Hollywood Good Guy Matt Damon Opens Up About EBV Positivity
NEW YORK, NY - Matt Damon shocked medically illiterate TV viewers on Friday morning’s Today Show when he confirmed that he is positive for...
Crisis Brewing as Unit 61’s Coffee Machine Broken
SEATTLE, WA - A huge crisis is brewing at Arabica Medical Center this morning as medical staff have discovered that the hospital’s best coffee...
CDC announces that 100% of the world’s population will be over 65 by 2050.
Yesterday in a stunning revelation, the CDC released a report which predicts that by the year 2050 the entire global population will be over...
ICD-10 to Include Code for ‘Dr. Oz Says,’ Automatic Trigger for Level 5 Visit
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The ICD-10 has recently added a last minute section to include codes for an epidemic that has been creeping into US...
Lineup Released for Boo-Boo Fest 2015
INDIO, CA - With an early morning Facebook post and Tweet, the Boo-Boo Fest Medical & Surgical Arts Festival revealed their highly-anticipated lineup for...
Amidst Obesity Epidemic, Task Force Creates Glasgow Food Coma Scale
ATLANTA, GA - In response to the public health crisis of food comas resulting from the ongoing obesity epidemic, the 3N Joint Task Force,...
Physicians Excited to Find Out Bundled Payments Are Literally Just Bundles of Cash
BALTIMORE, MD - In breaking news today, the Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS) reported that they are continuing their push toward bundled payments...
ICD-11 to Feature Only Three Codes: Sick, Well, or Dead
ATLANTA, GA - As the nation’s hospitals and clinics panic over implementation of the ridiculously unintuitive and immensely complicated ICD-10, a stealth council of...
Hospital Merges with Fast Food, Tobacco Companies to ‘Stay Competitive’
CHICAGO, IL - As you pass by the ER entrance at Cook County Hospital, the unmistakable aroma of grease, processed burgers, and cigarette smoke...
The Search for the Remains of Jimmy Hoffa Turns to ABIM’s Philadelphia Condo
PHILADELPHIA, PA - The decades-long search for Jimmy Hoffa took yet another an unexpected turn this week following revelations that the American union labor leader...