Psychiatry

Trapped physician

Guest Delighted to Meet Physician at Party, Discusses Medical Symptoms for a Soul-Crushing 45...

11
CHARLOTTE, NC - Last week at a cocktail party, a local woman was thrilled to learn that a another guest was a practicing internist.  "I've...
dogs in cage at er

Veterinary ER Incapacitated by Doggie Psych Holds

21
DURHAM, NC - A local veterinary ER is currently open but essentially non-functional, as 8 of its 10 treatment rooms are occupied by suicidal...

Kermit The Frog Diagnosed With Depression; Elmo Committed After Manic Episode

0
SESAME STREET -- Sesame Street was rocked by the shocking news that two of its most beloved characters were diagnosed with psychiatric illnesses this...

Borderline, Bipolar, and Depression Combined into One Diagnosis to Make Psychiatrist’s Lives Even Easier

0
CHICAGO, IL - In an unprecedented update to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, three previous separate diagnostic categories will be collapsed...
baby ADHD

Enfamil with Adderall Approved for Infantile ADHD

0
LEXINGTON, MA -  Spiral Pharmaceuticals has paired with baby formula giant Enfamil to create the world’s first amphetamine-fortified formula, which will treat a newly...
turkey sandwich haldol diets

New Haldol Creamy Spread Added to Emergency Room Sandwiches

0
PROVIDENCE, RI - Health care providers are raving about a new haloperidol-based condiment that can be surreptitiously added to almost any hospital meal tray,...
psychiatrist

To Hide Identity from Crazed Patients, Psychiatrists Urged to Use Porn Star Names Professionally

0
WASHINGTON, DC—Studies indicate that of all medical specialists, psychiatrists are the most likely to be physically harmed by their patients. In response, the American...
naptime in hammock

Renegade Clan of Nap Specialists Declare Independence from Sleep Medicine

2
DARIEN, IL - In a startling development, a renegade clan of nap specialists known as “The Nappers” have seceded from the American Association of...

Sonny Too Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, Admitted to Psych

0
GOLDEN VALLEY, MN - GomerBlog has learned Sonny the Cuckoo Bird has been transferred to General Mills’ Inpatient Psychiatric Unit after he was found...

SHITSTORM Red Flag Phrases During Patient Turnover

0
DJIBOUTI, DJIBOUTI - The 5th annual Seminar of Hospital Internists Technologists Surgeons Traumatologists Others RNs and More (SHITSTORM) convention resulted in the drafting of...