Primary Care

hospital ceo salary

Doctors and Nurses Fight Back: Proposal to Link Hospital CEO Salaries to Employee Satisfaction...

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CHICAGO, IL – State senators in Illinois voted yesterday 45 to 14 in favor of a new proposal put together by physicians, nurses, and other...
Trapped physician

Guest Delighted to Meet Physician at Party, Discusses Medical Symptoms for a Soul-Crushing 45...

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CHARLOTTE, NC - Last week at a cocktail party, a local woman was thrilled to learn that a another guest was a practicing internist.  "I've...
nice patient endangered species

Breaking: Nice Patients Added to Endangered Species List

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a move suggesting they are likely to become extinct unless something more is done to save them for future generations, the...

Hospice Agencies Pioneering a Different Approach to the Decidedly Unglamorous Process of Dying

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“Our clients customize their own End of Living Plans down to the finest details,” mused company spokesperson Delilah Banerjee. “Their final months, days, and...
emergency department

New KwikChek ED Expected to be a Hit

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BALTIMORE, MD - A revolutionary new emergency department will be tested soon in the Second Memorial Semi-Regional Healthcare Center and Annexes.  "We took functional...
medical music festival

Lineup Released for Boo-Boo Fest 2015

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INDIO, CA - With an early morning Facebook post and Tweet, the Boo-Boo Fest Medical & Surgical Arts Festival revealed their highly-anticipated lineup for...
hospital administrator golfing

A Modern Hippocratic Oath for Hospital Administrators

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Going forward, I swear to fulfill, to the best of my ability and judgment, this cost-saving and value-added covenant: I am an agent of change...

86-Year-Old Man Finally Passes Swallowed Gum from Childhood

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CINCINNATI, OH – Last Tuesday, against all odds, 86-year-old Gerald Reynolds, finally passed gum swallowed during his childhood.  Experts everywhere have stressed to children,...
multivitamins

New Multivitamin Cures Cancer, Heart Disease, Famine, Evil

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SAN DIEGO, CA - A new miracle multivitamin released by pharmaceutical company Pfizer last month has taken the world by storm as it not...
trump

If Elected, Trump to Appoint Jenny McCarthy as Surgeon General

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NEW YORK, NY - In a move which further establishes his anti-vaccine stance, Donald Trump announced yesterday that, if elected, he plans to appoint...