JACKSONVILLE, FL – Local mother of two children, Denise Jacobson has decided after much research that she will not vaccinate her children. “Research is so easy these days, with Google and Bing. I was able to find a lot of information.” Ms. Jacobsen has thousands of websites and Facebook groups bookmarked on her Firefox browser. She also has talked with countless self proclaimed experts who have concerns over vaccinations.
Ms Jacobson laid out her case: “Vaccines are targeted at diseases that don’t exist. I have never heard of someone having polio or rubella. Maybe I would get a vaccine for ear infections, my kids get those ALL the time. Mostly because their diet contains too much gluten, which I am trying to eliminate.” Sources say she claims her fear of needles stemmed from getting vaccines as a child which has given her PTSD.
She went on to describe how the safety studies on these vaccines are over a short period of time, 50+ years, and that she wants more evidence. “Do vaccines cause college freshmen to binge drink? Where is the study that shows they don’t?” She also claims that non-vaccinated children score higher on geography tests than vaccinated kids. “My Nathan beat Sammy on the South America geography test last week, obviously due to not having toxins in his brain.”
Denise’s friend Janet also weighed in. “I heard to make vaccines they take mercury and aluminum to kill the virus, and then they take the mixture and inject it into your child! No thank you.”
“Many famous people throughout history weren’t vaccinated including Jesus and He did just fine,” Denise referring to Jesus Christ, the man who was born 1,796 years before the first known vaccine.
Denise also made a reference to non-internet sources, “The Mom’s group we are in all heard about the kid on Oak Street who is a little weird. And I know he got vaccines just last month!”
Some parents, no matter how much pediatricians try to educate them, choose to believe the internet over their pediatrician. It also seems like the majority of anti-vaxxers are well-educated people, yet they choose not to believe in the scientific process and decades of research and instead, choose to believe anecdotes on the internet that support their beliefs while ignoring the anecdotes that counter their beliefs. If you’re a nurse, you can help educate these parents if you know of any.
You were expecting a serious dialogue on a satire website?
Because it’s the rich housewives who have way too much time on their hands and spend half their life on the internet surfing the latest “health” blogs. You know, that same demographic who presents in the ER with a runny nose and are convinced they have Ebola…
Fairly confident this article is a word for word excerpt from epi investigator conversations with every OC parent whose child contracted measles at Disneyland.
Independent research – is the that the kind where you study 4 or 5 years, do honours while learning to critically analyse the literature in your field ( knowing humbly of course that you don’t have the knowledge to comment outside your chosen field) and then a PhD, and set up in an actual research laboratory for 10 years, or the Google with the baby on your lap for a fortnight in between coffees and freaking out at gluten and GMO pages?
The number of awards given over the time cited by the commission was 1668. The number of vaccines administered over that time was 2.2 BILLION. The chances of a child being affected by a vaccine is less than 0.05%. If your child comes in contact with a person who is contagious with the mumps, they have an 80% chance of getting the mumps too, leading to serious medical conditions, such as sterility or heart problems. People also can die from the mumps. Your odds of being in a car accident are higher – but I guess you never drive your kids anywhere, right?
Even with all the BS surrounding the “Vaccines cause Autism” crowd, a lot of people are ignoring the benefits of vaccines. Autism might affect a child’s entire life, but that child would probably prefer to grow up and not die from something they could have been vaccinated against.
As a side note, Autism isn’t the soul crushing disorder that a lot of these mothers are making it out to be. Odds are, you know several autistic people and don’t know it.
wow. I joined this discussion because I was hoping to shed some light on the subject of why parents do independent research. I didn’t realize I would only be attacked with ignorance. I will be sure to join a better educated discussion group in the future
And if you were a nurse, you woukd know that millions of children world-wide die from not being vaccinated against preventable childhood diseases, while the number of people who “die from the vaccines” are infinitesimal compared to either those numbers or the number of children vaccinated.
But, then again, I very much doubt that you are actually a “nurse”.
Satire. Ever hard of it?
Satire? Heard if it?
Obviously not a medical nurse. Doctors don’t “bully” patients into getting vaccines. They present them with facts. If parents are stupid enough to believe shit that idiots on the internet tell them that makes them think that their doctors are “misleading them”, that’s their problem. And if you, as a “nurse”, are presenting this as the fault of doctors, you are a disgrace. Thank you for contributing to the misinformation that causes illness and death.
If you were truly concerned, you would be spending you time explaining actual facts instead of pointing fingers at the doctors who are doing their utmost to protect the health if their patients.
So, thousands of people with degrees and years of medical training or with PhDs in epidemiology or biology, after years of study, who concur with the CDC and World Health Organization on what vaccines are “whores to the CDC and World Health Organization”.
