Drug Seeker Fills Entire Emesis Bucket with Noise Before Receiving Dilaudid
DAYTONA BEACH, FL - Deborah Samson, a 47-year-old non-diabetic drug seeker with a terrible but mysterious case of opioid-induced abdominal pain, was forced last week...
To Hide Identity from Crazed Patients, Psychiatrists Urged to Use Porn Star Names Professionally
WASHINGTON, DC—Studies indicate that of all medical specialists, psychiatrists are the most likely to be physically harmed by their patients. In response, the American...
Pediatrics Consulted for Adult Temper Tantrum on 5 West
El PASO, TX – Yesterday, at approximately 2:34 pm, on the 5th floor of Holy Cross Hospital, a STAT pediatrics consult was called in for...
Nurse in Psych ER Reprimanded for Double-Vision Halloween Costume After-Effect on Patients
WASHINGTON HEIGHTS, NY - “I do a medically-themed costume every year. This year was diplopia. People were loving it. The people who weren’t falling...
Surgeon Struggles to Carve Turkey at Thanksgiving
DES MOINES, IA - Thanksgiving has finally arrived and is in full swing across the country. Millions of dysfunctional families get together for a celebration...
Astrological Signs Predict What Kind of Patient You Are
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — An assembly of doctors who keep notes about the behavior of their patients grouped by astrological sign has released its...
A Primer to How We All Consult One Another
Does your patient need help but you're just not sure who to consult for help? This GomerBlog primer is here to break things down...
Millions of Americans Battling Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move ‘Elf on the Shelf’ Variant
ATLANTA, GA - The CDC has confirmed that a new anxiety syndrome has reached epidemic levels among parents nationwide. Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move...
New DSM to Classify Hearing Diastolic Murmur as an Auditory Hallucination
DUBUQUE, IA - Following a growing number of reports on the deteriorating mental health among doctors, the American Psychiatric Association decided to tackle the...
Breaking: Patient Reports 9 Out of 10 (Emotional) Pain
SAN DIEGO, CA - Laura Martin reported that she was in pain when her nurse came to check in on her.
"How bad is your...