Primary Care

walking

Census Data Project Power-Chair Riders Will Outnumber Pedestrians by 2040

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WASHINGTON, DC - The Census Bureau released a mountain of data last week, and among the most interesting trends is the astronomical increase in...
recto-retriever

Recto-Retriever Approved for Personal Use

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COLUMBIA, SC - Proctologic Inc. announces the release of its new product, the Recto-Retriever.  The Recto-Retriever is an amazing, thrilling, and versatile tool that...
astrology

Astrological Signs Predict What Kind of Patient You Are

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA — An assembly of doctors who keep notes about the behavior of their patients grouped by astrological sign has released its...
empowered patient university

Empowered Patient University Established, Medical and Nursing Schools Threatened

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SAN JOSE, CA – A new university stands proud and tall in the heart of downtown San Jose.  Empowered Patient University is enrolling its...
medical students

Optimistic, Bright-Eyed Med Students Eager to Transform into Jaded, Burned-Out Physicians

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ATLANTA, GA - Like a caterpillar ready to mature into a beautiful butterfly, bright-eyed graduating medical students across the nation are eager to begin...
empathy medical robot

Hospital to Employ Empathy Robots to Allow Nurses and Doctors to Chart

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Tired of being treated like a number at big hospitals?  Mercy Hospital in San Francisco wants to change that and they...
patient in pain

Patient with 9 Listed Allergies and ‘High Pain Tolerance’ Actually Has a High Pain...

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TOPEKA, KS – Local ER Physician Dr. Onlee Cönsults claims he met the Great White Buffalo of ER patients during his shift last evening...

Hospital Gets Sexy as Overhead Speakers Start Playing a Little Marvin Gaye

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ATLANTA, GA - Time to slow things down... real… slow… and heat things up.  There’s a different feeling in the air at Georgia Medical...

Hospital Pilots Pet Therapy with Black Bears, Grizzlies

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VALHALLA, NY - Hospital administrators at Westchester Medical Center are piloting a new pet therapy program using service animals - black bears and grizzlies,...
pharmacist

Nostalgic Pharmacists Yearn for Good ‘Ole Days of Illegible Doctors’ Prescriptions

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - Though pharmacists appreciate the progress that has been made with electronic health records (EHR) and e-prescriptions over the past two...