Surgeon Struggles to Carve Turkey at Thanksgiving
DES MOINES, IA - Thanksgiving has finally arrived and is in full swing across the country. Millions of dysfunctional families get together for a celebration...
On-Call Resident Realizes Entire Housestaff is Sundowning
NEW YORK, NY - On her first overnight call, internal medicine intern Dr. Erica Dalton has realized the entire hospital staff is sundowning. “I...
Patient Admitted to Psych with March Madness
HOUSTON, TX - In breaking news, GomerBlog has learned 28-year-old James Winthrop will be admitted to Psychiatry for March Madness. He presented to the...
Pseudoseizure: Please Practice Before Coming to the ED
MILWAUKEE, WI - Emergency department staff at Elm Grove Methodist Medical Center thoroughly enjoyed the complete nonsensical seizure performance by a local homemaker.
Carol Whitaker, 43, of...
GI Cocktail Wasn’t the Cocktail Alcoholic Patient Had in Mind
LOUISVILLE, KY - Proud alcoholic Steven D'Amato presented to the Emergency Department (ED) of Louisville Medical Center (LMC) with minor withdrawal symptoms and mild...
To Hide Identity from Crazed Patients, Psychiatrists Urged to Use Porn Star Names Professionally
WASHINGTON, DC—Studies indicate that of all medical specialists, psychiatrists are the most likely to be physically harmed by their patients. In response, the American...
Adorbs! Med Student Thinks CAGE Questionnaire Has to Do with Pets
MIAMI, FL - Today during bedside rounds first-year medical student Eric Smiley was asked what he could tell the team about the CAGE questionnaire. ...
Breaking: Hulk Hogan Has Hulkadepression
BEVERLY HILL, CA - After several decades of recurrent episodes of Hulkamania, retired pro-wrestler Hulk Hogan has been formally diagnosed with his first episode...
Doctor Summons Courage to Toss Unread New England Journals
PITTSBURGH, PA - Sometimes it's better to acknowledge one's own shortcomings and move on. That is why we're saluting a hero, internist Dr. Keisha...
Emergency Departments Implement New Triage Form to Screen Patients for Actual Disease
NEW YORK, NY - Myocardial infarction, subarachnoid hemorrhage, sepsis, diabetic ketoacidosis: these are examples of what the medical community regards as "real diseases." Unfortunately,...