Primary Care

Barn Birthing Centers Gaining Popularity Across Nation

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BROOKLYN, IA – A new birthing option for expectant mothers is currently taking the nation by storm.  Barn birthing will soon supplant the water birth as...

Old Man Tired of Giving Medical History

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GOSHEN, MI - A local man with multiple medical problems decided to tape record his medical history to playback instead of repeating himself at...
cyborg emr

Apocolyptic Electronic Medical Record Becomes Self-Aware

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"And just like that, the world burned."  Those haunting words were discovered deep within a nursing note by hospitalist Kilty McSwagger while he was...

CDC announces that 100% of the world’s population will be over 65 by 2050.

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Yesterday in a stunning revelation, the CDC released a report which predicts that by the year 2050 the entire global population will be over...

Man Pretends to Have Heroin Addiction Just to Go to Rehab

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SAN DIEGO, CA - 37-year-old respiratory therapist, Jonathan Mildersten, like many other working at University Hospital, was getting burned out.  Pay was decreasing and vacation...

Fashion Police: Hospital Edition Weighs in on Fanny Packs

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In the most recent installment of Fashion Police: Hospital Edition, host Kathy Griffin along with commentators Giuliana Rancic, Kelly Osbourne, and special guest Jennifer...
iv pole medical student

In Cost-Cutting Measure, IV Poles to Be Replaced with Eager Medical Students

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BIRMINGHAM, AL - Earlier this week, administrators and health care practitioners at Birmingham Medical Center implemented a new cost-cutting measure that hopes to save...
patient satisfaction survey

Patient Satisfaction Survey Study Halted, Mortality Increased 238% with Patient Satisfaction

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LOS ANGELES, CA - "We have to halt this study immediately!" was a warning issued by lead researcher, Dr. Hans Willford from UCLA.  "Long-term mortality...
new medical interns

Hospital Eliminates July from Calendar, Decreases Mortality 3,000%

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BOSTON, MA - Hospital administrators nationwide are hailing a successful new effort described as “downright brilliant” to help curb hospital mortality by eliminating July from...

Physician Recruitment Ad Statements and What They Really Mean

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Ad text Actual meaning Established medical center is a state of the art, modern, newly renovated hospital   The MRI works 12 hours out of the week, and...