Primary Care

elf on shelf

Millions of Americans Battling Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move ‘Elf on the Shelf’ Variant

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ATLANTA, GA - The CDC has confirmed that a new anxiety syndrome has reached epidemic levels among parents nationwide.  Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move...
hobby lobby birth control pills

Hobby Lobby’s Pharmacies Continue to Sell Birth Control While Denying Workers Coverage

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OKLAHOMA, OK - Hobby Lobby's pharmacies will continue to sell contraceptives after the company's recent Supreme Court victory.  "The contraceptive business, I mean craft...
Gas-X brain farts

Neurologists Recommend Gas-X for Treatment of Brain Farts

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN - The American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has updated their guidelines for the diagnosis and management of brain farts, a condition characterized...

Local Man Presents to Urgent Care, Complaining of ‘Caulk Stuck to Hands,’ Oblivious to...

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SIOUX CITY, IA - Benjamin Dover, 43, a painter in Sioux City, Iowa, reports being greeted with "smirks and laughter" upon his recent visit...
coughing

As Nurse Leans In for a Listen, Patient Can Think of No Better Time...

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BOSTON, MA - As Nurse Ned Franks leans in with a stethoscope to listen, patient Andy Charles can think of no better time today than right...
grandma reindeer

Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer, Remains in Critical Condition

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OUTSIDE IN THE SNOW SOMEWHERE - GomerBlog is sad to report that Grandma was “found down” 3 days before Christmas during potential Santa Claus test...
laughter is the best medicine

Study: Laughter Truly is the Best Medicine, Except for Cases of Severe Diarrhea

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SAN ANTONIO, TX – A new study published in The Medicine Journal demonstrated that laughter truly is the best medicine for medical aliments.  The study...
athlete's foot

Rivalry Between Family Practitioner and Podiatrist Linked Back to One Case of Foot Fungus

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MEDIA, PA - Tempers continue to flare in a small suburban town even after local researchers discovered that the origin of the now infamous rivalry...
health record on post it notes

Area Hospital to Implement New Health Record Using Post-it Notes

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AREA, GA - Despite a flurry of activity in healthcare systems across America to implement efficient electronic health records (EHRs) or even more efficient...

Patient Care During Super Bowl Nears “Total Neglect” Status

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA – "Don’t get sick during the Super Bowl" was the overwhelming response put out the Joint Commission today.  New studies just released by...