Primary Care

EMR Developers Shocked to Learn How Their Software is Actually Used

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Several developers of widely-used electronic medical record (EMR) software were invited out of their cubicles last week for a much-hyped tour of the real-world...
oxy coaster

FDA Approves OxyContin for Kids Tall Enough to Get on This Ride

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PHARM WATER KINGDOM, FL - Acknowledging the importance for safe medicine in children, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) recently approved the potent painkiller OxyContin...
vaccines

Big Pharma Admits They’re Just Trying to Kill Everybody with Vaccines

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In what is being hailed as a huge victory for the anti-vaccine movement, Big Pharma announced to the world today that they've...
glove intern millionaire

Fancy Pants Intern Throws Away Spare Disposable Glove Like Some Kind of Millionaire

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PORTLAND, OR - In an audacious display of waste and privilege, new intern Thomas Donaldson simply threw away a perfectly good disposable glove in...
diabetes

Major Hospitals Caught in Diabetes Scandal

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SUGARVILLE, TX - The Hershey Memorial Hospital (HMH) has been cited in a nationwide investigation by the CDC. The investigation is a result of patient complaints...
medical student

Medical Student Conducts History & Physical with Spanish-Speaking Patient Using Only the Word ‘Dolor’

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BOCA RATON, FL - Third-year medical student extraordinaire Gunner McBrownnose, only using the word "dolor," successfully conducted a complete history & physical encounter with...

Industrious Homeless Man Creates Hospital Room-Share Website

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BALTIMORE CITY, MD - Jerome Stanton an opportunist and venerate street man of Baltimore City has created an online marketplace for patrons to share...
narcos

Fifth Season of Netflix’s ‘Narcos’ To Be Set In Washington, D.C.

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SCOTTS VALLEY, CA - Seasons 1 through 3 chronicled the drug trade through Columbia, Season 4 is poised to go to Mexico, and it...
polypharmacy

Primary Care Docs Happily Handing Out Z-Pak Prescriptions to Coronavirus Patient

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CHICAGO, IL—Citing decades’ worth of experience using the drug to treat all types of viral respiratory infections, the nation’s primary care physicians (PCPs) are...
emergency room

Man in US Furious About Waiting 15 minutes in ER; Meanwhile Patient in South...

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DENVER, CO – 46-year-old Marcus Stillbee is furious after waiting for 15 minutes to be seen at the local Quicky Care Medical Center ER...