Primary Care

rectal exam glove

Rectal Exam Nuisance: New Product Changing the Way We Look at Cheeks

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MIAMI, FL - A new product by Telameto Corporation has emergency practitioners cheering for joy.  The inefficiencies of the rectal exam will quickly be...
patient satisfaction

New Product “Doctor Sunshine” Helps Physicians Identify, Dismiss Dissatisfied Patients

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DURHAM, NC - A startup company based in North Carolina's Research Triangle is growing exponentially and getting rave reviews from doctors due to its...
cookie cutter medicine

Canadian Medical Association Creates Clinical Decision Rules on When to Use Clinical Decision Rules

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ALBERTA, CANADA - After the Annual General Meeting of the Canadian Medical Association this summer, a majority motion is pushing a new initiative to...
annoyed doctor stage 4 decubitus ulcer

20 Out of 10 Medical Providers Annoyed by Patients’ Misuse of Pain Scales

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ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study by the Centers for Pain Control & Other Nonsense (CPCON), a whopping 20 out of 10...
work burnout

After Another Horrid Shift, Doctor Calls Palliative Care on Self, Goes Home with Hospice

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ATLANTA, GA - For internist Karen Davenport, today’s shift was the straw that broke the camel’s back.  She struggled mightily as she was asked...
doctor texting

Hospital Staff to Use Social Media to Update Patients, Direct Medical Care

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PHOENIX, AZ - Hospital staff at Trinity Hospital are now required to attend social media-targeted family conference training and medical resource training.Hospital administrator Rob Hamilton...
colonoscopy

Breaking: Gastroenterologist Thinks Patient is Full of Sh*t

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COOKEVILLE, TN - A local gastroenterologist by the name of Baxter Jones completely shocked patient Mason Watts and his family when he flat out...

Commentary: Percocet Doesn’t Work for Me Because It Has Tylenol, and Tylenol Doesn’t Help...

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Thanks but no thanks.  Percocet (oxycodone/acetaminophen) doesn’t work for me.  Why?  Isn’t it obvious?  You’re the one with the medical degree and you don’t...
hospital emergency room boarding

‘Twas the Night After Christmas

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'Twas the Night After Christmas ‘Twas the night after Christmas, at the front of the house, The parents were lined up, all running their mouths. Neb tubing...

Attending Answers Telephone at Nurse’s Station, Immediately Regrets Decision

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IOWA CITY, IA - Havoc struck the medical ICU this morning when 49 year old intensivist Oliver Reynolds inexplicably decided to answer a telephone...