Primary Care

geriatric fellowship

Snoop Dogg Completes Geriatrics Fellowship

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LONG BEACH, CA - After seemingly vanishing from the public eye for over a decade, former rapper Calvin "Snoop Dogg" Broadus announced that he...
mars essential oils

Mars Probe Discovers River of Essential Oils

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WASHINGTON:  Surprising revelations keep coming from the red planet, as NASA’s Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter (MRO) was able to direct one of the Mars surface...
upset mother

Mother Furious With OB Nurse Who Mispronounced Her Baby’s Name

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PORTLAND, OR - "Simply Outrageous!"  Those were comments on a patient survey card by a mother regarding an OB nurse at Mercy Care Hospital yesterday on the 6th floor. ...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Advises Robert De Niro To Be Sent To Jail Until Deemed Safe

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ATLANTA, GA - Last week Robert De Niro pushed for the Andrew Wakefield (yes, that Wakefield) film Vaxxed to be screened.  "We need to have the...
medical pager

October 16, 2015: National Toss Your Pager in the Trash Day

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Finally.  Pagers are on their way out for good! To the delight of physicians, physician assistants, nurse practitioners, nurses, and any other health care provider who...
atls by medical specialty

Do You Know Your ABCs by Subspecialty?

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CHICAGO, IL – The American College of Surgeons (ACS) released new subspecialty-focused primary survey guidelines for Advanced Trauma Life Support (ATLS) this week after...
never event medical error

New Year’s Resolution: Hospital Moving Away from Term “Never Event”… Due to Frequency of...

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NAPLES, FL - In 2011 when the term “Never Event” came into vogue for certain medical and surgical “whoopsies” that probably should never happen,...
medical students

In an Effort to Dissuade Students from Primary Care, Medical School Administrators Push for...

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - “Far too often medical students realize too late that primary care is nightmarishly broad, poorly compensated, and bloated with paperwork,” explains...
lightsaber

Vader Pharmaceuticals Introduces New EpiLightsaber for Anaphylaxis

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DEATH STAR II - In response to the growing prevalence of food allergies among employees of the evil Galactic Empire, Vader Pharmaceuticals have announced...
dilaudid graph

Study: Dilaudid Administration Directly Correlates with High Patient Satisfaction; Narcan Not So Much

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BOSTON, MA - As many doctors and nurses have discovered the hard way, a recent study published in the New England Journal of Medicine...