Primary Care

iv flush

Exciting New Treatment for ‘Status Dramaticus’ Released Today by the FDA and NIH

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BETHESDA, MD - Breaking news today from the FDA and NIH researchers in Bethesda,  MD.  A new treatment for Status Dramaticus (SD) has been...
urgent care monkey

Urgent Care Trains Monkey to Dispense Z-Paks, Send Patients to ER

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CHARLOTTE, NC - An urgent care clinic in Charlotte is the talk of the industry after piloting a new program meant to lower costs...

Groundbreaking Study Finds ‘Apple a Day’ Therapy Prevents 100% of Hospital Readmissions

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KANSAS CITY, MO – A group of researchers who set out to find the most effective way to prevent hospital patients from having to...

Hospital Pilots Pet Therapy with Black Bears, Grizzlies

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VALHALLA, NY - Hospital administrators at Westchester Medical Center are piloting a new pet therapy program using service animals - black bears and grizzlies,...

Tips: How to Pronounce a Difficult Drug Name Without Choking, Aspirating, Dying

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Last month, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (“The” FDA) approved the efficacious and unpronounceable idarucizumab (also known, thankfully, as Praxbind) to reverse the...

Easter Not Recognized as Holiday, Riots Ensue at Catholic Hospital

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HOSPITAL OF THE RESURRECTION - Religion is not a quiet affair at this institution.  Morning and evening prayers are broadcasted over the PA system...
baby ADHD

Enfamil with Adderall Approved for Infantile ADHD

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LEXINGTON, MA -  Spiral Pharmaceuticals has paired with baby formula giant Enfamil to create the world’s first amphetamine-fortified formula, which will treat a newly...
angry patient

Poor Colonoscopy Bowel Prep Blamed on Doctor

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BOUTTE, LA - Bobby Boudreaux's colonoscopy had to be aborted this morning due to a poor bowel prep, making it impossible to safely perform...
gout

Patient Continues to Insist He Suffers from “The Gouch,” Not Gout

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NEW YORK, NY - Larry McCarthy is a 65-year-old gentleman who doesn’t believe in the classic food pyramid; he believes in meat and alcohol...
nutritionist

Nutritionist Confronts Arch Nemesis, The Malnutritionist

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ATLANTA, GA - Things are tense this morning at Tostitos Medical Center (TMC) as clinical nutritionist and protagonist Alice Dash just ran into her...