Primary Care

dr evil

Pharmaceutical Company Buys Out Another 20 Generic Drugs, Decides to Raise Drug Prices to…...

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DAYTON, OH - CEO of Turing Pharmaceuticals Martin Shkreli made another bold announcement today that his pharmaceutical company has now bought rights for 20 more...

Attending Answers Telephone at Nurse’s Station, Immediately Regrets Decision

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IOWA CITY, IA - Havoc struck the medical ICU this morning when 49 year old intensivist Oliver Reynolds inexplicably decided to answer a telephone...
bad diet

Doctor Accused of Body Shaming for Recommending Diet and Exercise

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TAMPA, FL - In a stunning display of insensitivity, Dr. Byron Myrtle is in hot water over accusations of body shaming and cyber bullying....

CDC: Medical Noncompliance Actually Caused by Virus

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ATLANTA, GA - In breaking news, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has discovered a new virus that causes medical noncompliance, thereby...

ICD-11 to Feature Only Three Codes: Sick, Well, or Dead

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ATLANTA, GA - As the nation’s hospitals and clinics panic over implementation of the ridiculously unintuitive and immensely complicated ICD-10, a stealth council of...
elderly lady

Sweet Little Old Lady Has Impressive Vocabulary of Profanity

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ATLANTA, GA - 94-year-old and 96-lb. Annabelle Rivers is as sweet and tiny as they come.  She always has her makeup done right first...
the sun

Health Care Providers Unsure What That Bright Yellow Glowing Orb is in the Sky

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CHARLESTON, SC - In an eye-opening new study published in the latest issue of JAMA (Just Another Medical Association), researchers at The Medical University...
bad diet

Hospital Introduces ‘American Diet,’ Patient Satisfaction Soars

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LOUISVILLE, KY - Patients and medical staff are abuzz about the University of Louisville Medical Center’s (ULMC) new dietary option: the American diet.  It...
nice patient endangered species

Breaking: Nice Patients Added to Endangered Species List

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WASHINGTON, DC - In a move suggesting they are likely to become extinct unless something more is done to save them for future generations, the...
medical consults

Tips: How to Suck at Calling Consults

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We all take pride in trying to call in a good consult.  But sometimes you get that feeling.  You know the one.  The one...