Move Over Pain Score….the Crazy Score is Here!
Given the overarching success of the Pain Score leading to the opioid crisis, The Joint Commission (for Healthcare Absurdity) has now added the sixth...
Tattoo-to-Tooth Ratio a Strong Intelligence Predictor
BIRMINGHAM, AL – Hospital administrators have been searching for better ways to educate patients prior to being discharged. Administrators may have found their answer...
‘I’m Never Going to Drink Again’ Uttered by 40 Million Americans New Year’s Morning
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The FDA estimates that over 40 million Americans will utter the phrase “I’m never going to drink again” on New Year’s...
‘Butthurt by ZDoggMD’ Added as New ICD-10 Diagnosis
LAS VEGAS, NV - Emergency departments everywhere have been experiencing a new epidemic sweeping into their triage rooms recently. Diagnosis: Butthurt. That’s right, butthurt...
Hospital Wristband Finally Identify ‘Pain in the A**’ Patients
SILICON VALLEY, CA – Following failed internal quality improvement efforts targeting drug-seeking patients, one California hospital took on a new tactic for difficult-to-deal-with patients.
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Medical Student Induces Auto-Dystonia from Over-Nodding
MADISON, WI - A new case report in the journal American College of Higher Education (ACHE) describes the first known case of self-induced auto-dystonia...
Drug Seeker Fills Entire Emesis Bucket with Noise Before Receiving Dilaudid
DAYTONA BEACH, FL - Deborah Samson, a 47-year-old non-diabetic drug seeker with a terrible but mysterious case of opioid-induced abdominal pain, was forced last week...
Hospital Pilots Pet Therapy with Black Bears, Grizzlies
VALHALLA, NY - Hospital administrators at Westchester Medical Center are piloting a new pet therapy program using service animals - black bears and grizzlies,...
‘Crazy’ Added to ICD-10, Right Next to ‘Dr. Oz Says’ Code
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Clinicians around the country were happy to learn that "Crazy" has been added to the upcoming ICD-10 codes, a most recent...
Psychiatry Consulted to Determine if Lungs Have Capacity
BOSTON, MA - In an unusual move yesterday at Massachusetts Lieutenant General Hospital (MGLH), a medical team has consulted psychiatry to determine if their...