Primary Care

new planet

NASA: New Planet Discovered with Equatorial Volcano and Rivers of Lava

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a news conference held early this morning, NASA astronomers announced they have discovered a new planet next to Pluto with features...

86-Year-Old Man Finally Passes Swallowed Gum from Childhood

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CINCINNATI, OH – Last Tuesday, against all odds, 86-year-old Gerald Reynolds, finally passed gum swallowed during his childhood.  Experts everywhere have stressed to children,...
princess rubella

Disneyland’s New Princess Rubella

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DISNEYLAND, CA - Joining princesses Ariel, Cinderella, Tinker Bell and Bella, Disneyland in California has just introduced its latest: Princess Rubella.  Visitors to Disneyland...

The Days of Limitless “Allergies” Are Numbered

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WASHINGTON, DC - Americans have always enjoyed the right to have a limitless numbers of allergies, but after new CMS guidelines were approved this week,...
cookie cutter medicine

Canadian Medical Association Creates Clinical Decision Rules on When to Use Clinical Decision Rules

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ALBERTA, CANADA - After the Annual General Meeting of the Canadian Medical Association this summer, a majority motion is pushing a new initiative to...

Attending Answers Telephone at Nurse’s Station, Immediately Regrets Decision

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IOWA CITY, IA - Havoc struck the medical ICU this morning when 49 year old intensivist Oliver Reynolds inexplicably decided to answer a telephone...
homeopathy

Homeopath to Drug Seeker: ‘I Thought You Said Dilute It’

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SEATTLE, WA - Friday, local drug-seeker Garrett Ashton was reportedly shocked to learn that his Dilaudid was not available for pick-up, and in fact,...
doctor in er

Primary Care Physician Shocked to Hear Young Male Not Presenting for Penis Problem

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On Thursday, September 27th of the year 2018, Dr. Lauren Deeply Indebt received the shock of her life: a young healthy male presented to...
code placement

Dramatic ‘Code Placement’ Captured on Tape

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AUSTIN, TX - In breaking news, GomerBlog has received word of a dramatic “Code Placement” captured on tape on Unit 4E at Austin Medical...
medicine resident

Waiting Room Questionnaires Actually Giant Distraction

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - Doctor’s offices around the country use questionnaires and multiple intake-sheets in their offices.  Sometimes filling out these forms can take upwards of 40...