New Year’s Resolution: Hospital Moving Away from Term “Never Event”… Due to Frequency of...
NAPLES, FL - In 2011 when the term “Never Event” came into vogue for certain medical and surgical “whoopsies” that probably should never happen,...
Amidst Obesity Epidemic, Task Force Creates Glasgow Food Coma Scale
ATLANTA, GA - In response to the public health crisis of food comas resulting from the ongoing obesity epidemic, the 3N Joint Task Force,...
Man On Gluten-Free Diet Has No Idea What Gluten Actually Is
Chad Bennington, a 32-year-old otherwise healthy male without celiac disease, saw a new phrase on his favorite cereal box at his local grocery store. ...
Octogenarian Ejected in Grisly Power-Chair Accident
BRADENTON, FL - The dining room at Shady Village Retirement Center was a hellish scene of twisted metal, blood, sinew, and mashed potatoes last week, as...
McDonald’s Introduces Value Meals With Cholesterol and Diabetes Medications Blended In
BOCA RATON, FL - In a landmark move being hailed as "a potential solution to the obesity epidemic" plaguing the U.S., the McDonald's Corporation announced...
Report: Essential Hypertension, Not at All Essential
PITTSBURGH, PA - Scientists discovered Wednesday that essential hypertension is not at all essential for life. "We were totally wrong when we discovered hypertension,"...
Hospital Eliminates July from Calendar, Decreases Mortality 3,000%
BOSTON, MA - Hospital administrators nationwide are hailing a successful new effort described as “downright brilliant” to help curb hospital mortality by eliminating July from...
‘Twas the Night After Christmas
'Twas the Night After Christmas
‘Twas the night after Christmas, at the front of the house,
The parents were lined up, all running their mouths.
Neb tubing...
IDSA Releases New Recommendations: Handwashing is Bullsh*t
ARLINGTON, VA - The world of medicine has been rocked early this morning with the release of new recommendations by the Infectious Diseases Society...
Primary Care Office Installs People Mover
DENVER, CO - In an effort to satisfy the demands of hospital administration, the physicians at Suncare Health made the easy decision to install...