Primary Care

blood pressure heart

Physical Exam Tips: The Heart

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In this series, we review the physical exam, the intermediate step in a patient evaluation that ultimately leads to imaging.  There are so many...
emergency room

Man in US Furious About Waiting 15 minutes in ER; Meanwhile Patient in South...

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DENVER, CO – 46-year-old Marcus Stillbee is furious after waiting for 15 minutes to be seen at the local Quicky Care Medical Center ER...

New CPR Guidelines Recommend Switching Out Providers Every 5 Cycles to Update Facebook Status

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ST. LOUIS, MO – The American Heart Association (AHA) conducted further research and has published the new 2014 recommendations for cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR).  Basic Life...
geriatric patient survived

Geriatric Patient Miraculously Survives a 4-Day Weekend in the Hospital

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NORTH PLATTE, NE - It was a true Christmas miracle for geriatric patient, Alfred Dwindles, when he found himself alive and without significant healthcare-induced...
patient in pain

Patient with 9 Listed Allergies and ‘High Pain Tolerance’ Actually Has a High Pain...

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TOPEKA, KS – Local ER Physician Dr. Onlee Cönsults claims he met the Great White Buffalo of ER patients during his shift last evening...
pediatrics vaccines

Local Children Against Vaccinations Despite the Evidence

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ATLANTA, GA – A growing trend is occurring among children across the nation: the rejection of vaccines.  It has been well documented that some...
princess rubella

Disneyland’s New Princess Rubella

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DISNEYLAND, CA - Joining princesses Ariel, Cinderella, Tinker Bell and Bella, Disneyland in California has just introduced its latest: Princess Rubella.  Visitors to Disneyland...
annoyed doctor stage 4 decubitus ulcer

20 Out of 10 Medical Providers Annoyed by Patients’ Misuse of Pain Scales

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ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study by the Centers for Pain Control & Other Nonsense (CPCON), a whopping 20 out of 10...
hospital cafeteria food

Hospital Cafeteria Debuts New Tasting Menu Format

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NAPA, CA - A hospital cafeteria in Napa simply called The Cafeteria has debuted a new three-hour $300 tasting menu format to supplant the...
laundry

After 25th Stain, Doctor Finally Decides to Wash White Coat

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NEW YORK, NY - Physician Joel Winters had not washed his white coat in over 10 years.  However, after acquiring a 25th stain today...