Primary Care

bad diet

Hospital Introduces ‘American Diet,’ Patient Satisfaction Soars

0
LOUISVILLE, KY - Patients and medical staff are abuzz about the University of Louisville Medical Center’s (ULMC) new dietary option: the American diet.  It...
fantasy medicine

Fantasy Medicine: Who’s Hot, Who’s Not

4
Before July 1, many of this year’s rookie class were considered average at best and were rarely selected in any rounds of fantasy leagues...
doctor prescribing

Doctor’s Last Drug-Rep Pen Running Out of Ink, Future Prescription Decisions Uncertain

37
CRANQUISVILLE, USA - The Affordable Care Act of 2010 brought many changes to the US healthcare (insurance) system, and doctors have already felt the...
hats

How Many Different Hats Can a Medical Provider Wear?

0
It's not uncommon in modern medicine for any given health care provider, whether it's a nurse, PA, or doctor, to have multiple roles or...
mrsa spider

Devious MRSA Spider Bites Yet Another Antecubital Fossa, Remains at Large

48
GASTONIA, NC - Following an all-too-familiar recent theme, a new patient was assaulted last week by a psychotic spider rampaging through the South. Earl Wayne...
lab test

New Blood Test Measures Serum A**hole Levels

79
BETHESDA, MD - Researchers at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) are giddy over a fantastic new blood test that can only be described...

Doctor Has Pseudoseizure to Avoid Patient with Pseudoseizures

23
TAMPA BAY, FL - Zelda Wilkins credits her “high pain tolerance” as the only way she can handle her affliction with pseudoseizures.  Despite frequenting...
pain in elbow

A Revolutionary New Objective Pain Scale Could Replace the 0-10 Pain Scale

26
The conventional 0-10 pain scale used as “the fifth vital sign” has made caregivers complacent in pain management.  A new scale has been devolved...

After Obesity is Classified as a Disease, Ralph Calls In Sick for the Fourth...

3
HOUSTON, TX – At United Data Centers Inc., a web development company, Ralph Summers has called in "sick" four times in the last month....
stubborn patient

Patient Looks Forward to Getting Admitted & Refusing Everything a Hospital Can Offer

0
ATLANTA, GA - For the third time this month and tenth time this year, Jason Reynolds, a 54-year-old male with epic levels of noncompliance,...