Profits Soar After Area Hospital Opens ‘All You Can Eat/Shoot Narcotics Buffet’
In response to poor HCHAPS scores and declining revenue, St John’s in the Valley has become the first hospital in the nation to trial...
Rectal Exam Nuisance: New Product Changing the Way We Look at Cheeks
MIAMI, FL - A new product by Telameto Corporation has emergency practitioners cheering for joy. The inefficiencies of the rectal exam will quickly be...
Pokemon Go Video Game Gets People To Go Outside
CHICAGO, IL - Doctors are flabbergasted by what Nintendo has achieved. For years, they have been telling patients to stop playing video games and...
Patient with 9 Listed Allergies and ‘High Pain Tolerance’ Actually Has a High Pain...
TOPEKA, KS – Local ER Physician Dr. Onlee Cönsults claims he met the Great White Buffalo of ER patients during his shift last evening...
Describe This Pencil by Medical Specialty
Your specialty of choice fosters a certain way of doing things. We polled residents from several different specialties and asked them to describe this...
Wilderness Medicine Residency Approved by ACGME, Offers to Pay Trainees in Pine Cones
BURLINGTON, VT - Enter the profession of wilderness medicine – every closeted survivalist’s dream come true and a quaint throwback to an era where it was...
Hospital Merges with Fast Food, Tobacco Companies to ‘Stay Competitive’
CHICAGO, IL - As you pass by the ER entrance at Cook County Hospital, the unmistakable aroma of grease, processed burgers, and cigarette smoke...
Apocolyptic Electronic Medical Record Becomes Self-Aware
"And just like that, the world burned." Those haunting words were discovered deep within a nursing note by hospitalist Kilty McSwagger while he was...
Patient Continues to Insist He Suffers from “The Gouch,” Not Gout
NEW YORK, NY - Larry McCarthy is a 65-year-old gentleman who doesn’t believe in the classic food pyramid; he believes in meat and alcohol...
Primary Care Physician Shocked to Hear Young Male Not Presenting for Penis Problem
On Thursday, September 27th of the year 2018, Dr. Lauren Deeply Indebt received the shock of her life: a young healthy male presented to...