Be Set In Washington, D.C.

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SCOTTS VALLEY, CA - Seasons 1 through 3 chronicled the drug trade through Columbia, Season 4 is poised to go to Mexico, and it...
confused doctor

Patient’s Pregnancy Test Positive Despite Denying Sexual Activity; Obstetricians Baffled

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A 15-lead ECG, two X-rays, an ultrasound, a full-body CT, an MRI with gadolinium, and still, a mystery. “It’s perplexing, that’s for sure,” said Dr. Jouseph...
insulin

FDA Bans Insulin Amid Reports of Increased Amputations and Other Life Threatening Diseases

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MEMPHIS, TN – The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced on Monday that they are pulling insulin off the shelves across the country.  "We...
cosmo doctors

Cosmo: Eleven Tips for Mind-Blowing, Incredible Doctor Visits!

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Cosmopolitan magazine recently published “Eleven Tips for Mind-Blowing, Incredible Doctor Visits!” in a slight departure from its usual category of advice.  With permission from...
Appointment shot clock

Clinic Installs Shot Clock Buzzer To Mark End Of Appointment Slot

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BOCA RATON, FL - In a groundbreaking move which could foster improved patient flow across the country, Madre De Díos Clinic spokeswoman Chlöe Less...

Psychic Hired to Read Patients’ Minds, Doctor Visit Time Reduced

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BATON ROUGE, LA -- Do you think doctors ask weird questions—like “Do you have any problems with your kidneys?” Or ones that are hard...
walking

Census Data Project Power-Chair Riders Will Outnumber Pedestrians by 2040

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WASHINGTON, DC - The Census Bureau released a mountain of data last week, and among the most interesting trends is the astronomical increase in...
doctor texting

Hospital Staff to Use Social Media to Update Patients, Direct Medical Care

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PHOENIX, AZ - Hospital staff at Trinity Hospital are now required to attend social media-targeted family conference training and medical resource training.Hospital administrator Rob Hamilton...