Psychiatry

dilaudid gastroparesis

Drug Seeker Fills Entire Emesis Bucket with Noise Before Receiving Dilaudid

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DAYTONA BEACH, FL - Deborah Samson, a 47-year-old non-diabetic drug seeker with a terrible but mysterious case of opioid-induced abdominal pain, was forced last week...

Bill Clinton Thought Balloons Were Silicone Breasts

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - GomerBlog’s psychiatric team was found to be correct that Bill Clinton was hallucinating during the Democratic National Convention (DNC) several days...
patient in pain

Patient with Munchausen Syndrome Disappointed to Develop actual Disease

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The sixth-floor inpatient medical ward, a normally bustling wing of the J. Hoffa Memorial Hospital, became decidedly more somber today. The etiology lay in...
Blood gravy content concentration level

CDC Issues Blood Gravy Content Chart for Thanksgiving

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ATLANTA, GA - Ahead of Thanksgiving, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) has issued a new blood gravy content (BCG) chart, reminding...

Hospital Hires Retired Drug-Sniffing K9s as Pet Therapists, Dramatic Reduction of Shady Patients, Visitors...

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COLUMBIA, SC - In an applauded and creative move last month, administration at Our Lady of the Mixed Connective Tissue Disorder Hospital (OLMCTDH) decided to...
wristbands

Hospital Wristband Finally Identify ‘Pain in the A**’ Patients

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SILICON VALLEY, CA – Following failed internal quality improvement efforts targeting drug-seeking patients, one California hospital took on a new tactic for difficult-to-deal-with patients. Like...
blank script

ZDoggMD: Blank Script

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Check out ZDoggMD's "Blank Script" rendition of Taylor Swift's "Blank Space."  Doctor shopping is alive and well and physicians watch out, Yelp is here!...
psychiatry resident

Due to Late Consult, Psychiatrist Leaves Hospital After 3 PM

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Psychiatry resident Dr. David Smith left the hospital around 3:30pm today, after arriving at about 11 am.  At press time Dr. Smith could not...
lawn chair

Psychiatrist Downsizes Psychiatry Couch to Crappy Lawn Chair

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LOS ANGELES, CA - The direct result of budgetary cutbacks and an attempt to stay afloat, psychiatrist Eric Tavernier has downgraded his psychiatry couch for...
driving to ED

Uber Rolls Out New ED-to-ED Transit Service for Drug Seekers

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PHILADELPHIA, PA - Filling a niche in a market that has been underserved for years, on-demand transportation company, Uber, has rolled out a novel...