Primary Care

hospital buffet

Profits Soar After Area Hospital Opens ‘All You Can Eat/Shoot Narcotics Buffet’

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In response to poor HCHAPS scores and declining revenue, St John’s in the Valley has become the first hospital in the nation to trial...

Groundbreaking Study Finds ‘Apple a Day’ Therapy Prevents 100% of Hospital Readmissions

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KANSAS CITY, MO – A group of researchers who set out to find the most effective way to prevent hospital patients from having to...
blank script

ZDoggMD: Blank Script

5
Check out ZDoggMD's "Blank Script" rendition of Taylor Swift's "Blank Space."  Doctor shopping is alive and well and physicians watch out, Yelp is here!...
pulmonary fellow

Patient Surprised to Learn Zombie Doctor Not in Costume

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HOLTON, KS - An area woman, recently treated in a rural Kansas emergency room on Halloween was surprised to learn that her zombie doctor...

ICD-11 to Feature Only Three Codes: Sick, Well, or Dead

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ATLANTA, GA - As the nation’s hospitals and clinics panic over implementation of the ridiculously unintuitive and immensely complicated ICD-10, a stealth council of...

Disgusting! This Patient’s Cranial Nerves Were Grossly Intact

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When you didn't think medicine could deliver any more heebie-jeebies, this clinic just received a large, overnight shipment of them.  Last week, per the...
fantasy medicine

Fantasy Medicine: Who’s Hot, Who’s Not

4
Before July 1, many of this year’s rookie class were considered average at best and were rarely selected in any rounds of fantasy leagues...
emr

The Fantasy Google Electronic Medical Record Vs. Reality

12
Maybe Google needs to be hired for the next generation of electronic medical records.  Most of us would appreciate these new changes.
sneezy

Sneezy Files $5 Million Malpractice Suit Against Doc

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ORLANDO, FL - Sneezy, a sickly member of the so called, “Seven Dwarves,” filed a malpractice suit yesterday against his fellow dwarf, Doc, for...
hypertension guidelines

Labile Guidelines: ACC/AHA Hypertension Cutoff Now 180/100

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Last month, several societies including the American College of Cardiology (ACC) and American Heart Association (AHA) redefined hypertension as greater than...