Psychiatry

dogs in cage at er

Veterinary ER Incapacitated by Doggie Psych Holds

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DURHAM, NC - A local veterinary ER is currently open but essentially non-functional, as 8 of its 10 treatment rooms are occupied by suicidal...

Local Psychiatrist Using Big Words, Wondering Why Patients Aren’t Improving

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MEMPHIS, TN - "I usually start the session off by telling the patient about my triple boards in psychiatry, adult developmental psychiatry, and addiction...
astrology

Astrological Signs Predict What Kind of Patient You Are

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SAN FRANCISCO, CA — An assembly of doctors who keep notes about the behavior of their patients grouped by astrological sign has released its...
respiratory system secedes capacity

Psychiatry Consulted to Determine if Lungs Have Capacity

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BOSTON, MA - In an unusual move yesterday at Massachusetts Lieutenant General Hospital (MGLH), a medical team has consulted psychiatry to determine if their...

ER Places Bowl Full of Percocet in Waiting Room, Lowers Visits

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HANOVER, NJ – Local emergency medicine physicians have developed a groundbreaking way to reduce the number of patients they will see during a shift.  The...
ADHD

Pediatric Community Stunned When Patient Brings Back Vanderbilt Forms for ADHD Evaluation

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LECOMA, MO - After being seen in the clinic about a week ago for chronic behavioral outburst, a local 9-year-old boy and his parents...

‘I’m Never Going to Drink Again’ Uttered by 40 Million Americans New Year’s Morning

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - The FDA estimates that over 40 million Americans will utter the phrase “I’m never going to drink again” on New Year’s...
dilaudid gastroparesis

Drug Seeker Fills Entire Emesis Bucket with Noise Before Receiving Dilaudid

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DAYTONA BEACH, FL - Deborah Samson, a 47-year-old non-diabetic drug seeker with a terrible but mysterious case of opioid-induced abdominal pain, was forced last week...

Psychiatry Residents Estimate that 30% of Consults are for Comatose Patients

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Dr. Charles Willis scowls at his beeping pager for interrupting his lunch break. “Christ almighty, I can’t sit down for a couple hours without...

Study Shows More Studies Would Be Needed to Study Future Results

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BETHESDA, MD – A recent article published in the New England Journal of Medicine discovered that more studies would be needed to study future results....