Primary Care

insulin

FDA Bans Insulin Amid Reports of Increased Amputations and Other Life Threatening Diseases

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MEMPHIS, TN – The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced on Monday that they are pulling insulin off the shelves across the country.  "We...
older patient sundowning

Combative Little Old Lady Requires Record-Breaking 11-to-1 Sitter

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SEATTLE, WA - Looks can be deceiving.  87-year-old Marsha Lynch may look like a lovely little old lady, but when she sundowns, she’s one...
walking

Census Data Project Power-Chair Riders Will Outnumber Pedestrians by 2040

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WASHINGTON, DC - The Census Bureau released a mountain of data last week, and among the most interesting trends is the astronomical increase in...
gluten free meme

How to Become Gluten Intolerant

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Ever wonder how you can become gluten intolerant even if you don't actually have gluten intolerance or celiac disease?  We have found a video...
doctor patient

Breaking: Patient States His Medical History Should “All be in the Computer”

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CHARLESTON, SC - Breaking News emerged today out of South Carolina’s Emergency Department of Save Us All Memorial Hospital (SUAMH). A 57-year-old patient arrived...

ICD-11 to Feature Only Three Codes: Sick, Well, or Dead

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ATLANTA, GA - As the nation’s hospitals and clinics panic over implementation of the ridiculously unintuitive and immensely complicated ICD-10, a stealth council of...

Hospital Unveils Pain Scale That Goes to Eleven

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VANCOUVER, BC - In the movie This is Spinal Tap, guitarist Nigel Tufnel proudly shows off an amplifier that turns up to eleven instead...

Man ‘Accidentally Falls’ on Gerbil That Ran Through Lube

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MEMPHIS, TN – A local resident presented to the emergency room with an unusual complaint this evening.  Chief complaint: "My bottom really hurts." At first he was...
bronies facebook

Medical Referral Placed to Bronies Facebook Group for Second Opinion

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HOUSTON, TX - 48-year-old Mark Wilkersten has been battling with bilateral knee pain for several years now.  After seeing his primary care doctor for...
placebo pill

Pharma on the Search for Second Generation Placebo

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After decades of clinical drug trials involving placebos,Placebo pills now have too many side effects.  We need a second generation placebo pill the pharmaceutical...