No. They are experts in their fields. But, apparently, your “opinion”, based on bullshit you read on the internet is what your “sticking with”. Good for you. but your ilk is killing and maiming children and others. Be proud of your stupidity.
Ps. I nearly died when I got Measles. I had German and Red Measles, Chicken Pox and Scarlet Fever in back-to-back epidemics in the early 1960s). I have already had one bout of Shingles (as a result if having had Chicken Pox as a child) which damaged the vision in my right eye. I still suffer nerve pain in my face several years after that attack. I will probably have more and mose severe attacks as I age. I had friends and families who contracted Polio. Some died and some were maimed for life. This was before we had the luxury if vaccines. So my “opinion” is based on a lifetime of seeing the effects of these diseases, knowing that scientific fact outweighs the “opinion” of movie stars who “read shit on the internet”, and morons such as yourself.
I’m not giving doctors a pass here…most of them are whores of the CDC
and the Pharmaceutical companies…All they have to do is read the
inserts that come with the vaccines…that list the ingredients in the
vaccines as well as the contradictions…which include all kinds of
possible effects, including autism and other diseases up to and
including death….
We do not have true INFORMED CONSENT when it
comes to vaccines, as they do not tell parents or patients about the
dangers of vaccines they are pushing. If they do not know this
themselves then they are not competent enough to dispense medicines and
vaccines….The Hippocratic Oath states…FIRST, DO NO HARM!
This may be satire, but if you’ve had and child that was injured or died because of vaccines, it’s not funny. The Vaccine Injury compensation program has paid out over 3 BILLION dollars for damages and deaths caused by vaccines!
This is my opinion and I’m sticking to it!
you’re the funny one aren’t you
I agree with Neely, should be nothing wrong with multiple vaccinations. There is some irritation from the adjuvants that are added, but this is intentional and otherwise harmless. The irritation stimulates the immune response to the antigen. And as Dr. Neely says, the vaccination process is simply mimicking what naturally occurs any time you are exposed to a new antigen. I worked in molecular immunology and this was one of my areas of study.
Sorry about you getting polio though, I don’t mean to single you out as an anti-vaxxer, just hoping to grant some clarity.
This is another classic anti-vax lie. There is zero evidence that giving as many vaccines as we do as fast as we do is harmful. This false argument of yours stems from a lack of knowledge about how the human immune system works. Our immune systems are exposed to several new antigens on a daily basis. A dozen or so more before the age of two isn’t gonna mess you up.
Are you a chiropractic nurse?
My grandmother had every childhood illness know to man except German measles and scarlet fever. She had polio. So did two others in her town. Grandma was the lucky one. She walks with a limp because her left leg and foot are shorter than her right. The other girl ended up in leg braces. The boy died when his lungs became paralyzed. But her hell didn’t end there. She ended up with hepatitis from the well water when my mom was young. All of these illnesses my grandmother suffered can be prevented. I know when I start having kids I will do everything in my power to keep them from going through a hellish childhood like Grandma did.
I used to live in an area with a large Amish population, and those who never went to public school didn’t have to be vaxed, although their religion does not prohibit it. I saw some very tragic and preventable things as a result. :(
I’ve met a few! I have one mom who told me the reason she doesn’t vaccinate is because , “my husband is an engineer”. Thanks for the insult to my intelligence, sincerely, your MD.
This isn’t funny. Children die from vaccines all the time and parents are no longer educated on the risks and benefits by their pediatricians. Pediatricians bully parents into vaccinating their children and the result is that now parents fear the worst and are forced to do independent internet research which may not be safe or accurate. Pediatricians should educate parents to help them make the best and safest healthcare decisions for their children and not criticize their choices. Then, perhaps, we would not have this problem. Oh and I am a nurse and a mother of 3
I’m hoping that when an Ebola vaccine is made available it is preserved with Thiomersal. Then we’ll see how dedicated they are to their cause.
Bag harder!
While I think that babies are getting too many vac. so very young, I just cringed when the first couple of paragraphs I read “I don’t know anyone who has had polio”…well honey, I had polio when I was 18 months old. It was the mid 50’s and I got it and so did another young relative. This was a disease that hit families every summer. And it is a life changing disease. (March of Dimes was started because of this disease. ) I was in a rehab center for a long time getting physical therapy so I didn’t drag my left leg. There were people who had to live out their lives in an iron lung. Polio is not gone……I sure hope your children don’t get it. Vac. should be given, but maybe not at the massive amount they pump into babies before they are two.
Jim Carrey
Still? This can’t be recent!
Why do you think there is no more small pox and other epidemic childhood diseases?? Because of vaccinations!
Please wake me up from this horrible nightmare. I KNEW people with polio–not good, not good!
Don’t bother man.. You can’t debate stupid
Did he demonstrate tracheal vomiting syndrome?
