Disgusting! This Patient’s Cranial Nerves Were Grossly Intact
When you didn't think medicine could deliver any more heebie-jeebies, this clinic just received a large, overnight shipment of them. Last week, per the...
HDL Cholesterol Breaks Bad, Tired of Always Being the “Good” On
ALBUQUERQUE, NM—High-density lipoprotein (HDL) cholesterol, the so-called “good” cholesterol that helpfully clears away cholesterol deposits from arteries, is tired of always being the good...
New Smartphone App + Selfie Stick Allows Patients to Take Own X-Rays at Home
CUPERTINO, CA - The telemedicine boom is poised to become an explosion, as a new app allows smartphone users to take their own x-rays with...
Update: Cookie Monster Leaves Sesame Street Hospital AMA on Christmas Eve
SESAME STREET – As children around the world continued to hold candlelight vigils for Cookie Monster’s health, the shocking rumors that the muppet had left...
Pregnant Patient Further Shocked When Told NuvaRing Not Meant to Be Worn on Finger
MOBILE, AL – Fighting back tears at a press conference last Saturday, Lisa Marie Bamberger told reporters she was “stunned with disbelief” in regards to...
Doctor Confused by Record Number of Honest Patients
SACRAMENTO, CA - In a truly unusual streak of luck, Dr. Joy Arbor of Sacramento Family Health had all honest patients on her panel...
NFL Grants Seahawks’ Team Physician Access to Randomly Check Brady’s Balls
NEW YORK, NY - NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell announced yesterday his plan to address the New England Patriots’ latest veiled attempt to bend league rules to...
Santa Uses Electronic Gifts Record and Screws up Bigtime
“It has been a disaster,” said Santa while banging his head against the computer monitor screen. “It has never taken me so long to...
Doctor Calls Patient in Clinic to Get Her Off the Phone
HARRISBURG, PA - Ms. Rue D’Patient was entering the 6th minute of her phone call to a close friend. She was sitting in the...
Local Hospitalist Accidentally Writes Best-Selling Fantasy Novel While Trying to Change EMR Password
DETROIT, MI - Just last week, local hospitalist Dr. Blake Harrison came across a scenario that seems to happen every 20 minutes these days:...