Psych Ward Temporarily Closes after Admitting a Patient with COPD
Charleston, WV - The Psychiatric Inpatient Unit at Memorial Hospital has temporarily closed due to an unplanned, insidious event. “The day started off as...
Borderline, Bipolar, and Depression Combined into One Diagnosis to Make Psychiatrist’s Lives Even Easier
CHICAGO, IL - In an unprecedented update to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, three previous separate diagnostic categories will be collapsed...
Veterinary ER Incapacitated by Doggie Psych Holds
DURHAM, NC - A local veterinary ER is currently open but essentially non-functional, as 8 of its 10 treatment rooms are occupied by suicidal...
Veterinarians Overdiagnosing Pets with ADD
BETHESDA, MD - The National Institutes of Health (NIH) released a troubling report which suggested that veterinarians in the U.S. are overprescribing stimulants to...
Patient Demands Accommodation for Emotional Support Lice
Patient Tom Schmidt was admitted to Community Hospital today for an infected diabetic foot ulcer when his nurse, Jake Hart, noticed him scratching his...
Drug Seeker Fills Entire Emesis Bucket with Noise Before Receiving Dilaudid
DAYTONA BEACH, FL - Deborah Samson, a 47-year-old non-diabetic drug seeker with a terrible but mysterious case of opioid-induced abdominal pain, was forced last week...
Patient with Munchausen Syndrome Disappointed to Develop actual Disease
The sixth-floor inpatient medical ward, a normally bustling wing of the J. Hoffa Memorial Hospital, became decidedly more somber today. The etiology lay in...
To Hide Identity from Crazed Patients, Psychiatrists Urged to Use Porn Star Names Professionally
WASHINGTON, DC—Studies indicate that of all medical specialists, psychiatrists are the most likely to be physically harmed by their patients. In response, the American...
CDC Issues Blood Gravy Content Chart for Thanksgiving
ATLANTA, GA - Ahead of Thanksgiving, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has issued a new blood gravy content (BCG) chart, reminding...