Primary Care

pediatrics vaccines

Local Children Against Vaccinations Despite the Evidence

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ATLANTA, GA – A growing trend is occurring among children across the nation: the rejection of vaccines.  It has been well documented that some...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Quarantines Jenny McCarthy

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ATLANTA, GA -- Due to the severe flu outbreak this season, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has decided to examine the...
grandma reindeer

Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer, Remains in Critical Condition

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OUTSIDE IN THE SNOW SOMEWHERE - GomerBlog is sad to report that Grandma was “found down” 3 days before Christmas during potential Santa Claus test...

The Similarities & Differences Between ED and ED

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Now that you can't say "ER" anymore when referring to the place where drug-seekers go to get Dilaudid, it can be a bit confusing...
empathy medical robot

Hospital to Employ Empathy Robots to Allow Nurses and Doctors to Chart

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Tired of being treated like a number at big hospitals?  Mercy Hospital in San Francisco wants to change that and they...
camera crew for inspections

NFL Grants Seahawks’ Team Physician Access to Randomly Check Brady’s Balls

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NEW YORK, NY - NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell announced yesterday his plan to address the New England Patriots’ latest veiled attempt to bend league rules to...
xray smartphone app

New Smartphone App + Selfie Stick Allows Patients to Take Own X-Rays at Home

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CUPERTINO, CA - The telemedicine boom is poised to become an explosion, as a new app allows smartphone users to take their own x-rays with...
man eating and smoking

Hospital Merges with Fast Food, Tobacco Companies to ‘Stay Competitive’

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CHICAGO, IL - As you pass by the ER entrance at Cook County Hospital, the unmistakable aroma of grease, processed burgers, and cigarette smoke...
medical student adorbs CAGE questionnaire infectious enthusiasm

Med Student with Crushing Debt Terrified He Will Like Family Medicine

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MAYWOOD, IL - Citing concerns about his crushing debt, local 3rd-year med student Aaron Ferguson reports that he is “terrified” he will enjoy his...
brain freeze

Popsicle-Induced Brain Freeze: A Rising Epidemic in Pediatric Emergency Departments

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LONDON, ON - Airway, Breathing, Circulation... Popsicle. This has been the foundation of pediatric resuscitation for decades. While the model has served pediatricians well,...