Health Care Providers Unsure What That Bright Yellow Glowing Orb is in the Sky
CHARLESTON, SC - In an eye-opening new study published in the latest issue of JAMA (Just Another Medical Association), researchers at The Medical University...
League of Pediatricians Lobbying For New ICD-10 Codes: ‘Probably a Virus’ & ‘First-Time Mother’
In light of the new ICD-10 roll out, the League of Pediatricians has come forth with a mission statement set to dispel the requirement...
Texting on Cell Phone During ED Triage Correlated with Improved Patient Outcomes
CLEVELAND, OH - A recent multi-center observational trial involving several EDs in Cleveland have demonstrated that texting on one’s cell phone during an initial ED...
Millions of Americans Battling Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move ‘Elf on the Shelf’ Variant
ATLANTA, GA - The CDC has confirmed that a new anxiety syndrome has reached epidemic levels among parents nationwide. Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move...
Patient Satisfaction Survey Study Halted, Mortality Increased 238% with Patient Satisfaction
LOS ANGELES, CA - "We have to halt this study immediately!" was a warning issued by lead researcher, Dr. Hans Willford from UCLA. "Long-term mortality...
State Medical Board Disciplines Dr. Oz by Forcing Him Back to Clinical Practice
NEW YORK, NY - In a stunning conclusion to an ongoing debate about the future of Dr. Oz, the state medical board investigating him...
Administrative Storm Andrew to Bring Six Feet of Paperwork
BURLINGTON, VT - GomerBlog meteorologists report that the first major healthcare storm of the season, Administrative Storm Andrew, has already unloaded over three feet...
Hospitalist Becomes Own Endless Loop
In a stunning procession of events, nocturnist Angus "Kilty" McSwagger became the only known hospitalist to experience the so-called "admission mirror paradox." Long speculated...
Enfamil with Adderall Approved for Infantile ADHD
LEXINGTON, MA - Spiral Pharmaceuticals has paired with baby formula giant Enfamil to create the world’s first amphetamine-fortified formula, which will treat a newly...
Combative Little Old Lady Requires Record-Breaking 11-to-1 Sitter
SEATTLE, WA - Looks can be deceiving. 87-year-old Marsha Lynch may look like a lovely little old lady, but when she sundowns, she’s one...