Doctor Horrified to Learn That Today’s Actually Thursday, Not Friday
NEW YORK, NY - Colleagues are watching in stunned silence as Mount Sinai Hospital hospitalist Valerie Owens holds back the tears as it hits her...
Study Shows More Studies Would Be Needed to Study Future Results
BETHESDA, MD – A recent article published in the New England Journal of Medicine discovered that more studies would be needed to study future results....
Breaking: Hulk Hogan Has Hulkadepression
BEVERLY HILL, CA - After several decades of recurrent episodes of Hulkamania, retired pro-wrestler Hulk Hogan has been formally diagnosed with his first episode...
Astrological Signs Predict What Kind of Patient You Are
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — An assembly of doctors who keep notes about the behavior of their patients grouped by astrological sign has released its...
Medical Specialties as Harry Potter Characters
Dolores Umbridge, Corenelius Fudge, Percy Weasley- Administration- you operate on a sliding scale of likability and we aren’t sure if you’re evil, rigid, or...
American Geriatrics Association Publishes Guidelines on Gomeritis
The American Geriatrics Association has finally published its guidelines on gomeritis, a complex entity caused by the progressive deterioration of a gomerular brain. A...
The Days of Limitless “Allergies” Are Numbered
WASHINGTON, DC - Americans have always enjoyed the right to have a limitless numbers of allergies, but after new CMS guidelines were approved this week,...
Psychiatrist Downsizes Psychiatry Couch to Crappy Lawn Chair
LOS ANGELES, CA - The direct result of budgetary cutbacks and an attempt to stay afloat, psychiatrist Eric Tavernier has downgraded his psychiatry couch for...
Surgeon Struggles to Carve Turkey at Thanksgiving
DES MOINES, IA - Thanksgiving has finally arrived and is in full swing across the country. Millions of dysfunctional families get together for a celebration...