Primary Care

nice patient endangered species

Breaking: Nice Patients Added to Endangered Species List

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a move suggesting they are likely to become extinct unless something more is done to save them for future generations, the...
Appointment shot clock

Clinic Installs Shot Clock Buzzer To Mark End Of Appointment Slot

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BOCA RATON, FL - In a groundbreaking move which could foster improved patient flow across the country, Madre De Díos Clinic spokeswoman Chlöe Less...

Big Pharma and Mega Hospitals ‘Scared Beyond Belief’ of Tiny Las Vegas Health Clinic

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LAS VEGAS, NV - An innovative and daring new health clinic has been recently launched in downtown Las Vegas.  Inexplicably called Turntable Health and led by...
multivitamins

New Multivitamin Cures Cancer, Heart Disease, Famine, Evil

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SAN DIEGO, CA - A new miracle multivitamin released by pharmaceutical company Pfizer last month has taken the world by storm as it not...
elevator ride

Conversation Starters While Riding in an Elevator with a Patient

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Elevator rides can be an awkward time for health care providers who sometimes have to spend up to 3 minutes standing in an enclosed metal...
doctor patient

Breaking: Patient States His Medical History Should “All be in the Computer”

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CHARLESTON, SC - Breaking News emerged today out of South Carolina’s Emergency Department of Save Us All Memorial Hospital (SUAMH). A 57-year-old patient arrived...
work burnout

After Another Horrid Shift, Doctor Calls Palliative Care on Self, Goes Home with Hospice

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ATLANTA, GA - For internist Karen Davenport, today’s shift was the straw that broke the camel’s back.  She struggled mightily as she was asked...
board certification

Joint Commission to Offer Board Certification

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OHIO - The Joint Commission announced today the creation of a pathway to board certification in Joint Commission rules and inspection practices.  "We are...
waiting on hold on phone

Fears Grow As Even More Doctors Die On Neverending Phone Hold

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ATLANTA, GA - The CDC released chilling statistics demonstrating an epidemic of doctor deaths while on endless phone holds.  "This is a disturbing trend,"...

Pseudoseizure: Please Practice Before Coming to the ED

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MILWAUKEE, WI - Emergency department staff at Elm Grove Methodist Medical Center thoroughly enjoyed the complete nonsensical seizure performance by a local homemaker. Carol Whitaker, 43, of...