Psychiatry

elf on shelf

Millions of Americans Battling Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move ‘Elf on the Shelf’ Variant

0
ATLANTA, GA - The CDC has confirmed that a new anxiety syndrome has reached epidemic levels among parents nationwide.  Panic Disorder, Forgot to Move...
bed control

Fanduel to Debut Betting on Drunk ED Patients’ Alcohol Levels

0
LOS ANGELES, CA - Popular daily fantasy sports betting site Fanduel announced today that they will soon be branching out into a new gambling,...
beginning runners pages tPA

Psychiatric Trauma Code Successfully Implemented

3
ALAMEDA COUNTY MEDICAL CENTER - Following the model set by their colleagues in Trauma Surgery and Emergency Medicine, the Psychiatry Department has implemented a new...
Mr. Potato Head fryer French fries

Tragedy: Mr. Potato Head Takes Own Life by Jumping into Fryer

0
BROOKLYN, NY - Unable to cope any longer after a lifetime of hospitalizations for recurrent organ detachment, beloved spud, 65-year-old Mr. Potato Head, has...
doctor updating

What ‘Thank You for the Interesting Consult’ Really Means, Part 2

34
This is a continuation from our first post: What "Thank You for the Interesting Consult" Really Means, Part 1.  Let’s go! Nutrition Translation: Like it or...
psychiatry resident

Due to Late Consult, Psychiatrist Leaves Hospital After 3 PM

0
Psychiatry resident Dr. David Smith left the hospital around 3:30pm today, after arriving at about 11 am.  At press time Dr. Smith could not...

Fancy Medical Terms and What They Really Mean

0
Nurses and doctors use fancy words to communicate and sound smart before patients, families and each other. Having spent most of his adult life...

Montana Psychiatrist Arrested for Hosting Underground “Emotional Support Animal Fights”

0
Bozeman, MT - The wild west just became wild again! Dr. Samuel Oaks, a college psychiatrist at Montana State University was arrested for hosting...
wristbands

Hospital Wristband Finally Identify ‘Pain in the A**’ Patients

0
SILICON VALLEY, CA – Following failed internal quality improvement efforts targeting drug-seeking patients, one California hospital took on a new tactic for difficult-to-deal-with patients. Like...

Kermit The Frog Diagnosed With Depression; Elmo Committed After Manic Episode

0
SESAME STREET -- Sesame Street was rocked by the shocking news that two of its most beloved characters were diagnosed with psychiatric illnesses this...