Primary Care

Patient Able to Get Dilaudid Just Before Leaving AMA

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JACKSONVILLE, FL – Michael Redmond - a patient so regular to St. Joseph Hospital’s ER that if he doesn’t show up for a couple days,...
vaccines

Big Pharma Admits They’re Just Trying to Kill Everybody with Vaccines

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In what is being hailed as a huge victory for the anti-vaccine movement, Big Pharma announced to the world today that they've...

Doctor Has Pseudoseizure to Avoid Patient with Pseudoseizures

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TAMPA BAY, FL - Zelda Wilkins credits her “high pain tolerance” as the only way she can handle her affliction with pseudoseizures.  Despite frequenting...
black cloud white cloud

The Difference Between White Clouds & Black Clouds

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Have you ever been labeled a white cloud or a black cloud by your friends and colleagues, and wondered what that meant? A white cloud...

Barn Birthing Centers Gaining Popularity Across Nation

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BROOKLYN, IA – A new birthing option for expectant mothers is currently taking the nation by storm.  Barn birthing will soon supplant the water birth as...
bad diet

Doctor Accused of Body Shaming for Recommending Diet and Exercise

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TAMPA, FL - In a stunning display of insensitivity, Dr. Byron Myrtle is in hot water over accusations of body shaming and cyber bullying....
patient in hospital NPO after discharge

Tips: How to Worsen Your Already-Terrible Bedside Manner

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You may find your bedside manner is pretty terrible given how busy you are and your general frustration with humanity as a whole.  If...
quitting medicine

Doctor Achieves Lifelong Dream of Quitting Medicine Forever

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“Finally!” he exclaimed, throwing his white coat, scrubs, and stethoscope onto a pile of logs. “I can’t believe I made it!” Meet Hunter McCutchen.  He...
lab test

New Blood Test Measures Serum A**hole Levels

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BETHESDA, MD - Researchers at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) are giddy over a fantastic new blood test that can only be described...

Local Man Presents to Urgent Care, Complaining of ‘Caulk Stuck to Hands,’ Oblivious to...

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SIOUX CITY, IA - Benjamin Dover, 43, a painter in Sioux City, Iowa, reports being greeted with "smirks and laughter" upon his recent visit...