Local Drug Seeker Discovers That 8/10 Pain Gets The Same Amount of Pain Meds...
Long-time drug seeker, Kyle Smith, recently discovered that stating his pain is 8/10 instead of the typical 12/10 gets him the same amount of...
Fanduel to Debut Betting on Drunk ED Patients’ Alcohol Levels
LOS ANGELES, CA - Popular daily fantasy sports betting site Fanduel announced today that they will soon be branching out into a new gambling,...
Dr. Hal Dole Voted Best Psychiatrist of the Year
KEARNEY, NE - For the tenth year in the row, the venerable Dr. Hal Dole was recognized as the most effective psychiatrist by the...
ER Places Bowl Full of Percocet in Waiting Room, Lowers Visits
HANOVER, NJ – Local emergency medicine physicians have developed a groundbreaking way to reduce the number of patients they will see during a shift. The...
‘Butthurt by ZDoggMD’ Added as New ICD-10 Diagnosis
LAS VEGAS, NV - Emergency departments everywhere have been experiencing a new epidemic sweeping into their triage rooms recently. Diagnosis: Butthurt. That’s right, butthurt...
GI Cocktail Wasn’t the Cocktail Alcoholic Patient Had in Mind
LOUISVILLE, KY - Proud alcoholic Steven D'Amato presented to the Emergency Department (ED) of Louisville Medical Center (LMC) with minor withdrawal symptoms and mild...
Patient Goes on Tangent About Sines & Cosines
ATLANTA, GA - Though primary care physician (PCP) Evelyn Waters asked patient Phillip Rose how he was doing with lifestyle changes in regards to...
What Your Doctor or Nurse Means When They Say Your Loved One is ‘Doing...
The devil is in the details and, for patients and family members, those details can be hard to squeeze out of those shifty doctors...
Patient with Munchausen Syndrome Disappointed to Develop actual Disease
The sixth-floor inpatient medical ward, a normally bustling wing of the J. Hoffa Memorial Hospital, became decidedly more somber today. The etiology lay in...