Saturday, January 2, 2021

Psychiatry

Surgeon Struggles to Carve Turkey at Thanksgiving

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DES MOINES, IA - Thanksgiving has finally arrived and is in full swing across the country.  Millions of dysfunctional families get together for a celebration that involves giving thanks, food comas, gluttony, beer, and football.  Sounds...
beginning runners pages tPA

Psychiatric Trauma Code Successfully Implemented

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ALAMEDA COUNTY MEDICAL CENTER - Following the model set by their colleagues in Trauma Surgery and Emergency Medicine, the Psychiatry Department has implemented a new "Trauma Code" protocol in their ER and inpatient units. Specific parameters...

Doctor Has Pseudoseizure to Avoid Patient with Pseudoseizures

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TAMPA BAY, FL - Zelda Wilkins credits her “high pain tolerance” as the only way she can handle her affliction with pseudoseizures.  Despite frequenting four different hospital systems within the city, 93% of ER...

Hospital Approves Giving Parents Medication Before Children’s Surgery

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HOUSTON, TX - Last week, Children's General Hospital approved a new medication protocol to assist children undergoing surgical procedures.  Anxiolytic medication, such as midazolam, can now be administered to parents to children headed to...

Nurse in Psych ER Reprimanded for Double-Vision Halloween Costume After-Effect on Patients

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WASHINGTON HEIGHTS, NY - “I do a medically-themed costume every year.  This year was diplopia.  People were loving it.  The people who weren’t falling down were absolutely loving it.” Nurse Marlenas, who works at Nofun...
Trapped physician

Guest Delighted to Meet Physician at Party, Discusses Medical Symptoms for a Soul-Crushing 45...

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CHARLOTTE, NC - Last week at a cocktail party, a local woman was thrilled to learn that a another guest was a practicing internist.  "I've got to meet him!" Sandy Rosenbleeth confided to her long-time...

Pseudoseizure: Please Practice Before Coming to the ED

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MILWAUKEE, WI - Emergency department staff at Elm Grove Methodist Medical Center thoroughly enjoyed the complete nonsensical seizure performance by a local homemaker. Carol Whitaker, 43, of Wauwatosa presented to the Emergency Department yesterday with what she...

Study Shows More Studies Would Be Needed to Study Future Results

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BETHESDA, MD – A recent article published in the New England Journal of Medicine discovered that more studies would be needed to study future results.  "This is truly remarkable," said medical expert Dr. Tom Hutch....
An alcoholic dream

Alcoholic Fills Out Negative Patient Survey for Care Received on Christmas Morning

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NEW ORLEANS, LA - 52-year-old Milton Applewood, a raging alcoholic who visits Holy Cross Hospital on a weekly basis, was appalled at the medical care he received on Christmas morning. “Absolutely trashed,” proclaimed Applewood in...

If the Alcoholic Patient in Room 320 Soils His Sheets Again, Nurse Plans on...

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MIAMI, FL - Emily Jenkins, a medical ward nurse, plans on completely "losing it" if the alcoholic patient in room 320 soils his bed sheets again.  "I’ve had it!" she proclaimed.  "He is an ignorant,...