Primary Care

Know Your Stethoscopes

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1. The Disposable Stethoscope This stethoscope can be found in contact precaution rooms, the ICU, or the pre-op area of an ophthalmology clinic.  It’s made...
screening for cancer

TSA to Start Screening for Colorectal Cancer at Airports

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ATLANTA, GA – U.S. government officials said on Thursday that they would start screening patients for unintentional weight loss and bloody stools, starting with...
angry patient

Poor Colonoscopy Bowel Prep Blamed on Doctor

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BOUTTE, LA - Bobby Boudreaux's colonoscopy had to be aborted this morning due to a poor bowel prep, making it impossible to safely perform...
need coffee

Crisis Brewing as Unit 61’s Coffee Machine Broken

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SEATTLE, WA - A huge crisis is brewing at Arabica Medical Center this morning as medical staff have discovered that the hospital’s best coffee...
CDC headquarters, ignore, sit-up, sit-ups, anti-vaxxer cooties, pictures 2,300 words, eat sh*t and die, hypodermic needles, bed bugs, vanco, Zosyn, Lego, flu shot, exhalation, baseline, Vaseline, scabies

CDC Quarantines Jenny McCarthy

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ATLANTA, GA -- Due to the severe flu outbreak this season, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has decided to examine the...

Hospital Gets Sexy as Overhead Speakers Start Playing a Little Marvin Gaye

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ATLANTA, GA - Time to slow things down... real… slow… and heat things up.  There’s a different feeling in the air at Georgia Medical...

Doctor Sees Patient Outside of Clinic

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CHICAGO, IL - Dr. Wilkenson shared an elevator with one of his patients Wednesday.  “Diane.”  He said nodding his head.  “How’s the...”  He paused...

A Growing Trend with Men, Vasectomy Procedure Plans

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CHICAGO, IL - Recently a new trend has been spreading like wildfires throughout urology and family medicine clinics in the US…Vasectomy Procedure Plans.  Many...
noodles that look like roundworms

Chief Resident Regrets Decision to Serve Noodles During Lunchtime PowerPoint on Roundworms

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ATLANTA, GA - “I have never seen so many people vomit their brains out at once,” said disappointed chief resident Frank Napoli as he...
Dr. Oz testifying

State Medical Board Disciplines Dr. Oz by Forcing Him Back to Clinical Practice

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NEW YORK, NY - In a stunning conclusion to an ongoing debate about the future of Dr. Oz, the state medical board investigating him...