Psychiatry

bed control

Fanduel to Debut Betting on Drunk ED Patients’ Alcohol Levels

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Popular daily fantasy sports betting site Fanduel announced today that they will soon be branching out into a new gambling,...
tatoo

Study Finds Needle Anxiety Worsens with Tattoos

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BALTIMORE, MD - Johns Hopkins researchers published a shocking new study in this month's New England Journal of Medicine showing a correlation between the...
emergency room patient

Local Drug Seeker Discovers That 8/10 Pain Gets The Same Amount of Pain Meds...

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Long-time drug seeker, Kyle Smith, recently discovered that stating his pain is 8/10 instead of the typical 12/10 gets him the same amount of...

Valium Advent Calendar Being Tested by Local Pharmaceutical Company

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SALT LAKE CITY, UT – Parents will be able to count down the days until Christmas in a much more soothing manner this season. A...
older patient sundowning

Combative Little Old Lady Requires Record-Breaking 11-to-1 Sitter

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SEATTLE, WA - Looks can be deceiving.  87-year-old Marsha Lynch may look like a lovely little old lady, but when she sundowns, she’s one...
father's day for physician or nurse

Last Minute Father’s Day Gifts for Your Physician/Nurse Dad

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Did you forget to buy your doctor or nurse dad a gift for Father’s Day?  Don’t worry, GomerBlog has you covered.  Here’s a last...

Emergency Psychiatry Will No Longer See Patients Unless Actively Committing Suicide

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The Emergency Psychiatry Department at Wakefield Hospital in Minnesota has released a consensus statement outlining the conditions under which they will consult a patient...
elf on shelf

Millions of Americans Battling Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move ‘Elf on the Shelf’ Variant

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ATLANTA, GA - The CDC has confirmed that a new anxiety syndrome has reached epidemic levels among parents nationwide.  Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move...

Emergency Departments Implement New Triage Form to Screen Patients for Actual Disease

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NEW YORK, NY - Myocardial infarction, subarachnoid hemorrhage, sepsis, diabetic ketoacidosis: these are examples of what the medical community regards as "real diseases."  Unfortunately,...
march madness

Patient Admitted to Psych with March Madness

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HOUSTON, TX - In breaking news, GomerBlog has learned 28-year-old James Winthrop will be admitted to Psychiatry for March Madness.  He presented to the...