Primary Care

princess rubella

Disneyland’s New Princess Rubella

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DISNEYLAND, CA - Joining princesses Ariel, Cinderella, Tinker Bell and Bella, Disneyland in California has just introduced its latest: Princess Rubella.  Visitors to Disneyland...
patient cocoon

Medical Team Unable to Penetrate Patient’s Protective Blanket Cocoon

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - “I think it’s alive,” whispered intern Jason McCarren to nurse Mya Roberts, both at the patient’s bedside puzzled. “Are you sure?”...

Report: Essential Hypertension, Not at All Essential

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PITTSBURGH, PA - Scientists discovered Wednesday that essential hypertension is not at all essential for life.  "We were totally wrong when we discovered hypertension,"...

Low | A Clinic Jam | ZDoggMD

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Shorty had them apple bottom scrubs, crocs with tha' furrrrrr... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9JebtfG4180 Join the outpatient Health 3.0 revolution at http://facebook.com/zdoggmd Single available on iTunes, Amazon, and more: http://itunes.apple.com/album/id11619...
constipation

Joint Commission Creates New ‘Primary Constipation Center’ Certification

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OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - On Monday, the Joint Commission unveiled its new certification aimed at the rapid treatment of constipation. "Constipation affects nearly 4 million...
drone Santa hospitalized

Trump Proposes ‘Depo Drones’ as Means to Curb Welfare Expenditures

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NEW YORK, NY -  Presidential-hopeful Donald Trump continues to make noise as the GOP front runner, as he yesterday announced a novel, if not...

HDL Cholesterol Breaks Bad, Tired of Always Being the “Good” On

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ALBUQUERQUE, NM—High-density lipoprotein (HDL) cholesterol, the so-called “good” cholesterol that helpfully clears away cholesterol deposits from arteries, is tired of always being the good...
medical pager

Anatomy of a Pager

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Other anatomy lessons: - Anatomy of a Contact Precaution Stethoscope - Anatomy of an American Football - Anatomy of the Ear
strange and awkward doctor

Call Room Passion Described as ‘Awkward,’ ‘Sweaty’

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PITTSBURGH, PA - Dr. Samantha Brown, a newly-minted emergency medicine resident, was 7 weeks into residency before she had her first major disappointment of...
annoyed doctor stage 4 decubitus ulcer

20 Out of 10 Medical Providers Annoyed by Patients’ Misuse of Pain Scales

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ATLANTA, GA - According to a new study by the Centers for Pain Control & Other Nonsense (CPCON), a whopping 20 out of 10...