Statin-Infused Apples Daily to Keep Even More Doctors Away
WARWICK, NY - A team of farmers in upstate New York have successfully infused apples with 80 mg of atorvastatin in the hopes it...
Hospital with Low Survivability Submits Plans for New Employee Draft
DELAWARE - Recent published reports state morbidity and mortality rates are absolutely atrocious for Community Hospital. According to the US News & World ratings...
Census Data Project Power-Chair Riders Will Outnumber Pedestrians by 2040
WASHINGTON, DC - The Census Bureau released a mountain of data last week, and among the most interesting trends is the astronomical increase in...
Study: Laughter Truly is the Best Medicine, Except for Cases of Severe Diarrhea
SAN ANTONIO, TX – A new study published in The Medicine Journal demonstrated that laughter truly is the best medicine for medical aliments. The study...
Attending Answers Telephone at Nurse’s Station, Immediately Regrets Decision
IOWA CITY, IA - Havoc struck the medical ICU this morning when 49 year old intensivist Oliver Reynolds inexplicably decided to answer a telephone...
Breaking: Patient Taking Blood Thinner to Keep Blood Thin!
KEARNEY, NE - Kind Humanitarian Hospital's Dr. Naya Statin was in for a revelation when gathering medication history from a new patient Gabby Pentin.
"I see that...
The Fantasy Google Electronic Medical Record Vs. Reality
Maybe Google needs to be hired for the next generation of electronic medical records. Most of us would appreciate these new changes.
Breaking: Nice Patients Added to Endangered Species List
WASHINGTON, DC - In a move suggesting they are likely to become extinct unless something more is done to save them for future generations, the...
Lazy Eye Not Even Trying to See
TALLAHASSEE, FL – In an embarrassing show of pure slothfulness, the right eye of 28-year-old Christopher Chang has become so lazy that it won’t...
Physical Exam Tips: The Abdomen
Two things are needed for a spectacular abdominal exam: luck and an abdomen. The following review focuses on different aspects of the abdominal exam,...