EMR Developers Shocked to Learn How Their Software is Actually Used
Several developers of widely-used electronic medical record (EMR) software were invited out of their cubicles last week for a much-hyped tour of the real-world...
North Korea Frantically Getting Rid of Expired Missiles Prior to Upcoming Joint Commission Inspection
PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA – The president of North Korea, Kim Jong-un shocked the world when he started launching missiles at a more frenetic pace than...
Beef Rib Named Official State Fruit of Texas
LOCKHART, TX - Say goodbye to the Texas red grapefruit as the official state fruit of Texas. Texas legislators will meet later tomorrow in...
Top 10 Reasons United is Forcibly Dragging Doctors Off Planes
THE INTERNET - United Airlines has come under fire after video surfaced of a doctor being dragged off a plane due to the airline overbooking...
TSA to Start Screening for Colorectal Cancer at Airports
ATLANTA, GA – U.S. government officials said on Thursday that they would start screening patients for unintentional weight loss and bloody stools, starting with...
Non-Physician Hospitals, The WebMD and Wikipedia Clinic, to Open in 5 Major Cities
BOSTON, MA - In a response to rampant poor patient satisfaction scores and an overall demand of patients for more autonomy in their care,...
Hospitalist Becomes Own Endless Loop
In a stunning procession of events, nocturnist Angus "Kilty" McSwagger became the only known hospitalist to experience the so-called "admission mirror paradox." Long speculated...
New CMS Guideline: Door-to-Dilaudid Time
WOODLAWN, MD - Today the Center for Medical Surveys (CMS) announced a radical change to benchmarking and patient satisfaction surveys. Realizing the opportunity to...
Homeopath to Drug Seeker: ‘I Thought You Said Dilute It’
SEATTLE, WA - Friday, local drug-seeker Garrett Ashton was reportedly shocked to learn that his Dilaudid was not available for pick-up, and in fact,...
Las Vegas Hospital Expands into Luxury Resort and Casino
LAS VEGAS, NV - In a bold new plan to increase hospital revenue streams, hospital administrators at Las Vegas Medical Center have teamed up with...