Apocolyptic Electronic Medical Record Becomes Self-Aware
"And just like that, the world burned." Those haunting words were discovered deep within a nursing note by hospitalist Kilty McSwagger while he was...
Doctors and Nurses Form ‘The Gigantic Commission’ to Accredit The Joint Commission
SAN DIEGO, CA - With recent concerns over the credentials of employees of The Joint Commission (JC), doctors and nurses have formed a separate regulating...
Crisis Brewing as Unit 61’s Coffee Machine Broken
SEATTLE, WA - A huge crisis is brewing at Arabica Medical Center this morning as medical staff have discovered that the hospital’s best coffee...
McDonald’s Introduces Value Meals With Cholesterol and Diabetes Medications Blended In
BOCA RATON, FL - In a landmark move being hailed as "a potential solution to the obesity epidemic" plaguing the U.S., the McDonald's Corporation announced...
Justin Timberlake: I’m Bringing Measles Baaaack
Recently Justin Timberlake announced to the world that he is not planning to vaccinate his child. Evidently all the scientific evidence looks different behind...
Big Pharma Admits They’re Just Trying to Kill Everybody with Vaccines
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In what is being hailed as a huge victory for the anti-vaccine movement, Big Pharma announced to the world today that they've...
National Arthritic Society Lobbies for Climate Change
WASHINGTON, DC – The Koch Brothers and the National Arthritic Society (NAS) have teamed up to encourage global warming. It all started in the Land...
Dammit, It’s a Ruse! Nystatin Isn’t a Statin After All
BETHESDA, MD - The medical world is at a loss for words after scientists at the National Institute of Health (NIH) dropped the megaton...
NFL Grants Seahawks’ Team Physician Access to Randomly Check Brady’s Balls
NEW YORK, NY - NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell announced yesterday his plan to address the New England Patriots’ latest veiled attempt to bend league rules to...
Malpractice Attorneys Without Borders Program Announced to Aid Legally Underserved Countries
NEW YORK, NY – The National Legal Aid and Defender Association announced today the establishment of MMAWB (Medical Malpractice Attorneys Without Borders), a group...