Primary Care

Fourthhand Smoke Leading Cause of Respiratory Illness in Munchausen Patients

0
NEW YORK, NY - The Association for Self-Diagnosis, affiliated with numerous major medical schools, has identified fourthhand smoke as a new threat to the...

Man Pretends to Have Heroin Addiction Just to Go to Rehab

4
SAN DIEGO, CA - 37-year-old respiratory therapist, Jonathan Mildersten, like many other working at University Hospital, was getting burned out.  Pay was decreasing and vacation...
lightsaber

Vader Pharmaceuticals Introduces New EpiLightsaber for Anaphylaxis

33
DEATH STAR II - In response to the growing prevalence of food allergies among employees of the evil Galactic Empire, Vader Pharmaceuticals have announced...
hand washing

IDSA Releases New Recommendations: Handwashing is Bullsh*t

0
ARLINGTON, VA - The world of medicine has been rocked early this morning with the release of new recommendations by the Infectious Diseases Society...
APGAR 10 Apgart Apgar(t) troponin troponins

Breaking News! Baby Scores Perfect APGAR Scores of 10 and 10

5
ST. LOUIS, MO - GomerBlog is on the scene of breaking news coming out of Busch Hospital in St. Louis, Missouri.  Initial reports are indicating...
abdominal pain

Hospitalist Becomes Own Endless Loop

24
In a stunning procession of events, nocturnist Angus "Kilty" McSwagger became the only known hospitalist to experience the so-called "admission mirror paradox."  Long speculated...
times square work note

Work Note Center Opens in Times Square, Deadbeats Rejoice

18
NEW YORK, NY – What’s all the commotion in Times Square?  Not another Naked Cowboy, it’s the new Walk-In Work Note Center.  Based on...
confused doctor

Patient’s Pregnancy Test Positive Despite Denying Sexual Activity; Obstetricians Baffled

0
A 15-lead ECG, two X-rays, an ultrasound, a full-body CT, an MRI with gadolinium, and still, a mystery. “It’s perplexing, that’s for sure,” said Dr. Jouseph...
iatrogenic injury fun run

Local Hospital Sponsors 5K Fun Run to Raise Awareness About Iatrogenic Injury

1
HAVRE DE GRACE, MD - After noticing several readmissions for falls, double-digit INRs, and recurrent nonischemic chest pain, hospitalists at Harford Memorial Hospital realized that...
miss universal healthcare

Miss Management Crowned Miss Universal Healthcare

6
BOSTON, MA - Miss Management of Hospital Administration has been crowned Miss Universal Healthcare, beating out Miss Hap of General Surgery, Miss Understanding of...