Tattoo-to-Tooth Ratio a Strong Intelligence Predictor
BIRMINGHAM, AL – Hospital administrators have been searching for better ways to educate patients prior to being discharged. Administrators may have found their answer...
Study Shows More Studies Would Be Needed to Study Future Results
BETHESDA, MD – A recent article published in the New England Journal of Medicine discovered that more studies would be needed to study future results....
Due to Late Consult, Psychiatrist Leaves Hospital After 3 PM
Psychiatry resident Dr. David Smith left the hospital around 3:30pm today, after arriving at about 11 am. At press time Dr. Smith could not...
If the Alcoholic Patient in Room 320 Soils His Sheets Again, Nurse Plans on...
MIAMI, FL - Emily Jenkins, a medical ward nurse, plans on completely "losing it" if the alcoholic patient in room 320 soils his bed sheets...
Haldol Blowdart Halted in Phase 3 Clinical Trial Due to ‘Safety Concerns’
MORRISTOWN, NJ - Recognizing the mounting need for new and creative ways to quickly administer haloperidol (a typical antipsychotic drug) to that “difficult” patient, Big...
Psychiatry Consulted to Determine if Lungs Have Capacity
BOSTON, MA - In an unusual move yesterday at Massachusetts Lieutenant General Hospital (MGLH), a medical team has consulted psychiatry to determine if their...
Doctor Horrified to Learn That Today’s Actually Thursday, Not Friday
NEW YORK, NY - Colleagues are watching in stunned silence as Mount Sinai Hospital hospitalist Valerie Owens holds back the tears as it hits her...
Move Over Pain Score….the Crazy Score is Here!
Given the overarching success of the Pain Score leading to the opioid crisis, The Joint Commission (for Healthcare Absurdity) has now added the sixth...
Psychiatrist Downsizes Psychiatry Couch to Crappy Lawn Chair
LOS ANGELES, CA - The direct result of budgetary cutbacks and an attempt to stay afloat, psychiatrist Eric Tavernier has downgraded his psychiatry couch for...