Primary Care

cyborg emr

Apocolyptic Electronic Medical Record Becomes Self-Aware

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"And just like that, the world burned."  Those haunting words were discovered deep within a nursing note by hospitalist Kilty McSwagger while he was...

Female Doctors Now Required to Show ID During Flight Emergencies

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ATLANTA, GA - Delta Airlines announced that "all female physicians will need to show identification during an in-flight emergency."  They are coming off of...
doctors and surgeons yelling

Report from ACP Internal Medicine Conference: Record Attendance by Internists Leaves Surgeons Struggling to...

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BOSTON, MA - GomerBlog is on hand to report that a record number of internists and hospitalists have attended this year’s American College of...
new stethoscope

New Littmann Stethoscope Allows You to Hear One’s Thoughts

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ST. PAUL, MN - Manufacturer 3M has released a new Littman Mind-Reading I Stethoscope for health care practitioners to help diagnose someone else’s thoughts,...

Hospital Pilots Pet Therapy with Black Bears, Grizzlies

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VALHALLA, NY - Hospital administrators at Westchester Medical Center are piloting a new pet therapy program using service animals - black bears and grizzlies,...
walking

Census Data Project Power-Chair Riders Will Outnumber Pedestrians by 2040

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WASHINGTON, DC - The Census Bureau released a mountain of data last week, and among the most interesting trends is the astronomical increase in...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Advises Robert De Niro To Be Sent To Jail Until Deemed Safe

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ATLANTA, GA - Last week Robert De Niro pushed for the Andrew Wakefield (yes, that Wakefield) film Vaxxed to be screened.  "We need to have the...
camera crew for inspections

NFL Grants Seahawks’ Team Physician Access to Randomly Check Brady’s Balls

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NEW YORK, NY - NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell announced yesterday his plan to address the New England Patriots’ latest veiled attempt to bend league rules to...
urology awkard

Let Me Have at Your Johnson

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EXAM ROOM 4, UROLOGY CLINIC - Hello, sir.  You seem a little bit nervous.  Well, there’s no need for that, I can assure you.  After...
Hilton Hospital

New Burger King and Hilton Hospital to Open

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CHICAGO, IL - Burger King and Hilton have merged together and plan to finish construction shortly on a new state of the art hotel,...