Primary Care

confused patient

Patient Still Concerned About Getting Sick from the Flu Shot

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MADISON, WI - Doreen Knowitall was horrified that her primary care physician again offered her a flu shot “Even though I told her I...
medical consults

Tips: How to Suck at Calling Consults

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We all take pride in trying to call in a good consult.  But sometimes you get that feeling.  You know the one.  The one...

Surface of Mercury Less Toxic Than Hospital Work Environment

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WASHINGTON, DC - Scientists at the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) have analyzed data suggesting that the surface of Mercury, though not suitable for...
placebo pill

Pharma on the Search for Second Generation Placebo

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After decades of clinical drug trials involving placebos,Placebo pills now have too many side effects.  We need a second generation placebo pill the pharmaceutical...
pumpkin spice

Hospitals Now Offering Seasonal Pumpkin-Spiced Patient Satisfaction Surveys

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BOCA RATON, FL - Hospital administrators at Madre De Díos Medical Center will now offer seasonal pumpkin-spiced patient satisfaction surveys in order to improve...

Primary Care Office Installs People Mover

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DENVER, CO - In an effort to satisfy the demands of hospital administration, the physicians at Suncare Health made the easy decision to install...
laundry

After 25th Stain, Doctor Finally Decides to Wash White Coat

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NEW YORK, NY - Physician Joel Winters had not washed his white coat in over 10 years.  However, after acquiring a 25th stain today...

ISIS Plans to Over-Prescribe Antibiotics

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ISIS - The Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) released a statement on their social media yesterday with their new terror plans: It isn't quite...

Pseudoseizure: Please Practice Before Coming to the ED

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MILWAUKEE, WI - Emergency department staff at Elm Grove Methodist Medical Center thoroughly enjoyed the complete nonsensical seizure performance by a local homemaker. Carol Whitaker, 43, of...
never event medical error

New Year’s Resolution: Hospital Moving Away from Term “Never Event”… Due to Frequency of...

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NAPLES, FL - In 2011 when the term “Never Event” came into vogue for certain medical and surgical “whoopsies” that probably should never happen,...