‘Butthurt by ZDoggMD’ Added as New ICD-10 Diagnosis
LAS VEGAS, NV - Emergency departments everywhere have been experiencing a new epidemic sweeping into their triage rooms recently. Diagnosis: Butthurt. That’s right, butthurt...
Local Drug Seeker Discovers That 8/10 Pain Gets The Same Amount of Pain Meds...
Long-time drug seeker, Kyle Smith, recently discovered that stating his pain is 8/10 instead of the typical 12/10 gets him the same amount of...
To Hide Identity from Crazed Patients, Psychiatrists Urged to Use Porn Star Names Professionally
WASHINGTON, DC—Studies indicate that of all medical specialists, psychiatrists are the most likely to be physically harmed by their patients. In response, the American...
Lost Your Car in the Hospital Garage? Order a Consult
If it has happened once, it has happened a million times: you forgot where you parked. It is the end of the day and...
Physician Reprimanded for Overprescribing Therapy Dogs
RANCHO CUCAMONGA, CA – An Inland Empire doctor has been placed on probationary status by the Medical Board of California for overprescribing therapy dogs,...
Exciting New Treatment for ‘Status Dramaticus’ Released Today by the FDA and NIH
BETHESDA, MD - Breaking news today from the FDA and NIH researchers in Bethesda, MD. A new treatment for Status Dramaticus (SD) has been...
ZDoggMD: Blank Script
Check out ZDoggMD's "Blank Script" rendition of Taylor Swift's "Blank Space." Doctor shopping is alive and well and physicians watch out, Yelp is here!...
Hypochondriacs Try to Cope with Pandemic: It’s Not Going So Wel
SICKLERVILLE, NJ—Local hypochondriac, Emma Dyne, is not taking any chances with the coronavirus pandemic. For the last month, the 25-year-old healthy woman has worn...
Emergency Psychiatry Will No Longer See Patients Unless Actively Committing Suicide
The Emergency Psychiatry Department at Wakefield Hospital in Minnesota has released a consensus statement outlining the conditions under which they will consult a patient...
Drug Seeker Fills Entire Emesis Bucket with Noise Before Receiving Dilaudid
DAYTONA BEACH, FL - Deborah Samson, a 47-year-old non-diabetic drug seeker with a terrible but mysterious case of opioid-induced abdominal pain, was forced last week...