Psychiatry

emotional scar collagen

Breaking: Patient Reports 9 Out of 10 (Emotional) Pain

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SAN DIEGO, CA - Laura Martin reported that she was in pain when her nurse came to check in on her. "How bad is your...
icu pumps

American Geriatrics Association Publishes Guidelines on Gomeritis

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The American Geriatrics Association has finally published its guidelines on gomeritis, a complex entity caused by the progressive deterioration of a gomerular brain.  A...
adhd veterinarian

Veterinarians Overdiagnosing Pets with ADD

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BETHESDA, MD - The National Institutes of Health (NIH) released a troubling report which suggested that veterinarians in the U.S. are overprescribing stimulants to...

Veterinarians Demand Cease and Desist of Emotional Support Animal Letters in Wake of Burnout...

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Veterinarians are seeing a spike in burn out amongst dogs, thanks to rampant abuse of the “emotional support animal” label (ESA). In the past...
Blood gravy content concentration level

CDC Issues Blood Gravy Content Chart for Thanksgiving

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ATLANTA, GA - Ahead of Thanksgiving, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has issued a new blood gravy content (BCG) chart, reminding...

Pseudoseizure: Please Practice Before Coming to the ED

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MILWAUKEE, WI - Emergency department staff at Elm Grove Methodist Medical Center thoroughly enjoyed the complete nonsensical seizure performance by a local homemaker. Carol Whitaker, 43, of...
cat licking

Cats Outperform Humans in Treating Patients with Borderline Personality Disorder

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The psychiatric community is abuzz regarding an innovative treatment approach for patients with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) that has both improved outcomes and lowered...
Mr. Potato Head fryer French fries

Tragedy: Mr. Potato Head Takes Own Life by Jumping into Fryer

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BROOKLYN, NY - Unable to cope any longer after a lifetime of hospitalizations for recurrent organ detachment, beloved spud, 65-year-old Mr. Potato Head, has...

Breaking: Hulk Hogan Has Hulkadepression

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BEVERLY HILL, CA - After several decades of recurrent episodes of Hulkamania, retired pro-wrestler Hulk Hogan has been formally diagnosed with his first episode...
bed control

Fanduel to Debut Betting on Drunk ED Patients’ Alcohol Levels

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LOS ANGELES, CA - Popular daily fantasy sports betting site Fanduel announced today that they will soon be branching out into a new gambling,...