Hipster Pulmonologist replaces Pulmonary Toilet with Pulmonary Bidet
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania— A local Pulm-Crit PGY4 said he will “never go back to traditional pulmonary toileting” after trying pulmonary bidet.
As he excitedly and repeatedly told his co-residents, pulmonary bidet provides better postural drainage and...
Pulmonologist Says Sucking Out Mucous Plugs is What He Lives For
BOSTON, MA - It's a rainy day. It's cold out. Dr. Bailey Corgan, a pulmonologist at Massachusetts Specific Hospital (MSH), is drenched and freezing because he forgot his umbrella. ...
AMA Admits ‘We Are in the Pocket of Big Oxygen,’ Issues Formal Apology to...
Anti-vaxxers, conspiracy theorists, naturalists, you had it right all along. Our rampant greed as medical providers knows no bounds. You have called us out time and time again for being in the pocket of...
Hypoxemic Blue Journal Oxygenated Back to a Healthy Pink
NEW YORK, NY - The chronically-hypoxemic Blue Journal, also known as the American Journal of Respiratory and Critical Care Medicine, has finally been adequately oxygenated and has now turned into a nice, healthy pink...
New Incentivized Spirometers to Pay $50 Per Deep Breath
ATLANTA, GA – In an effort to better encourage patients to do their breathing exercises, a newly-designed incentivized spirometer will pay patients $50 per deep breath - that's right: cold, hard, cash...
Intern Inadvertently Orders Negative Pressure Ventilation; Patient Placed in Iron Lung
DALLAS, TX - While placing orders on rounds, intern TooMany Orders clicked over to the Respiratory section in the hospital’s surprisingly thorough EMR. The patient was having difficulty breathing, and he needed to place...
Study Concludes That Anyone Who Understands Acid-Base is a Big, Fat Liar
BOSTON, MA - A landmark study in the latest issue of the Old England Journal of Medicine (OEJM) concluded "beyond a shadow of a doubt" that anyone who claims to understand acid-base...
A Step-by-Step Guide on How to Use Incentive Spirometers (or Marijuana)
Is this your first time using an incentive spirometer (or marijuana)? Well, you're in luck: our Gomerblog team has created this easy 15-step process to using your incentive spirometer (or weed). Don't be intimidated,...
RN Too Terrified of N95 Fit Testing Instructor to Admit Tasting Bitter Spray
COMMUNITY HOSPITAL - RN Maria did not speak up when her N95 mask didn’t fit properly due to feeling intimidated by her instructor, Cara, thereby forfeiting her one annual chance to learn how to correctly...
Breaking: Mr. Peanut Allergic to Himself
PITTSBURGH, PA - Unfortunate news today as the Kraft Heinz Company announced that one of its most beloved mascots, Planters' Mr. Peanut, has been diagnosed with a peanut allergy.
"This is a very unusual case...
