MIAMI, FL – We could all learn a thing or two about generosity from Larry Jacobs. Today, in the true spirit of kindness, Jacobs donated not one, not two, not three, not four, not five, not six, not seven, but all 10 pints of his blood during a blood drive today at his local American Red Cross. Talk about clutch!
“The average healthy donor donates 1 pint of blood, but Jacobs is no average person,” said American Red Cross CEO Gail McGovern. “Jacobs, who is average in size but not average in heart, contains 10 pints of blood in his body, and he put others first by insisting we have all 10. This man is a true hero. Jacobs, what else can I say? He really is a remarkable human being.”
Jacobs wore a smile the whole time even while he was in and out of consciousness. Other donors, while heroic and generous in their own right, felt their one-pint donations were pale in comparison. Many of those present during Jacobs’ most generous of donations couldn’t stop understating how big of a heart Jacobs really has.
“He is a kind, kind man, and he has a huge heart, a tremendous heart, no question about it,” explained nurse Sylvia Essex, not surprised by Jacobs’ plummeting vital signs. “No, seriously, I’m pretty sure he has cardiomegaly, that heart is probably working overdrive since his body has no blood in it. Is there a way we can get a chest X-ray? an echo? maybe even a BNP and troponin?”
After the donation, Jacobs declined any of the usual refreshments but politely asked volunteers if there was any ice, soil, glass, chalk, or paper he could munch on. Jacobs looks forward to seeing what more blood he can give tomorrow.