Primary Care

Industrious Homeless Man Creates Hospital Room-Share Website

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BALTIMORE CITY, MD - Jerome Stanton an opportunist and venerate street man of Baltimore City has created an online marketplace for patrons to share...
podiatrist tickle

Podiatrists Admit They’re Not Really Examining Patients, Just Tickling Them

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TOEJAM LAKE, CA - At the 23rd annual National Podiatric Conference on Bunions, the board of directors voted 5-4 to admit what the public...
traffic jam Flonase

Public Flees California in Droves Due to Dilaudid Shortage

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CALIFORNIA - As a result of a statewide shortage of the popular IV opioid pain medication, Dilaudid, a mass emigration of people away from...
Fireworks

Local ED Refuses to Take Care of Firework Injuries This July 4th

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NEW BERN, NC - A local New Bern emergency department has made it abundantly clear to the town that they will be refusing to...

A Growing Trend with Men, Vasectomy Procedure Plans

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CHICAGO, IL - Recently a new trend has been spreading like wildfires throughout urology and family medicine clinics in the US…Vasectomy Procedure Plans.  Many...

Surface of Mercury Less Toxic Than Hospital Work Environment

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WASHINGTON, DC - Scientists at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) have analyzed data suggesting that the surface of Mercury, though not suitable for...
explosion

Clinic Nurse and Doctor Suffer Burnout, Spontaneously Combust

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MIAMI, FL - Staff at Miami Health Clinic are mourning the loss of two well-loved and respected colleagues, Nurse Michelle Boosh and Dr. George...

Local Hospitalist Accidentally Writes Best-Selling Fantasy Novel While Trying to Change EMR Password

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DETROIT, MI - Just last week, local hospitalist Dr. Blake Harrison came across a scenario that seems to happen every 20 minutes these days:...
recto-retriever

Recto-Retriever Approved for Personal Use

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COLUMBIA, SC - Proctologic Inc. announces the release of its new product, the Recto-Retriever.  The Recto-Retriever is an amazing, thrilling, and versatile tool that...
nutritionist

Nutritionist Confronts Arch Nemesis, The Malnutritionist

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ATLANTA, GA - Things are tense this morning at Tostitos Medical Center (TMC) as clinical nutritionist and protagonist Alice Dash just ran into her...