Primary Care

glove intern millionaire

Fancy Pants Intern Throws Away Spare Disposable Glove Like Some Kind of Millionaire

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PORTLAND, OR - In an audacious display of waste and privilege, new intern Thomas Donaldson simply threw away a perfectly good disposable glove in...
doctor patient

Patient Impressed by Doctor After Both Skim Over Same Website

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Local patient Sawyer Schmidt was reportedly quite impressed with the clinical acumen of his PCP Dr Roundhouse after an office visit to discuss CT...
sunset at the hospital

Monday Medicine Rounds Finish Just In Time for Tuesday Medicine Rounds

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PHILADELPHIA, PA – With record-setting efficiency, the internal medicine team here at St. Agnes Hospital whipped through their Monday morning rounds at a breakneck...
doctor updating

What ‘Thank You for the Interesting Consult’ Really Means, Part 2

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This is a continuation from our first post: What "Thank You for the Interesting Consult" Really Means, Part 1.  Let’s go! Nutrition Translation: Like it or...
need coffee

Crisis Brewing as Unit 61’s Coffee Machine Broken

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SEATTLE, WA - A huge crisis is brewing at Arabica Medical Center this morning as medical staff have discovered that the hospital’s best coffee...

Hospital Pilots Pet Therapy with Black Bears, Grizzlies

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VALHALLA, NY - Hospital administrators at Westchester Medical Center are piloting a new pet therapy program using service animals - black bears and grizzlies,...
prescription

Study: Narcotic Script Has a 95% Chance of Running Out on a Weekend

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DURHAM, NC – Researchers at Duke University have discovered that a typical 30-day supply of Vicodin or Percocet has a 95.3% chance of running...

Whole Foods to Offer Free Gluten Sensitivity Tests in Aisles

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HARTFORD, CT - In an attempt to further push gluten-free foods into the public eye, Whole Foods has added point of care celiac sprue...
noodles that look like roundworms

Chief Resident Regrets Decision to Serve Noodles During Lunchtime PowerPoint on Roundworms

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ATLANTA, GA - “I have never seen so many people vomit their brains out at once,” said disappointed chief resident Frank Napoli as he...

Groundbreaking Study Finds ‘Apple a Day’ Therapy Prevents 100% of Hospital Readmissions

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KANSAS CITY, MO – A group of researchers who set out to find the most effective way to prevent hospital patients from having to...