Medical Team Unable to Penetrate Patient’s Protective Blanket Cocoon
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - “I think it’s alive,” whispered intern Jason McCarren to nurse Mya Roberts, both at the patient’s bedside puzzled.
“Are you sure?”...
Ask Alternative Medicine Doctors About Ebola
Complimentary and alternative medicine roundtable: Each installment of this section, we invite our readers to send us questions that are pertinent to their health,...
Hospitalist Becomes Own Endless Loop
In a stunning procession of events, nocturnist Angus "Kilty" McSwagger became the only known hospitalist to experience the so-called "admission mirror paradox." Long speculated...
Joint Commission Creates New ‘Primary Constipation Center’ Certification
OAKBROOK TERRACE, IL - On Monday, the Joint Commission unveiled its new certification aimed at the rapid treatment of constipation.
"Constipation affects nearly 4 million...
The Epic EHR Bartender
Patron: I’d like a beer.
Epic: Wait until I log on… (30 seconds) Welcome to Hyperspace!
Patron: I’d like a beer.
Epic: Pick from this list.
Patron: Hmm…...
Local Health System Admits to Scaring Away Older Physicians with Technology
LAS VEGAS, NV - When faced with the difficult work of encouraging some older, higher paid doctors to retire (so they could be replaced...
Commentary: I Wish Someone Would Tell Me Why My Vagina Keeps Bleeding
My name is Valerie. I'm thirty-five years old and I've been blessed with good health my entire life. I'm happily married and have two...
Octogenarian Ejected in Grisly Power-Chair Accident
BRADENTON, FL - The dining room at Shady Village Retirement Center was a hellish scene of twisted metal, blood, sinew, and mashed potatoes last week, as...
McDonald’s Introduces Value Meals With Cholesterol and Diabetes Medications Blended In
BOCA RATON, FL - In a landmark move being hailed as "a potential solution to the obesity epidemic" plaguing the U.S., the McDonald's Corporation announced...
Hospital’s New ‘Therapy Monkey’ Program Met with Mixed Reviews
AURORA, CO – Three weeks after its launch, an innovative new ‘Therapy Monkey’ program at Children’s Hospital Colorado is being met with mixed reviews....