Primary Care

alternative medicine

Homeopathic Burn Remedy Effective, Allopaths Stunned

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DENVER, CO - Doctors, skeptics, and the scientific community as a whole, were stunned today when the North American branch of the Society for...
nystatin statin

Dammit, It’s a Ruse! Nystatin Isn’t a Statin After All

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BETHESDA, MD - The medical world is at a loss for words after scientists at the National Institute of Health (NIH) dropped the megaton...
pope francis blessing

Who Received Pope Francis’ Blessing?

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Many people know that Pope Francis has been visiting the United States.  However, not many people realize that he has stopped by numerous healthcare...

ER Places Bowl Full of Percocet in Waiting Room, Lowers Visits

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HANOVER, NJ – Local emergency medicine physicians have developed a groundbreaking way to reduce the number of patients they will see during a shift.  The...

New Movantik (The Poop Medication) Commercial – Parody

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Naloxegol or Movantik was made famous during the Super Bowel when we were all graced with a constipation ad to help fight the opioid...

New Attending Receives First Paycheck, Transforms into Fully Developed Republican

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WATERLOO, IA - Shortly after receiving his first paycheck, Trent Perry, a physician in his first year of practice, finally emerged from his cocoon...

Barn Birthing Centers Gaining Popularity Across Nation

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BROOKLYN, IA – A new birthing option for expectant mothers is currently taking the nation by storm.  Barn birthing will soon supplant the water birth as...

CDC Warns Man Buns Harbor Zika Virus

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ATLANTA, GA - The Center for Disease Control has issued a very clear warning: Do not date or interact with any men with man...
gluten free

Man On Gluten-Free Diet Has No Idea What Gluten Actually Is

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Chad Bennington, a 32-year-old otherwise healthy male without celiac disease, saw a new phrase on his favorite cereal box at his local grocery store. ...

I Wish My Pager Had Less Irritating Sounds, Like Fork on Chalkboard & Midnight...

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In medical school, I found this ugly, indurated, black mass along my right lower quadrant, towards my inguinal crease.  It wasn’t tender per se,...