Local Doctor Consults Sauron to Create the One Pill to Cure Them All
“I was at my wits’ end with these chronic pain patients,” Local doctor Fro Doe told reporters. “They keep coming in over and over...
Hollywood Good Guy Matt Damon Opens Up About EBV Positivity
NEW YORK, NY - Matt Damon shocked medically illiterate TV viewers on Friday morning’s Today Show when he confirmed that he is positive for...
STDs Running Rampant in Sochi Olympic Village
SOCHI, RUSSIA – Apparently what happens in Sochi doesn’t always stay there. Olympic athletes have been going at it strong and GomerBlog is sad...
Veterinary ER Incapacitated by Doggie Psych Holds
DURHAM, NC - A local veterinary ER is currently open but essentially non-functional, as 8 of its 10 treatment rooms are occupied by suicidal...
Doctor’s Last Drug-Rep Pen Running Out of Ink, Future Prescription Decisions Uncertain
CRANQUISVILLE, USA - The Affordable Care Act of 2010 brought many changes to the US healthcare (insurance) system, and doctors have already felt the...
CDC Advises Robert De Niro To Be Sent To Jail Until Deemed Safe
ATLANTA, GA - Last week Robert De Niro pushed for the Andrew Wakefield (yes, that Wakefield) film Vaxxed to be screened. "We need to have the...
A Revolutionary New Objective Pain Scale Could Replace the 0-10 Pain Scale
The conventional 0-10 pain scale used as “the fifth vital sign” has made caregivers complacent in pain management. A new scale has been devolved...
This Store Provides Real Allergies to Get the Medication you Want
BEVERLY HILLS, CA — Natalie Speede-Faster really needed to get back on Adderall. Her stupid internist was “concerned” because Natalie always wanted a higher...
Hospital’s New ‘Therapy Monkey’ Program Met with Mixed Reviews
AURORA, CO – Three weeks after its launch, an innovative new ‘Therapy Monkey’ program at Children’s Hospital Colorado is being met with mixed reviews....