Public Flees California in Droves Due to Dilaudid Shortage
CALIFORNIA - As a result of a statewide shortage of the popular IV opioid pain medication, Dilaudid, a mass emigration of people away from...
Local Woman: ‘I Need All My Labs Drawn’
EAST LANSING, MI – Local patient Sheryl Harris came to clinic today with a chief complaint of "I need all my labs drawn."
When questioned...
Reality Star Doc McStuffins Opens Up About Physician Burnout
ALBANY, NY - A stack of unfinished charts. Overturned juice boxes. An exhausted young physician, asleep on her desk, is awoken suddenly by her...
Hospital Taking Patient Satisfaction Scores Way Too Seriously
CHICAGO, IL - "Simply outrageous," were comments expressed by physicians and nurses in regards to how hospital administrators were implementing new management policies at Mercy...
Old Man Tired of Giving Medical History
GOSHEN, MI - A local man with multiple medical problems decided to tape record his medical history to playback instead of repeating himself at...
Major Hospitals Caught in Diabetes Scandal
SUGARVILLE, TX - The Hershey Memorial Hospital (HMH) has been cited in a nationwide investigation by the CDC.
The investigation is a result of patient complaints...
CDC Confirms Ebola Transmitted Via Patient Satisfaction Surveys
ATLANTA, GA - Yesterday, the CDC finally established a link explaining a frightening and puzzling Ebola case. A patient with no known Ebola exposures in...
Mayo Secretly Celebrates New #1 Status After Cleveland Clinic Comes Out Anti-Vax
ROCHESTER, MN - The Mayo Clinic recently held a campus-wide party this weekend full of "Number 1" balloons and cakes that said "Mayo #1". ...
Apocolyptic Electronic Medical Record Becomes Self-Aware
"And just like that, the world burned." Those haunting words were discovered deep within a nursing note by hospitalist Kilty McSwagger while he was...
New Patient Satisfaction Initiative Mandates That All Patient Baths Have “Happy Ending”
CARY, NC - In a bold and unprecedented move to increase patient satisfaction scores, administrators at Our Lady of Chronic Narcotic Dependence Hospital outside...