Primary Care

kentucky derby

Kentucky Derby Will Include a Hospital Specialty ‘Race for the Roses’ at Churchill Downs

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LOUISVILLE, KY - With the Kentucky Derby just around the corner, excitement is mounting for all the festivities and races.  Many of the races...
grandma reindeer

Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer, Remains in Critical Condition

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OUTSIDE IN THE SNOW SOMEWHERE - GomerBlog is sad to report that Grandma was “found down” 3 days before Christmas during potential Santa Claus test...

After Obesity is Classified as a Disease, Ralph Calls In Sick for the Fourth...

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HOUSTON, TX – At United Data Centers Inc., a web development company, Ralph Summers has called in "sick" four times in the last month....
Hilton Hospital

New Burger King and Hilton Hospital to Open

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CHICAGO, IL - Burger King and Hilton have merged together and plan to finish construction shortly on a new state of the art hotel,...
doctors and surgeons yelling

Report from ACP Internal Medicine Conference: Record Attendance by Internists Leaves Surgeons Struggling to...

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BOSTON, MA - GomerBlog is on hand to report that a record number of internists and hospitalists have attended this year’s American College of...

Inventor of Slogan ‘Pain is the 5th Vital Sign’ Now Concedes Pain is Actually...

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NEW YORK, NY - Last night, in an emotional interview with Dateline NBC, Lisa Washington, who famously coined the term "Pain is the 5th Vital...
need coffee

Crisis Brewing as Unit 61’s Coffee Machine Broken

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SEATTLE, WA - A huge crisis is brewing at Arabica Medical Center this morning as medical staff have discovered that the hospital’s best coffee...

Thor Spotted Crushing Reflexes with Mighty Hammer

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ASGARD – According to witnesses, Thor, Norse God of Thunder, was recently spotted at a local hospital crushing patellar tendons with his mighty new...
trump

If Elected, Trump to Appoint Jenny McCarthy as Surgeon General

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NEW YORK, NY - In a move which further establishes his anti-vaccine stance, Donald Trump announced yesterday that, if elected, he plans to appoint...
hospital cafeteria food

Hospital Cafeteria Debuts New Tasting Menu Format

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NAPA, CA - A hospital cafeteria in Napa simply called The Cafeteria has debuted a new three-hour $300 tasting menu format to supplant the...