Primary Care

CDC: Medical Noncompliance Actually Caused by Virus

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ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has discovered a new virus that causes medical noncompliance, thereby...

Man Cold Severity Scale (MCSS) Released!

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  The Man-Cold or Man-Flu can be a devastating illness for half the population. New guidelines have been released to risk-stratify these patients. An objective rating...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Advises Robert De Niro To Be Sent To Jail Until Deemed Safe

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ATLANTA, GA - Last week Robert De Niro pushed for the Andrew Wakefield (yes, that Wakefield) film Vaxxed to be screened.  "We need to have the...
medical student

Medical Student Conducts History & Physical with Spanish-Speaking Patient Using Only the Word ‘Dolor’

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BOCA RATON, FL - Third-year medical student extraordinaire Gunner McBrownnose, only using the word "dolor," successfully conducted a complete history & physical encounter with...
black cloud white cloud

The Difference Between White Clouds & Black Clouds

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Have you ever been labeled a white cloud or a black cloud by your friends and colleagues, and wondered what that meant? A white cloud...
state of medicine

Highlights From The 2016 State of The Medicine Address

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GomerBlog highlights the major points from tonight’s State of The Medicine Address given by the President of Hospital Administrators, Mr. Cutter Salary. Hospitals now...

Hospital’s Electronic Health Record to Be Replaced by New, Efficient ‘Paper Chart’ System

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NEW YORK, NY – Citing slow load times, confusing menu structure, and overall frustration with the user interface, St. Barnaby’s Hospital has announced that the...

Nursing Home STDs on the Rise, and I Just Threw Up a Little in...

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ATHENS, GA - "Simply disgusting," was one man’s response to hearing about nursing home sexually-transmitted diseases (STDs) on the rise.  "A little warning, next...
doctor patient

Patient Impressed by Doctor After Both Skim Over Same Website

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Local patient Sawyer Schmidt was reportedly quite impressed with the clinical acumen of his PCP Dr Roundhouse after an office visit to discuss CT...

Cardiothoracic Surgeon Dreams of Becoming Hollywood Star

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NEW YORK, NY - Prominent cardiothoracic surgeon Dr. Dale Enderwood had "an amazing dream" last night and he woke up wishing he could return to that dream. What’s...