Primary Care

milk and cookies

Update: Cookie Monster Leaves Sesame Street Hospital AMA on Christmas Eve

16
SESAME STREET – As children around the world continued to hold candlelight vigils for Cookie Monster’s health, the shocking rumors that the muppet had left...
pregnancy

Vaccinations Now Definitively Linked to Pregnancy

0
BOSTON, MA - A new study just published in the Old England Journal of Medicine now definitively links childhood vaccinations to pregnancy. Jenny McCarthy,...
Spock Star Trek

Spock: “Patient’s Demands for Dilaudid Highly Illogical”

0
STARFLEET - Mr. Spock of the USS Enterprise has informed Gomerblog that he finds his patient's demands for Dilaudid and other narcotics "highly illogical." He confided...
emr

The Fantasy Google Electronic Medical Record Vs. Reality

12
Maybe Google needs to be hired for the next generation of electronic medical records.  Most of us would appreciate these new changes.

Patient Stuck in Endless ‘Clearance’ Referral Pattern, Hasn’t Had Surgery in 6 Years

0
Mr. Smith, a 67-year-old man with a fair number of medical problems, has been trying to be medically cleared for an inguinal hernia operation...

New CPR Guidelines Recommend Switching Out Providers Every 5 Cycles to Update Facebook Status

1
ST. LOUIS, MO – The American Heart Association (AHA) conducted further research and has published the new 2014 recommendations for cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR).  Basic Life...
urgent care monkey

Urgent Care Trains Monkey to Dispense Z-Paks, Send Patients to ER

74
CHARLOTTE, NC - An urgent care clinic in Charlotte is the talk of the industry after piloting a new program meant to lower costs...

Man ‘Accidentally Falls’ on Gerbil That Ran Through Lube

4
MEMPHIS, TN – A local resident presented to the emergency room with an unusual complaint this evening.  Chief complaint: "My bottom really hurts." At first he was...
black cloud white cloud

The Difference Between White Clouds & Black Clouds

0
Have you ever been labeled a white cloud or a black cloud by your friends and colleagues, and wondered what that meant? A white cloud...

Prior Authorization Now Requires Prior Authorization

0
WASHINGTON, DC - Prior authorization - the time-sink, inefficient, and soul-sucking process used by health insurance agencies to determine and eventually deny coverage for...