Primary Care

gluten allergy

After Binging on Pizza and Beer, Local Man Claims to Have Gluten Allergy

4
BERKELEY, CA – Local resident Charles Longfellow is no stranger to beer.  “A typical weekend I’ll go through a couple cases,” he told reporters...
code placement

Dramatic ‘Code Placement’ Captured on Tape

25
AUSTIN, TX - In breaking news, GomerBlog has received word of a dramatic “Code Placement” captured on tape on Unit 4E at Austin Medical...
condom, syringes

New Cracker Jack ‘Toys’ Include Condoms, Clean Syringes

0
PLANO, TX - Frito-Lay has just announced "Good fun!" in the form of a limited edition of Cracker Jack Chocolate & Caramel Flavored Popcorn, in...
hypertension guidelines

Labile Guidelines: ACC/AHA Hypertension Cutoff Now 180/100

0
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Last month, several societies including the American College of Cardiology (ACC) and American Heart Association (AHA) redefined hypertension as greater than...

Justin Timberlake: I’m Bringing Measles Baaaack

0
Recently Justin Timberlake announced to the world that he is not planning to vaccinate his child.  Evidently all the scientific evidence looks different behind...

Brave Patient Speaks Up About Lower Back Pain

0
LOS GATOS, CA – Mrs. Ann Oyin is a 82-year-old librarian who presented to her PCP for a cold that wasn’t getting any better....
lightsaber

Vader Pharmaceuticals Introduces New EpiLightsaber for Anaphylaxis

33
DEATH STAR II - In response to the growing prevalence of food allergies among employees of the evil Galactic Empire, Vader Pharmaceuticals have announced...

Medical Specialties as Harry Potter Characters

0
Dolores Umbridge, Corenelius Fudge, Percy Weasley- Administration- you operate on a sliding scale of likability and we aren’t sure if you’re evil, rigid, or...
hospital administrator golfing

A Modern Hippocratic Oath for Hospital Administrators

6
Going forward, I swear to fulfill, to the best of my ability and judgment, this cost-saving and value-added covenant: I am an agent of change...
fbi detectives

The Search for the Remains of Jimmy Hoffa Turns to ABIM’s Philadelphia Condo

3
PHILADELPHIA, PA - The decades-long search for Jimmy Hoffa took yet another an unexpected turn this week following revelations that the American union labor leader...