Tuesday, July 7, 2020

Surgery

tinnitus

Untreated ENT Patients Ring In Another New Year with Tinnitus

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NEW YORK, NY - Contented to spend the end of 2019 on the couch with all the television coverage of the Times Square ball drop on mute, the nation's untreated ENT patients...
urine foley catheter

Eco-Unfriendly Plastic Urinary Catheters Banned, Replaced by Paper Ones

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SEATTLE, WA—Following the successful mission to replace hazardous plastic straws with paper ones, environmentalists are now targeting plastic urinary catheters, hoping to swap them out for paper catheters. The push to ban the dangerous plastic...
dick prick urologist urology

Surgeons shocked to learn anesthesiologists have actual names

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The plenary session of the annual American College of Surgeons meeting was brought to a standstill last Saturday when the keynote speaker, Dr. Davinci, said that he had determined “to a high degree of...

Cardiothoracic Surgeon Identifies as Medical Student, Crushes Surgery Rotation

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When asked if she felt like she had an unfair advantage against clearly weaker competition, Dr. Beer was unapologetic. “I felt like a student in my heart so I was just living my true self.”

Plastic Surgeons Return from a Successful Trip Providing Breast Augmentations to Underserved Women

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OLYMPIA, WA- When Maria Perez of Huanuco, Peru turned 18 and still had small breasts her parents did not know what to do. “We were just so afraid that she would suffer from this...

Trojan Releases New ‘Bare Skin’ Surgical Gloves

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In an effort to diversify their market share, Trojan has unveiled a new line of “Bare Skin” surgical gloves aimed to maximize the surgeon’s comfort and operative satisfaction. The product has already been rolled...
spay neuter frightened favorite pen

Laparoscopic Training Box Septic After Practice Session with Interns

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An inanimate training apparatus, made up of a plastic box with holes to place a laparoscopic camera and graspers, is in critical condition after a practice session with a group of surgical interns. The...
physician on toilet paper coffee sit-to-sh*t 29 seconds

Bravo! Patient’s Continuous Log of Stool Measures 5-Feet Long!

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GREENVILLE, SC - With a swirl of stool in the toilet bowl resembling a generous piece of churro, patient Davis Adderley has just had the longest continuous log of stool in recent...

Doctor, Patient Miscommunicate: Doc Recommends Mayo Clinic, Patient Unfortunately Hears “Mayo Colonic”

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ROCHESTER, MN—Patients don’t always comprehend what their doctors tell them whether it’s due to language barriers, hearing difficulties or the use of complex medical jargon by the doctor. Sometimes these miscommunications are harmless, sometimes...

The Definitive Bone Rankings

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Globogym Headquarters, CA- It’s interview season for 4th year Medical Students applying for residencies and every area of medicine has a beloved question that every applicant is asked without fail. Each question...
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