ATLANTA, GA – Officials at the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) announced today that they believe the new vaccine currently under development aimed at controlling the rapidly spreading SARS-CoV-2 virus – responsible for causing COVID-19 – will be approved and ready to be utterly rejected by those in the anti-vaccination (anti-vax) movement and early as 2021.
“This is an exciting development,” said Dr. Eric Polsky, director of the CDC’s Novel Vaccination Department, “and we will work tirelessly to ensure all anti-vaxxers have the opportunity to decline, refuse, and reject this potentially life-saving vaccine as early as possible.”
The announcement has many in the anti-vaccination movement excited, including a local woman present at the press conference, who noted, “I just get such a thrill from ignoring mountains of scientific evidence at the danger of threatening the world around me, and the chance to do that by yet again opting out of a critical vaccine is just delightful.”
At press time, officials noted conspiracy theories about the not-yet-developed vaccine containing mercury were spreading on Twitter.