Bad idea
Good question!
It’s sad…. because this is supposed to be satire but it accurately describes the anti-vaxxers perfectly.
Sad that this is more real than satire.
I always believe in “natural selection”. You can try to convince a mom of the vaccine virtues, but in the end, it’s “natural selection” :)
Haha
Erin Norton
Amy Holthouser in light of your Disneyland/measles post. Enjoy some satire
Haha!! I love this blog.
Hannah Chambers Trickett when I saw you liked this page I was like NO WAY!!!!!!!!!!!! Then I read it bahaha
Bryan Wohlwend
I guess he was never intubated since the ET tube was always in his esophagus
Ignorance
Morons
Group protection only works when 98% of the group is vaccinated. Sadly with more and more people not vaccinating no one is protected and diseases are getting tougher. Yay…
Vaccine against ignorance and stupidity anyone?
That natural health news also declared that there is cure for diabetes and people can stop using their insulin… Posted on my ex friend now new enemy when it comes to science!
Allison Asbury hehe
How old are you lady.. Never heard of polio or rubella? You better do some more research.
Jenn Lynn
Kate Anderson Mittenthal
Why don’t there seem to be any anti-vax fathers?
Ваксинирам си децата. Избирам по-малкото зло и се доверявам на експертите. Защото, “да пази Господ от хора, които са учили… малко”. ;)
Mickey gave me the measles.
Anti-vaxxholes
Next she will put a man on the moon with a physics book!
This isn’t even satire! This is exactly what they say
Was eradicated in all but three countries. Unfortunately, one of those countries started a war and all of the refugees are wandering into other countries, bringing the illness with them. So, yeah, we still need to vaccinate against polio. Huge step backwards in the effort to eliminate it
Classic!
Virginia Stevens Thank you.. Hilarious. Love Gomerblog!!
Susan Bowen :)
Tyler Gill
Derek read this. Ha ha!!
Hear, hear!
And can they please stay out of metro areas during school vacations when they bring their clan in to town to annoy and pester those of us WITHOUT children
Seriously, what were the suburbs invented for then?
Classic diagnosis of BDS*
Sadly, there is no cure ( yet )
Symptoms include giving a child as young as two a mobile phone ( for safety ) and screeching ” My Baby! ” whenever anything bad happens to any child, anywhere within a 500 KM radius
* Baby derangement syndrome
So true, Allison!
So funny… But sadly a reality!
She’s looking up anti-vaccine blogs but never heard of polio?…I sincerely hope she never finds out…
And then blame it on Disney!
There are always two sides to a coin, and the anti-vax community is more like a twenty sided dice, as is the vaccine community as well.
Stupid!
Enjoy all the “naturalnews.com” links.
For Britta and Allison
You may be using the word “intellectual” incorrectly when dealing with antivaxers. More like pomp and circumstance and heresay battle. :)
Definitely avoid Disneyland.
Davi Arnold McCorkle
Then they should stay at home. And I mean, don’t go to schools, the grocery stores or anywhere else. Live off the grid in the country.
yeah but I mean I dont think I’ll last long enough to demolish them. It is the same thing when I do 2nd Amendment arguments… I get banned all the time :/
Just find one of these mothers on Facebook and comment that you vaccinate under one of their shared non vax articles and the other non vax mothers will come out in large numbers! Haha …true story!
Anti-vaxxers make me itch…literally and figuratively. :o
I was once such as these…. But then I wised up, vaccinated all my kids & became a nurse. Ironically, my oldest has autism- wasn’t vaccinated when it onset. So there you go.
Is dr Wakefield extubated yet? He may be seeing patients in the icu…..
The article failed to mention Mrs. Jacobson only allows other vaccinated individuals within a 2 mile radius of her child to provide proper “herd immunity”. Silly Mrs. Jacobson.
I grew up in the 1950’s, and my playmate’s older brother was in an iron lung. He was 21 and had just graduated from college when he contracted polio. His mother always had us visit him when we came over. Even though one of my kids had a bad reaction to shots, they always got them on time. Fever is a lot easier to treat than the effects of these childhood illnesses.
Mallory Thagard Hamilton
so someone posed onto my wifes wall, and it appears that I now have a worthy foe to engage in intellectual battle with over vaccinating
Let’s take ’em all to Disneyland!
Haha
Darwin Award potentials…
They are usually hanging out with other non-GMO, gluten free, water-birthing, stay at home moms. Herd immunity=0.
Ha this is funny, but sad to say I know a few like this
I errupted into anger until I saw it was Gomerblog.
I really want to find the non-vaccinator community… much like unicorns I have only heard of them, never actually found one in an area where I could debate.
Nathan Ale, I know you will enjoy this one!