CDC recommends Dr. Oz wear “Duct Tape Mask” to slow down false information
Atlanta, GA - CDC released new guidelines Thursday which includes a "Duct Tape Mask" for Dr. Oz to wear. "These new guidlines should have been in place years ago," Dr. Stephanie Harper the...
Surgeon Happiness Declared Risk Factor for Surgical Site Infection by AORN
Denver, CO – AORN President Missi Merlino, MHA, CNOR, CSSM, BFD, WTF, OPP, GED announced a new recommendation this week.
“Based on zero evidence whatsoever, AORN has determined that Surgeon happiness is a risk factor for...
Try to Blame Anesthesia Now, Buddy
In a stunning turn of events, all it took was one global respiratory pandemic to recognize that anesthesia might not be to blame.
“Man, before it was so easy to yell at anesthesia for the...
Desperate Hospital Endorses Dirty Sock as Preferred PPE
CHICAGO, IL—As coronavirus counts rise, local hospitals face shortages of personal protective equipment (PPE). With any remaining viable PPE hoarded in the homes of worried-well patients, administrations have been forced to take innovative approaches...
In Last-Ditch Effort, Federal Reserve Gives Crashing U.S. Stocks 1 Amp of Bicarb
NEW YORK, NY - In a truly last-ditch effort to prevent U.S. stocks from crashing, the Federal Reserve Bank of New York has asked Pharmacy for 1 amp of bicarb.
"I'M LOSING A PULSE,...
Social Distancing: Big & Tall Medical Supply Shop Finally Selling Its 6-Foot-Long Stethoscopes
NEW YORK, NY—Mocked for years for its unpopular line of very long medical equipment, Manhattan Big & Tall Medical Supplies is finally getting the last laugh. With health care workers wishing to keep a...
Bronx Tiger Tests Positive for COVID19; Tampa Tigers Test Positive for Carole Baskin’s 2nd...
"Doc Antle has told me numerous times that there is no identifiable trace on a tiger days after they’ve eaten a ground up human, let alone 19 years and 325 days after! Its laughable, the whole thing really is.”
Snapchat Filters Prove Helpful for Female Physician’s Telemedicine Business
Boston, MA - With the current COVID-19 crisis many physicians are turning to telemedicine to offer continuity of care to their patients. One female, primary care physician has found that her approach to telemedicine...
Breaking: Man Flu Caused by COVID-19
BETHESDA, MD - In a major scientific breakthrough, researchers at the National Institute of Health have uncovered that man flu is both real and caused by pandemic COVID-19.
Though the first case of novel coronavirus...
COVID-19: TV Docs to be Called Upon in Time of Crisis
ATLANTA, GA - In light of the ongoing coronavirus pandemic, the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention (CDC) is now officially requesting fictional doctors to step in as physicians on the front line. Included...