Primary Care

Hospice Agencies Pioneering a Different Approach to the Decidedly Unglamorous Process of Dying

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“Our clients customize their own End of Living Plans down to the finest details,” mused company spokesperson Delilah Banerjee. “Their final months, days, and...
gluten allergy

After Binging on Pizza and Beer, Local Man Claims to Have Gluten Allergy

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BERKELEY, CA – Local resident Charles Longfellow is no stranger to beer.  “A typical weekend I’ll go through a couple cases,” he told reporters...
sponge bath

New Patient Satisfaction Initiative Mandates That All Patient Baths Have “Happy Ending”

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CARY, NC - In a bold and unprecedented move to increase patient satisfaction scores, administrators at Our Lady of Chronic Narcotic Dependence Hospital outside...

Whole Foods to Offer Free Gluten Sensitivity Tests in Aisles

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HARTFORD, CT - In an attempt to further push gluten-free foods into the public eye, Whole Foods has added point of care celiac sprue...

Pain Detector Gives Actual Pain Score

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JERSEY CITY, NJ - A great new invention coined PAIN, short for Pain Acquiring Instrument Neat-O, is starting to be utilized in ERs across the...
pumpkin spice

Hospitals Now Offering Seasonal Pumpkin-Spiced Patient Satisfaction Surveys

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BOCA RATON, FL - Hospital administrators at Madre De Díos Medical Center will now offer seasonal pumpkin-spiced patient satisfaction surveys in order to improve...

Lyrica-Eluting Stent for End Stage Fibromyalgia Sufferers

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BERKELEY, CA - End stage fibromyalgia (ESF), affects 1 in 100,000 Americans nationwide.  They frequently suffer short employment expectancy, have one of the highest...

ER Visits Down 72% When it Rains, Trial to Focus on Healing Power of...

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NEW ORLEANS, LA – A multicenter observational study last year reviewed millions of ER visits and found that ER visits are down 72% when it rains....
An alcoholic dream

Alcoholic Fills Out Negative Patient Survey for Care Received on Christmas Morning

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - 52-year-old Milton Applewood, a raging alcoholic who visits Holy Cross Hospital on a weekly basis, was appalled at the medical...
gluten free meme

How to Become Gluten Intolerant

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Ever wonder how you can become gluten intolerant even if you don't actually have gluten intolerance or celiac disease?  We have found a video...