Medical Team Unable to Penetrate Patient’s Protective Blanket Cocoon
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - “I think it’s alive,” whispered intern Jason McCarren to nurse Mya Roberts, both at the patient’s bedside puzzled.
“Are you sure?”...
New Smartphone EMR Technology Allows Up To 120 Office Visits Per Hour
Primary care medicine got a lot faster last month when AutoDoc Technologies rolled out its newest diagnostic/EMR system, expected to allow physicians to see...
Nasogastric Broccoli, Brussels Sprouts Recommended for Children Who Refuse to Eat Vegetables
With parents struggling to get their kids to eat their vegetables, some doctors have developed a new workaround.
“We used to just use nasogastric (NG)...
Doctors and Nurses Form ‘The Gigantic Commission’ to Accredit The Joint Commission
SAN DIEGO, CA - With recent concerns over the credentials of employees of The Joint Commission (JC), doctors and nurses have formed a separate regulating...
After Another Horrid Shift, Doctor Calls Palliative Care on Self, Goes Home with Hospice
ATLANTA, GA - For internist Karen Davenport, today’s shift was the straw that broke the camel’s back. She struggled mightily as she was asked...
Doctor Achieves Lifelong Dream of Quitting Medicine Forever
“Finally!” he exclaimed, throwing his white coat, scrubs, and stethoscope onto a pile of logs. “I can’t believe I made it!”
Meet Hunter McCutchen. He...
Let Me Have at Your Johnson
EXAM ROOM 4, UROLOGY CLINIC - Hello, sir. You seem a little bit nervous. Well, there’s no need for that, I can assure you. After...
Report: Essential Hypertension, Not at All Essential
PITTSBURGH, PA - Scientists discovered Wednesday that essential hypertension is not at all essential for life. "We were totally wrong when we discovered hypertension,"...
Neurologists Recommend Gas-X for Treatment of Brain Farts
MINNEAPOLIS, MN - The American Academy of Neurology (AAN) has updated their guidelines for the diagnosis and management of brain farts, a condition characterized...
Groundbreaking Study Finds ‘Apple a Day’ Therapy Prevents 100% of Hospital Readmissions
KANSAS CITY, MO – A group of researchers who set out to find the most effective way to prevent hospital patients from having to...