Cosmo: Eleven Tips for Mind-Blowing, Incredible Doctor Visits!
Cosmopolitan magazine recently published “Eleven Tips for Mind-Blowing, Incredible Doctor Visits!” in a slight departure from its usual category of advice. With permission from...
New Blood Test Measures Serum A**hole Levels
BETHESDA, MD - Researchers at the National Institutes of Health (NIH) are giddy over a fantastic new blood test that can only be described...
Hospitals Now Offering Seasonal Pumpkin-Spiced Patient Satisfaction Surveys
BOCA RATON, FL - Hospital administrators at Madre De Díos Medical Center will now offer seasonal pumpkin-spiced patient satisfaction surveys in order to improve...
A Breakup Letter to the Z-Pack
Dear Z-Pack,
We’ve had a good run together. But, my dearest azithromycin, it is time for us to end our love affair. It’s not you....
Hollywood Good Guy Matt Damon Opens Up About EBV Positivity
NEW YORK, NY - Matt Damon shocked medically illiterate TV viewers on Friday morning’s Today Show when he confirmed that he is positive for...
How Many Different Hats Can a Medical Provider Wear?
It's not uncommon in modern medicine for any given health care provider, whether it's a nurse, PA, or doctor, to have multiple roles or...
North Korea Frantically Getting Rid of Expired Missiles Prior to Upcoming Joint Commission Inspection
PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA – The president of North Korea, Kim Jong-un shocked the world when he started launching missiles at a more frenetic pace than...
Study: Narcotic Script Has a 95% Chance of Running Out on a Weekend
DURHAM, NC – Researchers at Duke University have discovered that a typical 30-day supply of Vicodin or Percocet has a 95.3% chance of running...
Mars Probe Discovers River of Essential Oils
WASHINGTON: Surprising revelations keep coming from the red planet, as NASA’s Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter (MRO) was able to direct one of the Mars surface...
EMR Cures Nearly All Physical Abnormalities Per EMR Physical Exam
VERONA, WI – According to electronic medical record (EMR) manufacturer, Epic Systems, the implementation of EMRs has improved the physical exam toward normal in...