Milk Fat Prolongs Survival of Government Dietary Recommendations
With the recent release from NSA data-mining archives proving that whole milk is indeed better than skim milk for cardiovascular health, dieticians throughout the nation are in a panic. Right and left they are...
Non-Confrontational Physician Reassures Patient That the Trichomonas Was Probably Just from a Toilet Seat
Not all physicians are great at breaking bad news. One perpetual waffler, Dr. Drew Stapleman, recently reassured his patient that the trichomonads infesting her genitals were "probably just from a toilet seat."
Nonplussed, his patient...
Clinic Handing Out Free Organ Samples
OXFORD, MS - Remember the good old days when you could get free drug samples from your doctor? Well, clinicians at Mississippi Health do. They’re trying to bring back some of the charm of...
Toxicologists: Spice Overdoses Falling, Pumpkin Spice Overdoses Soaring
TERRE HAUTE, IN - Toxicologists all over the country have noted a disturbing trend with regard to street drug overdoses: while overdoses of Spice seem to be declining, Pumpkin Spice overdoses have recently gone...
Health Experts Amazed at Diagnostic Ability of New WebMD Kiosks
CHICAGO, IL - A new plan unveiled by WebMD plans to take strain off of primary care physicians.
"This is undoubtedly the next step in accurate medical diagnosis, a huge step for medicine both as...
Ben Carson: Heart Attack Victims Could Have Survived If They Cathed Own Coronaries
DETROIT, MI - According to retired neurosurgeon and presidential hopeful Ben Carson, patients who have died due to acute myocardial infarctions or “heart attacks” could have saved their own lives if they had simply...
Chief Resident Regrets Decision to Serve Noodles During Lunchtime PowerPoint on Roundworms
ATLANTA, GA - “I have never seen so many people vomit their brains out at once,” said disappointed chief resident Frank Napoli as he focused his hollow stare into the middle of his desk,...
Mars Probe Discovers River of Essential Oils
WASHINGTON: Surprising revelations keep coming from the red planet, as NASA’s Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter (MRO) was able to direct one of the Mars surface rovers to a river it spotted last week. The rover...
ICD-10 Codes Are Out: What Do You Think?
ICD-10 codes are out. It contains over 14,400 codes for diseases, signs and symptoms, abnormal findings, complaints, special circumstances, and external causes of injury or diseases. We asked around the hospital to see what...
Tearful Reunion Between Fecal Transplant Donor & Recipient Captured in Video
BOCA RATON, FL - After years searching for the kind colon which gave her bowels a new lease on life, fecal transplant recipient Faye Cullsponge finally met Charity Brown, her fecal transplant donor, at...