Thursday, March 28, 2024
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC: The Adjective of Pus is ‘Purulent,’ Not ‘P**sy’

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ATLANTA, GA - Yesterday, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) issued an important reminder to healthcare providers today, reminding them once and for all that the adjective of pus is “purulent,” not...
micu

Assassin’s Creed: MICU

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Ubisoft has done it again!  It is time for the next installment in the epic Assassin’s Creed franchise.  Gamers have enjoyed playing master assassins across various periods of time from Italy to the Caribbean,...
signed off sign off

Med Student Wins Award for ‘Best Suture Scissor-Cutting Technique’

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - Anna Sturgeon is this year's recipient of the prestigious award for "Best Suture Scissor-Cutting Technique."  She narrowly beat another top promising candidate on the merit of holding her scissor 89...
upset doctor

Things Residency Has Stolen From Me

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Sleep... many many hours of sleep. Meals... 3 meals a day now equals one granola bar and a cup of coffee. Time… Having time to have a bowel movement, take a shower, pee, shave my legs… Not to...
work burnout

FDA approves first novel drug to treat medical burnout

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TWISP, WA - The US Food and Drug Administration today approved Peaceaudi (Idongivafumab) injection for intravenous use for the treatment of medical burnout. “Medical burnout is a serious condition, which affects thousands of doctors across...
wound care don't care

ICU Fellow Inconsolable After Girlfriend Calls for Goals of Care Discussion

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NEW HAVEN, CT - It was supposed to be just a normal overnight shift at a prestigious Connecticut hospital when a hospital janitor found a stranger in scrubs, sobbing behind a bed in a room...
physician on toilet paper coffee sit-to-sh*t 29 seconds

Doctor Frantically Considers Options As He Realizes There’s No Toilet Paper Mid-Poop

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EL PASO, TX - Facing a crisis of unheralded proportions, medicine intern Edwin Veracruz is mulling over any and all options as he realizes mid-poop that there is no toilet paper (TP) in his...
doctor notes DVT PE

Charting is Independent Risk Factor for DVT and PE, Study Finds

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ROCHESTER, MN - Recognizing it is a form of immobilization in which health care professionals are unable to move around much, a study newly published in the Mayo Clinic Proceedings found that charting and documentation in an...
nrmp residency match

It’s a Match! Tinder to Replace NRMP Match in Residency Programs

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BOSTON, MA – With an increasing number of medical school seniors applying for The Match each year, residency programs have admittedly been looking for a better way to sift through the applications.  New data from...
foot mouth

Podiatry & ENT Take July Intern to OR to Surgically Remove Foot from Mouth

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - In a classic July intern move that would make Scrubs' Dr. Elliot Reid proud, intern Timothy Wilcox accidentally insulted a woman by asking her "When's the baby due?" even though she wasn't pregnant....