TSA Discovers Testicular Cancer on Local Man
NEWARK, NJ – At the Newark Liberty Airport TSA agent Dennis Brown discovered a lump on a local man’s testicle.
“I was just doing my...
Report: Essential Hypertension, Not at All Essential
PITTSBURGH, PA - Scientists discovered Wednesday that essential hypertension is not at all essential for life. "We were totally wrong when we discovered hypertension,"...
Physician Still Hasn’t Received Her Big-Pharma Payout
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Newly-minted attending physician, Dr. Lindsay Moliarty, has a pile of bills to pay: $200,000 in student loans that has accrued...
Physician Reprimanded for Overprescribing Therapy Dogs
RANCHO CUCAMONGA, CA – An Inland Empire doctor has been placed on probationary status by the Medical Board of California for overprescribing therapy dogs,...
Local Hospitalist Accidentally Writes Best-Selling Fantasy Novel While Trying to Change EMR Password
DETROIT, MI - Just last week, local hospitalist Dr. Blake Harrison came across a scenario that seems to happen every 20 minutes these days:...
Podiatrists Admit They’re Not Really Examining Patients, Just Tickling Them
TOEJAM LAKE, CA - At the 23rd annual National Podiatric Conference on Bunions, the board of directors voted 5-4 to admit what the public...
What ‘Thank You for the Interesting Consult’ Really Means, Part 1
Initial consult notes usually end with the following line: Thank you for the interesting consult. What does that really mean? In the first of...
Alcoholic Fills Out Negative Patient Survey for Care Received on Christmas Morning
NEW ORLEANS, LA - 52-year-old Milton Applewood, a raging alcoholic who visits Holy Cross Hospital on a weekly basis, was appalled at the medical...
Homeopath to Drug Seeker: ‘I Thought You Said Dilute It’
SEATTLE, WA - Friday, local drug-seeker Garrett Ashton was reportedly shocked to learn that his Dilaudid was not available for pick-up, and in fact,...
Spock: “Patient’s Demands for Dilaudid Highly Illogical”
STARFLEET - Mr. Spock of the USS Enterprise has informed Gomerblog that he finds his patient's demands for Dilaudid and other narcotics "highly illogical."
He confided...