Primary Care

iv pca infusion pump WiFi

Patient Perfects ‘Sliding Scale Dilaudid’ Regimen at Home

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MONROE, NC - A North Carolina woman has invented a new pain management protocol for herself, and she has experienced incredible success with controlling...
dilaudid graph

Study: Dilaudid Administration Directly Correlates with High Patient Satisfaction; Narcan Not So Much

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BOSTON, MA - As many doctors and nurses have discovered the hard way, a recent study published in the New England Journal of Medicine...
elf getting sick

Collection of Hospital Holiday Decoration Pics

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We want to thank our fans for these hospital holiday decorations crafted with hospital materials (don't tell the hospital administrators), exceptional wit, and extreme...

Pain Detector Gives Actual Pain Score

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JERSEY CITY, NJ - A great new invention coined PAIN, short for Pain Acquiring Instrument Neat-O, is starting to be utilized in ERs across the...
recto-retriever

Recto-Retriever Approved for Personal Use

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COLUMBIA, SC - Proctologic Inc. announces the release of its new product, the Recto-Retriever.  The Recto-Retriever is an amazing, thrilling, and versatile tool that...
lawyers drinking

Proposition 46 in California Designed by Inebriated Trial Lawyers, Sparks Proposition 47 and 48

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SACRAMENTO, CA - A ferocious yearlong battle over Proposition 46 will be decided in California at the polls this upcoming November.  Proposition 46 includes proposals...

Attending Answers Telephone at Nurse’s Station, Immediately Regrets Decision

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IOWA CITY, IA - Havoc struck the medical ICU this morning when 49 year old intensivist Oliver Reynolds inexplicably decided to answer a telephone...
radiology

CDC Warns of Emerging Disease Deemed ‘Panniculolithiasis’

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ATLANTA, GA - The CDC has issued an advisory regarding a new disease being reported sporadically across the country.  There have now been over...

Hospital Taking Patient Satisfaction Scores Way Too Seriously

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CHICAGO, IL - "Simply outrageous," were comments expressed by physicians and nurses in regards to how hospital administrators were implementing new management policies at Mercy...
hospital holiday party

Work Holiday Party to Celebrate Another Year of Resignations, Broken Promises

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FREEHOLD, NJ - CEO John Watkins of Freehold Medical Center is set to throw another epic end-of-the-year holiday party for his hospital and healthcare employees...