Hospital Merges with Fast Food, Tobacco Companies to ‘Stay Competitive’
CHICAGO, IL - As you pass by the ER entrance at Cook County Hospital, the unmistakable aroma of grease, processed burgers, and cigarette smoke...
New CMS Guideline: Door-to-Dilaudid Time
WOODLAWN, MD - Today the Center for Medical Surveys (CMS) announced a radical change to benchmarking and patient satisfaction surveys. Realizing the opportunity to...
Physical Therapist Evaluates Patient But Refuses to Treat
SAN FRANCISCO, CA – In a stunning turn of events, a physical therapist at St. Agnes Medical Center has evaluated a patient but is refusing...
Tele-GYNs Now Offering Virtual Pelvic Exams
GWINNETT, GA - OB/GYNs are the latest specialists to join the telemedicine craze in America, as Georgia Healthcare announced that their doctors, NPs, and PAs...
Optimistic, Bright-Eyed Med Students Eager to Transform into Jaded, Burned-Out Physicians
ATLANTA, GA - Like a caterpillar ready to mature into a beautiful butterfly, bright-eyed graduating medical students across the nation are eager to begin...
It’s Time for a Change: Pharmacists Tired of Being the Last Stop in a...
CHARLESTON, SC - Pharmacists across the country are angry in regards to the pharmacy being the last stop in a patient’s day. Typically, patients are exhausted when...
Hospitalist Becomes Own Endless Loop
In a stunning procession of events, nocturnist Angus "Kilty" McSwagger became the only known hospitalist to experience the so-called "admission mirror paradox." Long speculated...
Renegade Clan of Nap Specialists Declare Independence from Sleep Medicine
DARIEN, IL - In a startling development, a renegade clan of nap specialists known as “The Nappers” have seceded from the American Association of...
Chief Resident Regrets Decision to Serve Noodles During Lunchtime PowerPoint on Roundworms
ATLANTA, GA - “I have never seen so many people vomit their brains out at once,” said disappointed chief resident Frank Napoli as he...
Pharmaceutical Company Buys Out Another 20 Generic Drugs, Decides to Raise Drug Prices to…...
DAYTON, OH - CEO of Turing Pharmaceuticals Martin Shkreli made another bold announcement today that his pharmaceutical company has now bought rights for 20 more...