Psychiatry

tangent

Patient Goes on Tangent About Sines & Cosines

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ATLANTA, GA - Though primary care physician (PCP) Evelyn Waters asked patient Phillip Rose how he was doing with lifestyle changes in regards to...
emergency room patient

Local Drug Seeker Discovers That 8/10 Pain Gets The Same Amount of Pain Meds...

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Long-time drug seeker, Kyle Smith, recently discovered that stating his pain is 8/10 instead of the typical 12/10 gets him the same amount of...
turkey sandwich haldol diets

New Haldol Creamy Spread Added to Emergency Room Sandwiches

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PROVIDENCE, RI - Health care providers are raving about a new haloperidol-based condiment that can be surreptitiously added to almost any hospital meal tray,...
crazy ICD-10 diagnosis

‘Crazy’ Added to ICD-10, Right Next to ‘Dr. Oz Says’ Code

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WASHINGTON, D.C. - Clinicians around the country were happy to learn that "Crazy" has been added to the upcoming ICD-10 codes, a most recent...
pharmacy

Pharmacy Creates Express Line for Psychotropic Drugs

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HOUSTON, TX - A local pharmacy has taken a novel approach to meet the need of patients’ hectic schedules.  Whereas most pharmacies disperse medication on...
psychiatry resident

Due to Late Consult, Psychiatrist Leaves Hospital After 3 PM

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Psychiatry resident Dr. David Smith left the hospital around 3:30pm today, after arriving at about 11 am.  At press time Dr. Smith could not...

New DSM to Classify Hearing Diastolic Murmur as an Auditory Hallucination

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DUBUQUE, IA - Following a growing number of reports on the deteriorating mental health among doctors, the American Psychiatric Association decided to tackle the...
doctor updating

What Your Doctor or Nurse Means When They Say Your Loved One is ‘Doing...

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The devil is in the details and, for patients and family members, those details can be hard to squeeze out of those shifty doctors...

Hospital Approves Giving Parents Medication Before Children’s Surgery

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HOUSTON, TX - Last week, Children's General Hospital approved a new medication protocol to assist children undergoing surgical procedures.  Anxiolytic medication, such as midazolam,...

Borderline, Bipolar, and Depression Combined into One Diagnosis to Make Psychiatrist’s Lives Even Easier

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CHICAGO, IL - In an unprecedented update to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, three previous separate diagnostic categories will be collapsed...