Primary Care

sponge bath

New Patient Satisfaction Initiative Mandates That All Patient Baths Have “Happy Ending”

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CARY, NC - In a bold and unprecedented move to increase patient satisfaction scores, administrators at Our Lady of Chronic Narcotic Dependence Hospital outside...
respiratory ventilator attachment

New Ventilator Attachment Safely Allows Smoking While Receiving Oxygen

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CHARLOTTE, NC - Bronco Products, Inc. is pleased to announce its revolutionary new ventilation product.  PapPal is an amazingly simple device that allows those...
condom, syringes

New Cracker Jack ‘Toys’ Include Condoms, Clean Syringes

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PLANO, TX - Frito-Lay has just announced "Good fun!" in the form of a limited edition of Cracker Jack Chocolate & Caramel Flavored Popcorn, in...

A Growing Trend with Men, Vasectomy Procedure Plans

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CHICAGO, IL - Recently a new trend has been spreading like wildfires throughout urology and family medicine clinics in the US…Vasectomy Procedure Plans.  Many...

Local Hospitalist Accidentally Writes Best-Selling Fantasy Novel While Trying to Change EMR Password

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DETROIT, MI - Just last week, local hospitalist Dr. Blake Harrison came across a scenario that seems to happen every 20 minutes these days:...
noodles that look like roundworms

Chief Resident Regrets Decision to Serve Noodles During Lunchtime PowerPoint on Roundworms

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ATLANTA, GA - “I have never seen so many people vomit their brains out at once,” said disappointed chief resident Frank Napoli as he...
physical therapy

Physical Therapist Evaluates Patient But Refuses to Treat

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA – In a stunning turn of events, a physical therapist at St. Agnes Medical Center has evaluated a patient but is refusing...

ZDoggMD: Manhood in The Mirror

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fypm_aeR5qA  

Brave Patient Speaks Up About Lower Back Pain

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LOS GATOS, CA – Mrs. Ann Oyin is a 82-year-old librarian who presented to her PCP for a cold that wasn’t getting any better....
gout

Patient Continues to Insist He Suffers from “The Gouch,” Not Gout

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NEW YORK, NY - Larry McCarthy is a 65-year-old gentleman who doesn’t believe in the classic food pyramid; he believes in meat and alcohol...