Primary Care

vaccines

Big Pharma Admits They’re Just Trying to Kill Everybody with Vaccines

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - In what is being hailed as a huge victory for the anti-vaccine movement, Big Pharma announced to the world today that they've...
patient cocoon

Medical Team Unable to Penetrate Patient’s Protective Blanket Cocoon

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA - “I think it’s alive,” whispered intern Jason McCarren to nurse Mya Roberts, both at the patient’s bedside puzzled. “Are you sure?”...
APGAR 10 Apgart Apgar(t) troponin troponins

Breaking News! Baby Scores Perfect APGAR Scores of 10 and 10

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ST. LOUIS, MO - GomerBlog is on the scene of breaking news coming out of Busch Hospital in St. Louis, Missouri.  Initial reports are indicating...
pediatric er

League of Pediatricians Lobbying For New ICD-10 Codes: ‘Probably a Virus’ & ‘First-Time Mother’

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In light of the new ICD-10 roll out, the League of Pediatricians has come forth with a mission statement set to dispel the requirement...

Medical Specialties as Harry Potter Characters

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Dolores Umbridge, Corenelius Fudge, Percy Weasley- Administration- you operate on a sliding scale of likability and we aren’t sure if you’re evil, rigid, or...
homeopathy

Homeopath to Drug Seeker: ‘I Thought You Said Dilute It’

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SEATTLE, WA - Friday, local drug-seeker Garrett Ashton was reportedly shocked to learn that his Dilaudid was not available for pick-up, and in fact,...

Patient Stuck in Endless ‘Clearance’ Referral Pattern, Hasn’t Had Surgery in 6 Years

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Mr. Smith, a 67-year-old man with a fair number of medical problems, has been trying to be medically cleared for an inguinal hernia operation...
physical therapy

Physical Therapist Evaluates Patient But Refuses to Treat

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA – In a stunning turn of events, a physical therapist at St. Agnes Medical Center has evaluated a patient but is refusing...
cpr clear

ZDoggMD: Clear!

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We should petition CPR classes to just show ZDoggMD's video.  The excruciating 8 hour class could be summed up in 3 minutes.  Hands only...

Social-Histories Improve Markedly Following Social Media Data Hack

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Medical institutions across the nation have noticed a dramatic increase in the social history accuracy of their medical records over the past month, following...