WASHINGTON, D.C. – A new report published in JAMA (Journal Against Medical Advice) found the Food and Drug Administration’s plan to streamline the process of approving drugs has been made possible by removing the cumbersome step of reviewing any and all pertinent evidence.

“When we stepped back and asked what was the biggest hurdle in the FDA’s process of approving of new drugs for the market we found that reviewing clinical trials and their evidence as the major rate-limiting step,” explained FDA spokesperson Ira Brisk. “Over the past few decades, we have made good progress rolling out novel drugs based on weaker evidence. It’s time to take the next step forward. Evidence shmevidence.”

Without the time-consuming process of thoughtfully, carefully and cautiously analyzing the nitty-gritty details of clinical trials, the FDA expects to see the number of same-day drug approvals skyrocket. If it sounds good, it must be good, said one senior FDA official.

If this is indeed the case, the FDA will try to make a strong case for banning the use of evidence as early as 2021.

Dr. 99
First there was Dr. 01, the first robot physician, created to withstand toxic levels of burnout in an increasingly mechanistic and impossibly demanding healthcare field. Dr. 99 builds upon the advances of its ninety-eight predecessors by phasing out all human emotion, innovation, and creativity completely, and focusing solely on pre-programmed protocols and volume-based productivity. In its spare time, Dr. 99 enjoys writing for Gomerblog and listening to Taylor Swift.