Primary Care

need coffee

Crisis Brewing as Unit 61’s Coffee Machine Broken

17
SEATTLE, WA - A huge crisis is brewing at Arabica Medical Center this morning as medical staff have discovered that the hospital’s best coffee...
homeopathy

Homeopath to Drug Seeker: ‘I Thought You Said Dilute It’

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SEATTLE, WA - Friday, local drug-seeker Garrett Ashton was reportedly shocked to learn that his Dilaudid was not available for pick-up, and in fact,...
astrology

Astrological Signs Predict What Kind of Patient You Are

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA — An assembly of doctors who keep notes about the behavior of their patients grouped by astrological sign has released its...
veterinarian

Veterinarian Turfs German Shepherd to Hospital Medicine

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN - Hospitalists at Minnesota Healthcare suffered one more devastating blow this morning as local veterinarian Tom Anderson turfed yet another animal, this...
doctor in er

Primary Care Physician Shocked to Hear Young Male Not Presenting for Penis Problem

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On Thursday, September 27th of the year 2018, Dr. Lauren Deeply Indebt received the shock of her life: a young healthy male presented to...
oxy coaster

FDA Approves OxyContin for Kids Tall Enough to Get on This Ride

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PHARM WATER KINGDOM, FL - Acknowledging the importance for safe medicine in children, the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) recently approved the potent painkiller OxyContin...
atls by medical specialty

Do You Know Your ABCs by Subspecialty?

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CHICAGO, IL – The American College of Surgeons (ACS) released new subspecialty-focused primary survey guidelines for Advanced Trauma Life Support (ATLS) this week after...

This Physician Won the KevinMD Big Burnout Sweepstakes. Here’s Why.

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TWITTER – The social media giant was abuzz today when news broke that John Roberts, a primary care physician from Sioux Falls, SD, had...
emr

The Fantasy Google Electronic Medical Record Vs. Reality

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Maybe Google needs to be hired for the next generation of electronic medical records.  Most of us would appreciate these new changes.

Researchers Discover Length of “A While”

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ST. LOUIS, MO -  It turns out, when a patient’s symptoms have been present for “a while,” they began about 4.2 months ago. So say researchers...