Patient Satisfaction Survey Study Halted, Mortality Increased 238% with Patient Satisfaction
LOS ANGELES, CA - "We have to halt this study immediately!" was a warning issued by lead researcher, Dr. Hans Willford from UCLA. "Long-term mortality...
Medical Team Unable to Penetrate Patient’s Protective Blanket Cocoon
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - “I think it’s alive,” whispered intern Jason McCarren to nurse Mya Roberts, both at the patient’s bedside puzzled.
“Are you sure?”...
ISIS Plans to Over-Prescribe Antibiotics
ISIS - The Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) released a statement on their social media yesterday with their new terror plans:
It isn't quite...
Study: 4th Graders with Google Better Doctors Than 96% of New Medical Student Graduates
BIRMINGHAM, AL - A new study published last week in Barney and Friends magazine revealed that 4th graders, if given a computer with internet search access, were...
Hospital Custodial Manager: ‘I Love Irritating the S**t Out of Them’
CLEVELAND, OH - GomerBlog reporters are able to confirm that custodial staff at Memorial Hospital do indeed intentionally buff floors and clean bathrooms at...
Lineup Released for Boo-Boo Fest 2015
INDIO, CA - With an early morning Facebook post and Tweet, the Boo-Boo Fest Medical & Surgical Arts Festival revealed their highly-anticipated lineup for...
Proposition 46 in California Designed by Inebriated Trial Lawyers, Sparks Proposition 47 and 48
SACRAMENTO, CA - A ferocious yearlong battle over Proposition 46 will be decided in California at the polls this upcoming November. Proposition 46 includes proposals...
Fears Grow As Even More Doctors Die On Neverending Phone Hold
ATLANTA, GA - The CDC released chilling statistics demonstrating an epidemic of doctor deaths while on endless phone holds. "This is a disturbing trend,"...
Hospital Gets Sexy as Overhead Speakers Start Playing a Little Marvin Gaye
ATLANTA, GA - Time to slow things down... real… slow… and heat things up. There’s a different feeling in the air at Georgia Medical...
Pain Detector Gives Actual Pain Score
JERSEY CITY, NJ - A great new invention coined PAIN, short for Pain Acquiring Instrument Neat-O, is starting to be utilized in ERs across the...