Labile Guidelines: ACC/AHA Hypertension Cutoff Now 180/100
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Last month, several societies including the American College of Cardiology (ACC) and American Heart Association (AHA) redefined hypertension as greater than...
Local Doctor Consults Sauron to Create the One Pill to Cure Them All
“I was at my wits’ end with these chronic pain patients,” Local doctor Fro Doe told reporters. “They keep coming in over and over...
Philadelphia Area Hospital Announces Program to House Homeless in Resident Call Rooms
PHILADELPHIA, PA - This summer, the board of Philadelphia City University Hospital (PCUH) plan to start moving the area's homeless population into permanent housing...
Physical Exam Tips: The Eye
Contrary to popular opinion, the eye exam can be performed by other health care providers too, not just ophthalmologists. Also contrary to popular opinion,...
Snoop Dogg Completes Geriatrics Fellowship
LONG BEACH, CA - After seemingly vanishing from the public eye for over a decade, former rapper Calvin "Snoop Dogg" Broadus announced that he...
Santa Uses Electronic Gifts Record and Screws up Bigtime
“It has been a disaster,” said Santa while banging his head against the computer monitor screen. “It has never taken me so long to...
Narc Madness
It's that time of year, time to pick your favorite narcotic and see if it will make it to the final 4! This year...
Rabies Vaccines Result in Doggie Autism According to Andrew Wakefield, PETA Petrified
HOLY SMOKES, NC - According to GomerBlog sources at GQ, it is true. Rabies vaccines cause doggie autism. The news came following a monumental...
North Korea Frantically Getting Rid of Expired Missiles Prior to Upcoming Joint Commission Inspection
PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA – The president of North Korea, Kim Jong-un shocked the world when he started launching missiles at a more frenetic pace than...
Doctor Calls Patient in Clinic to Get Her Off the Phone
HARRISBURG, PA - Ms. Rue D’Patient was entering the 6th minute of her phone call to a close friend. She was sitting in the...