Primary Care

Doctors Still Unclear Why Right Said Fred So Sexy It Hurts

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LONDON, ENGLAND - Despite a battery of noninvasive and invasive diagnostic tests, doctors at London Medical Center remain puzzled, as they are still unclear why...
epipen price increase

EpiPen Users Develop Shock Over EpiPen Prices: Treatment, More EpiPens

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WASHINGTON, DC - Numerous cases of EpiPen Price Gouging Shock (EPGS) are sweeping the nation after EpiPen prices continue to be hiked up by...

Hospital Pilots Pet Therapy with Black Bears, Grizzlies

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VALHALLA, NY - Hospital administrators at Westchester Medical Center are piloting a new pet therapy program using service animals - black bears and grizzlies,...

$1.3 Billion Saved by Eliminating Common Greetings in Patient Encounters Claim Managed Care Administrators

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NEWPORT, RI - Managed care administrators have calculated that if physicians eliminate common greetings towards patients in the exam room, savings could mount in...
dilaudid graph

Study: Dilaudid Administration Directly Correlates with High Patient Satisfaction; Narcan Not So Much

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BOSTON, MA - As many doctors and nurses have discovered the hard way, a recent study published in the New England Journal of Medicine...
patient cocoon

Medical Team Unable to Penetrate Patient’s Protective Blanket Cocoon

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - “I think it’s alive,” whispered intern Jason McCarren to nurse Mya Roberts, both at the patient’s bedside puzzled. “Are you sure?”...
Rand Paul

Rand Paul’s Medical Credibility Lowered to Jenny McCarthy’s Level

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KENTUCKY - In a shocking statement released today by Rand Paul, a well-respected Kentucky senator and ophthalmologist, he believes vaccines can lead to "mental...

New AHA Hypertension Practice Guidelines: A Resident’s Personal Struggle on Night Float

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The American Heart Association 2017 Hypertension Practice Guidelines has just recently come out with new guidelines, changing the standard definition of hypertension from 140/90...
diabetes medications in food

McDonald’s Introduces Value Meals With Cholesterol and Diabetes Medications Blended In

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BOCA RATON, FL - In a landmark move being hailed as "a potential solution to the obesity epidemic" plaguing the U.S., the McDonald's Corporation announced...

Local Hospitalist Accidentally Writes Best-Selling Fantasy Novel While Trying to Change EMR Password

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DETROIT, MI - Just last week, local hospitalist Dr. Blake Harrison came across a scenario that seems to happen every 20 minutes these days:...