Primary Care

hospital emergency room boarding

‘Twas the Night After Christmas

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'Twas the Night After Christmas ‘Twas the night after Christmas, at the front of the house, The parents were lined up, all running their mouths. Neb tubing...
nursing home accident

Octogenarian Ejected in Grisly Power-Chair Accident

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BRADENTON, FL - The dining room at Shady Village Retirement Center was a hellish scene of twisted metal, blood, sinew, and mashed potatoes last week, as...
constipation

Joint Commission Creates New ‘Primary Constipation Center’ Certification

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OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - On Monday, the Joint Commission unveiled its new certification aimed at the rapid treatment of constipation. "Constipation affects nearly 4 million...
hospital cafeteria food

Hospital Cafeteria Debuts New Tasting Menu Format

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NAPA, CA - A hospital cafeteria in Napa simply called The Cafeteria has debuted a new three-hour $300 tasting menu format to supplant the...

Hospital Gets Sexy as Overhead Speakers Start Playing a Little Marvin Gaye

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ATLANTA, GA - Time to slow things down... real… slow… and heat things up.  There’s a different feeling in the air at Georgia Medical...
dogs in cage at er

Veterinary ER Incapacitated by Doggie Psych Holds

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DURHAM, NC - A local veterinary ER is currently open but essentially non-functional, as 8 of its 10 treatment rooms are occupied by suicidal...
hospital credentialing

Hospital Makes Ultimate Economic Move: Quits Credentialing Doctors

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In a surprising move today, Nevercare General Hospital announced that it will close its medical staff office and stop credentialing doctors. "It only makes sense," said...
pulmonary fellow

Patient Surprised to Learn Zombie Doctor Not in Costume

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HOLTON, KS - An area woman, recently treated in a rural Kansas emergency room on Halloween was surprised to learn that her zombie doctor...
sexual harassment in hospital

Avoiding Sexual Harassment Charges on the Job

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With the arrest of a prominent emergency medicine physician in Manhattan for the alleged sexual abuse of patients in his care, it’s more important...
pregnancy

Vaccinations Now Definitively Linked to Pregnancy

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BOSTON, MA - A new study just published in the Old England Journal of Medicine now definitively links childhood vaccinations to pregnancy. Jenny McCarthy,...