Primary Care

Rand Paul

Rand Paul’s Medical Credibility Lowered to Jenny McCarthy’s Level

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KENTUCKY - In a shocking statement released today by Rand Paul, a well-respected Kentucky senator and ophthalmologist, he believes vaccines can lead to "mental...
pokemon go

Pokemon Go Video Game Gets People To Go Outside

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CHICAGO, IL - Doctors are flabbergasted by what Nintendo has achieved. For years, they have been telling patients to stop playing video games and...
dog vaccine

Rabies Vaccines Result in Doggie Autism According to Andrew Wakefield, PETA Petrified

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HOLY SMOKES, NC - According to GomerBlog sources at GQ, it is true.  Rabies vaccines cause doggie autism.  The news came following a monumental...

Know Your Stethoscopes

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1. The Disposable Stethoscope This stethoscope can be found in contact precaution rooms, the ICU, or the pre-op area of an ophthalmology clinic.  It’s made...

Hollywood Good Guy Matt Damon Opens Up About EBV Positivity

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NEW YORK, NY - Matt Damon shocked medically illiterate TV viewers on Friday morning’s Today Show when he confirmed that he is positive for...
iv flush

Exciting New Treatment for ‘Status Dramaticus’ Released Today by the FDA and NIH

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BETHESDA, MD - Breaking news today from the FDA and NIH researchers in Bethesda,  MD.  A new treatment for Status Dramaticus (SD) has been...
medical consult

What ‘Thank You for the Interesting Consult’ Really Means, Part 1

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Initial consult notes usually end with the following line: Thank you for the interesting consult.  What does that really mean?  In the first of...
Olympics

STDs Running Rampant in Sochi Olympic Village

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SOCHI, RUSSIA – Apparently what happens in Sochi doesn’t always stay there.  Olympic athletes have been going at it strong and GomerBlog is sad...
grandma reindeer

Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer, Remains in Critical Condition

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OUTSIDE IN THE SNOW SOMEWHERE - GomerBlog is sad to report that Grandma was “found down” 3 days before Christmas during potential Santa Claus test...

Man ‘Accidentally Falls’ on Gerbil That Ran Through Lube

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MEMPHIS, TN – A local resident presented to the emergency room with an unusual complaint this evening.  Chief complaint: "My bottom really hurts." At first he was...