PGA Pro Becomes Hospital Administrator to Make More Money, Play More Golf
SCOTTSDALE, AZ - After three mediocre years on the Tour, 28-year-old PGA pro Blake Johnson announced that he is calling it quits and starting...
Depressed Skull Fracture Patient Started on Zoloft Drip, Psychiatry Referral
ALBINA, OR - An area resident covering the ED recently treated a patient with chief complaint of "depressed skull fracture," by prescribing IV sertraline...
NASA: New Planet Discovered with Equatorial Volcano and Rivers of Lava
WASHINGTON, D.C. - In a news conference held early this morning, NASA astronomers announced they have discovered a new planet next to Pluto with features...
20 Out of 10 Medical Providers Annoyed by Patients’ Misuse of Pain Scales
ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study by the Centers for Pain Control & Other Nonsense (CPCON), a whopping 20 out of 10...
Rivalry Between Family Practitioner and Podiatrist Linked Back to One Case of Foot Fungus
MEDIA, PA - Tempers continue to flare in a small suburban town even after local researchers discovered that the origin of the now infamous rivalry...
Millions of Americans Battling Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move ‘Elf on the Shelf’ Variant
ATLANTA, GA - The CDC has confirmed that a new anxiety syndrome has reached epidemic levels among parents nationwide. Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move...
Joint Commission Creates New ‘Primary Constipation Center’ Certification
OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - On Monday, the Joint Commission unveiled its new certification aimed at the rapid treatment of constipation.
"Constipation affects nearly 4 million...
Man ‘Accidentally Falls’ on Gerbil That Ran Through Lube
MEMPHIS, TN – A local resident presented to the emergency room with an unusual complaint this evening. Chief complaint: "My bottom really hurts."
At first he was...
Average American Healthcare Consumer Believes Death is Curable
ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study published in the Annals of External Medicine (AEM), it is reported that the average American health...
New Littmann Stethoscope Allows You to Hear One’s Thoughts
ST. PAUL, MN - Manufacturer 3M has released a new Littman Mind-Reading I Stethoscope for health care practitioners to help diagnose someone else’s thoughts,...