Primary Care

condom, syringes

New Cracker Jack ‘Toys’ Include Condoms, Clean Syringes

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PLANO, TX - Frito-Lay has just announced "Good fun!" in the form of a limited edition of Cracker Jack Chocolate & Caramel Flavored Popcorn, in...
patient satisfaction

New Product “Doctor Sunshine” Helps Physicians Identify, Dismiss Dissatisfied Patients

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DURHAM, NC - A startup company based in North Carolina's Research Triangle is growing exponentially and getting rave reviews from doctors due to its...
dilaudid graph

Study: Dilaudid Administration Directly Correlates with High Patient Satisfaction; Narcan Not So Much

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BOSTON, MA - As many doctors and nurses have discovered the hard way, a recent study published in the New England Journal of Medicine...

I Wish My Pager Had Less Irritating Sounds, Like Fork on Chalkboard & Midnight...

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In medical school, I found this ugly, indurated, black mass along my right lower quadrant, towards my inguinal crease.  It wasn’t tender per se,...
wristbands

Hospital Wristband Finally Identify ‘Pain in the A**’ Patients

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SILICON VALLEY, CA – Following failed internal quality improvement efforts targeting drug-seeking patients, one California hospital took on a new tactic for difficult-to-deal-with patients. Like...
miss universal healthcare

Miss Management Crowned Miss Universal Healthcare

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BOSTON, MA - Miss Management of Hospital Administration has been crowned Miss Universal Healthcare, beating out Miss Hap of General Surgery, Miss Understanding of...
hospital door cms

New CMS Guideline: Door-to-Dilaudid Time

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WOODLAWN, MD - Today the Center for Medical Surveys (CMS) announced a radical change to benchmarking and patient satisfaction surveys.  Realizing the opportunity to...

Justin Timberlake: I’m Bringing Measles Baaaack

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Recently Justin Timberlake announced to the world that he is not planning to vaccinate his child.  Evidently all the scientific evidence looks different behind...

Local Doctor Consults Sauron to Create the One Pill to Cure Them All

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“I was at my wits’ end with these chronic pain patients,” Local doctor Fro Doe told reporters. “They keep coming in over and over...
doctor prescribing

Doctor’s Last Drug-Rep Pen Running Out of Ink, Future Prescription Decisions Uncertain

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CRANQUISVILLE, USA - The Affordable Care Act of 2010 brought many changes to the US healthcare (insurance) system, and doctors have already felt the...