Avoiding Sexual Harassment Charges on the Job
With the arrest of a prominent emergency medicine physician in Manhattan for the alleged sexual abuse of patients in his care, it’s more important...
Man ‘Accidentally Falls’ on Gerbil That Ran Through Lube
MEMPHIS, TN – A local resident presented to the emergency room with an unusual complaint this evening. Chief complaint: "My bottom really hurts."
At first he was...
EMR Cures Nearly All Physical Abnormalities Per EMR Physical Exam
VERONA, WI – According to electronic medical record (EMR) manufacturer, Epic Systems, the implementation of EMRs has improved the physical exam toward normal in...
CDC announces that 100% of the world’s population will be over 65 by 2050.
Yesterday in a stunning revelation, the CDC released a report which predicts that by the year 2050 the entire global population will be over...
DaVinci Code Solved by Doctors Searching Through ICD-10
Stored in argon-filled glass booths guarded over by monks in the cavernous secret library below the Center for Medicare Services, exist a series of...
Labile Guidelines: ACC/AHA Hypertension Cutoff Now 180/100
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Last month, several societies including the American College of Cardiology (ACC) and American Heart Association (AHA) redefined hypertension as greater than...
Patient Continues to Insist He Suffers from “The Gouch,” Not Gout
NEW YORK, NY - Larry McCarthy is a 65-year-old gentleman who doesn’t believe in the classic food pyramid; he believes in meat and alcohol...
Doc McStuffins Caught Sleeping with Lambie, License Suspended
SACRAMENTO, CA - The Medical Board of California suspended the license of Dottie "Doc" McStuffins after allegations arose that she conducted an inappropriate relationship with...
86-Year-Old Man Finally Passes Swallowed Gum from Childhood
CINCINNATI, OH – Last Tuesday, against all odds, 86-year-old Gerald Reynolds, finally passed gum swallowed during his childhood. Experts everywhere have stressed to children,...
Lyrica-Eluting Stent for End Stage Fibromyalgia Sufferers
BERKELEY, CA - End stage fibromyalgia (ESF), affects 1 in 100,000 Americans nationwide. They frequently suffer short employment expectancy, have one of the highest...