fetal position

Tips for New Interns: How to Curl into the Fetal Position

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We can certainly feel for all those interns starting this month: their minds are spinning and their cardiac rhythms are just shy of V-tach.  We put together this guide to help walk them through a...
troponin bump

Intern Has Mild Troponin Bump Over Patient’s Mild Troponin Bump

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NASHVILLE, TN - After seeing her patient with chest pain develop a mild troponin bump up to 0.25 on this morning's set of labs, new Vanderbilt University internal medicine intern Melanie Izard has herself...
glove intern millionaire

Fancy Pants Intern Throws Away Spare Disposable Glove Like Some Kind of Millionaire

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PORTLAND, OR - In an audacious display of waste and privilege, new intern Thomas Donaldson simply threw away a perfectly good disposable glove in his first week on the job like some kind of...
intern physician worth it

July Intern Looks Forward to Finding Out This Isn’t Worth It

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CHAPEL HILL, NC - University of North Carolina internal medicine intern Warren Burke is about to embark on a long and exciting road, and today he confirmed with Gomerblog he absolutely looks forward to finding...

New Ophthalmology Intern Not Sure How to Spell Ophthalmology

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IOWA CITY, IA - It was a rough start to the year for first-year ophthalmology resident Tony Beamer, who was recently caught trying to spell "ophthalmology," the name of the specialty he intends to practice for the rest of...
spay neuter frightened favorite pen

Updated ACGME Guideline: Have Your New Intern Spayed, Neutered

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CHICAGO, IL - In an attempt to curb the difficult behaviors of new interns among other things, the Accreditation Council for Graduate Medical Education (ACGME) recommends residency programs have their interns spayed and neutered within...
decaf coffee

Rookie Mistake: July Intern Grabs Cup of Decaf Coffee, Defeats the Purpose Entirely

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NASHVILLE, TN - In a situation that can be described in no other way but shocking, neophyte July intern Elena Sanchez grabbed a cup of decaf coffee - yup, you read that correctly: DECAFFEINATED...
doctors teaching

GomerBlog’s Exhaustive List on How to Survive Internship

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Want to survive Internship? Follow these simple guidelines for success!! Page your attending and ask if it is ok to order Tylenol for a patient Use the charge nurse's computer station if available, preferably with your...

MRI Broken, Intern Forced to Hold Giant, Oversized Magnet

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BOSTON, MA - The MRI machine at Massachusetts General Hospital broke down today.  "We were really at a loss without an MRI in a major hospital!" Dr. Ruthaford told reporters.  "Luckily we were saved...

Intern Put Into Timeout Cage to Think About What She Did

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EL PASO, TX - New medical intern Lilah Pepper was placed into a timeout cage by her team on rounds earlier today as punishment, and sincerely hope once the door is locked shut it...