Update: Cookie Monster Leaves Sesame Street Hospital AMA on Christmas Eve
SESAME STREET – As children around the world continued to hold candlelight vigils for Cookie Monster’s health, the shocking rumors that the muppet had left...
NFL Grants Seahawks’ Team Physician Access to Randomly Check Brady’s Balls
NEW YORK, NY - NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell announced yesterday his plan to address the New England Patriots’ latest veiled attempt to bend league rules to...
Dammit, It’s a Ruse! Nystatin Isn’t a Statin After All
BETHESDA, MD - The medical world is at a loss for words after scientists at the National Institute of Health (NIH) dropped the megaton...
Podiatrists Admit They’re Not Really Examining Patients, Just Tickling Them
TOEJAM LAKE, CA - At the 23rd annual National Podiatric Conference on Bunions, the board of directors voted 5-4 to admit what the public...
National Arthritic Society Lobbies for Climate Change
WASHINGTON, DC – The Koch Brothers and the National Arthritic Society (NAS) have teamed up to encourage global warming. It all started in the Land...
NSW Health Official Confirms: ‘Nothing Going Around’
SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - When 38-year-old Sydney accountant Peter Preston presented to his local GP earlier this week with coryzal symptoms, lethargy and a high temperature,...
Philadelphia Area Hospital Announces Program to House Homeless in Resident Call Rooms
PHILADELPHIA, PA - This summer, the board of Philadelphia City University Hospital (PCUH) plan to start moving the area's homeless population into permanent housing...
In an Effort to Dissuade Students from Primary Care, Medical School Administrators Push for...
PHILADELPHIA, PA - “Far too often medical students realize too late that primary care is nightmarishly broad, poorly compensated, and bloated with paperwork,” explains...
Chief Resident Regrets Decision to Serve Noodles During Lunchtime PowerPoint on Roundworms
ATLANTA, GA - “I have never seen so many people vomit their brains out at once,” said disappointed chief resident Frank Napoli as he...
After Binging on Pizza and Beer, Local Man Claims to Have Gluten Allergy
BERKELEY, CA – Local resident Charles Longfellow is no stranger to beer. “A typical weekend I’ll go through a couple cases,” he told reporters...