With Plug Pulled on Paris Accord, Planet Earth Eligible for Hospice
THIRD PLANET, SOLAR SYSTEM - Hours after the world learned of the United States’ intention to withdraw from the 2016 Paris Agreement, Mother Earth has suddenly found herself eligible for hospice. With her permission,...
Oh No! ZDoggMD was Attacked by a Lion on Live Stream
LAS VEGAS, NV - Looks like Healthcare 3.0 will have to wait. ZDoggMD was attacked by a lion on his live stream today. ZDogg wuz droppin' hard line after hard line about the problems...
Intake Nurse Report: Ex-FBI Director Jim Comey is Really Freakishly Tall
WASHINGTON, D.C. - According to numerous nursing sources who have taken his vital signs and other intake information, recently-fired FBI Director James "Jim" Comey's height can be best classified by the terms "absolutely freakish"...
Surgeon General to Reverse Opioid Epidemic with Whopping Dose of Narcan
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Acting Surgeon General Sylvia Trent-Adams has unveiled a new strategy against the nation's opioid epidemic, and it simply involves giving the United States a "whopping, several-million mg dose" of Narcan (naloxone)...
I-85 in Atlanta is Finally Therapeutic, Heparin Bridge D/C’d
ATLANTA, GA - Gomerblog is excited to report that I-85 in Atlanta, which collapsed 6 weeks ago for reasons that can likely be blamed on Anesthesia, finally has a therapeutic INR of 2.45, and...
Oh No! The House Just Repealed Obama’s Care, Now Barack Obama Doesn’t Have Health...
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The House of Representatives just passed the repeal of Obama's Care. Now it is impossible for Barack Obama to have health coverage. "I don't understand why they would repeal healthcare for just...
Nation’s Doctors Experiencing Intractable Nausea & Vomiting Due to House-Passed Health Care Bill
WASHINGTON, DC - Gomerblog reports that our nation's doctors have been experiencing intractable nausea and vomiting coupled with stomach upset immediately after the narrow passage of the latest version of the American Health Care Act...
CDC: Pictures Now Worth 2300 Words, Up from a Thousand, Time to Chart with...
ATLANTA, GA - In a development that may have implementations for charting and medical documentation and all the health care professionals lucky enough to do it, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)...
Starbucks’ Unicorn Frappuccino is a Colorful & Fun Way to Get Diabetes
SEATTLE, WA - Starbucks' new limited-edition Starbucks Unicorn Frappuccino, available only from April 19 to April 23, is a fun, colorful, and magical way to give a brand new demographic of coffee drinkers -...
CDC: “Don’t Forget to Check Human Orifices for Easter Eggs”
ATLANTA, GA - The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) would like to take this opportunity to wish everybody a "Happy Easter!" and hopes that today's celebration can be augmented by remembering just one...