Primary Care

milk and cookies

Update: Cookie Monster Leaves Sesame Street Hospital AMA on Christmas Eve

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SESAME STREET – As children around the world continued to hold candlelight vigils for Cookie Monster’s health, the shocking rumors that the muppet had left...
botox injection

Local Mom Meets Fellow Anti-Vaxxer at Botox Clinic

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CHARLOTTE, NC - Charlotte mom Sarah Catherine Murdoch, 34, was delighted to make a new friend after striking up a conversation with another patron...
abdominal pain

Hospitalist Becomes Own Endless Loop

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In a stunning procession of events, nocturnist Angus "Kilty" McSwagger became the only known hospitalist to experience the so-called "admission mirror paradox."  Long speculated...
waiting on hold on phone

Fears Grow As Even More Doctors Die On Neverending Phone Hold

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ATLANTA, GA - The CDC released chilling statistics demonstrating an epidemic of doctor deaths while on endless phone holds.  "This is a disturbing trend,"...
patient takes health

Breaking News: American Patient Takes Responsibility for Own Health

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CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA - During multidisciplinary rounds on a cardiology unit at the University of Virginia Medical Center (UVAMC), a glimmer of hope was revealed...

Family Practice Office Follows Airlines and Overbooks Clinic on Purpose

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After a recent travel mishap during one of his 8 weeks paid vacation, Primary Care Administrator Dewey Kaer was struck with a flash of...

Doctor Puts Tostitos Restaurant Style Chips and Salsa in Waiting Room, Business Booms

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Dr. Dufunk, while watching Dancing with the Stars with his wife, noticed during a commercial that putting Tostitos Restaurant Style Chips out in your...
rate my patients

Physicians Flock to New RateMyPatient.com Website

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SAN DIEGO, CA - A popular new website launched in response to RateMDs.com now allows physicians to review their patients, providing a resource for new...

North Korea Frantically Getting Rid of Expired Missiles Prior to Upcoming Joint Commission Inspection

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PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA – The president of North Korea, Kim Jong-un shocked the world when he started launching missiles at a more frenetic pace than...

Local Man Presents to Urgent Care, Complaining of ‘Caulk Stuck to Hands,’ Oblivious to...

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SIOUX CITY, IA - Benjamin Dover, 43, a painter in Sioux City, Iowa, reports being greeted with "smirks and laughter" upon his recent visit...