Friday, July 23, 2021

Surgery

INR 0 ENT

ENT Changes Focus to Elbows, Nipples & Testicles

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ALEXANDRIA, VA - Saying 2020 is finally going to be the year where they really change things up, the nation's ENTs will be fully abandoning their traditional territories of expertise and instead...
aorta

Skilled Phlebotomist Draws Blood from Aorta

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NASHVILLE, TN - Warned ahead of time that the patient was a notoriously difficult stick, madly-skilled phlebotomist Mattie Stevenson pulled off a neat little trick and successfully drew blood from the patient's...

Tom Brady Suffers Congestive Arm Failure

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Foxborough, MA - In a shocking development that could spell the end of his storied football career, Tom Brady developed acute congestive arm failure (CAF) in the first quarter of the New...

That’s So Mean: Hospital Kitchen Sends NPO Patients Empty Tray

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North Portland, Oregon—The defiance of an NPO order, whether intentional or accidental, may have profound consequences, including worsening of symptoms and delay of surgical procedures. In many of theses cases, the patients simply had...
tinnitus

Untreated ENT Patients Ring In Another New Year with Tinnitus

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NEW YORK, NY - Contented to spend the end of 2019 on the couch with all the television coverage of the Times Square ball drop on mute, the nation's untreated ENT patients...
urine foley catheter

Eco-Unfriendly Plastic Urinary Catheters Banned, Replaced by Paper Ones

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SEATTLE, WA—Following the successful mission to replace hazardous plastic straws with paper ones, environmentalists are now targeting plastic urinary catheters, hoping to swap them out for paper catheters. The push to ban the dangerous plastic...
dick prick urologist urology

Surgeons shocked to learn anesthesiologists have actual names

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The plenary session of the annual American College of Surgeons meeting was brought to a standstill last Saturday when the keynote speaker, Dr. Davinci, said that he had determined “to a high degree of...

Cardiothoracic Surgeon Identifies as Medical Student, Crushes Surgery Rotation

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When asked if she felt like she had an unfair advantage against clearly weaker competition, Dr. Beer was unapologetic. “I felt like a student in my heart so I was just living my true self.”

Plastic Surgeons Return from a Successful Trip Providing Breast Augmentations to Underserved Women

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OLYMPIA, WA- When Maria Perez of Huanuco, Peru turned 18 and still had small breasts her parents did not know what to do. “We were just so afraid that she would suffer from this...

Trojan Releases New ‘Bare Skin’ Surgical Gloves

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In an effort to diversify their market share, Trojan has unveiled a new line of “Bare Skin” surgical gloves aimed to maximize the surgeon’s comfort and operative satisfaction. The product has already been rolled...