Primary Care

santa claus stuck

Santa Claus In Serious Condition After Chimney Incident & Sleep Apnea Complications

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THE NORTH POLE - GomerBlog can confirm that Santa Claus is recovering, but remains in serious condition, at North Pole Community Hospital after an incident when...

Local Health System Admits to Scaring Away Older Physicians with Technology

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LAS VEGAS, NV - When faced with the difficult work of encouraging some older, higher paid doctors to retire (so they could be replaced...
doctors moving

Florida Physicians Open Moving Company: Two Docs and a Box

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FT. LAUDERDALE, FL - Andrew DiCampo and Berger Winsome are your typical industrious and honest physicians who set out to build their primary care...

Psychic Hired to Read Patients’ Minds, Doctor Visit Time Reduced

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BATON ROUGE, LA -- Do you think doctors ask weird questions—like “Do you have any problems with your kidneys?” Or ones that are hard...
traffic jam Flonase

Public Flees California in Droves Due to Dilaudid Shortage

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CALIFORNIA - As a result of a statewide shortage of the popular IV opioid pain medication, Dilaudid, a mass emigration of people away from...
elf on shelf

Millions of Americans Battling Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move ‘Elf on the Shelf’ Variant

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ATLANTA, GA - The CDC has confirmed that a new anxiety syndrome has reached epidemic levels among parents nationwide.  Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move...
placebo pill

Pharma on the Search for Second Generation Placebo

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After decades of clinical drug trials involving placebos,Placebo pills now have too many side effects.  We need a second generation placebo pill the pharmaceutical...

Social-Histories Improve Markedly Following Social Media Data Hack

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Medical institutions across the nation have noticed a dramatic increase in the social history accuracy of their medical records over the past month, following...

86-Year-Old Man Finally Passes Swallowed Gum from Childhood

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CINCINNATI, OH – Last Tuesday, against all odds, 86-year-old Gerald Reynolds, finally passed gum swallowed during his childhood.  Experts everywhere have stressed to children,...

Doctor Has Pseudoseizure to Avoid Patient with Pseudoseizures

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TAMPA BAY, FL - Zelda Wilkins credits her “high pain tolerance” as the only way she can handle her affliction with pseudoseizures.  Despite frequenting...