New ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Vaccine Covers All Infections A to Z
ALPHABET CITY, NY—With so many recommended vaccines—MMR, DTaP, IPV, Hib, PCV, RV etc—it can be challenging to remember all their names, let alone when...
Politicians, Nostalgic for the 1990s, Unanimously Support “Medicare-for-All-4-One
WASHINGTON, DC—In a stunning display of bipartisanship that is all too rare in Washington these days, Congress unanimously passed a new health insurance plan...
Patient With No Past Medical History Has Sternotomy Scar, Central Line, G-tube
An area emergency room physician was stunned today when his patient, a 4 year old boy whose parents denied any medical history, was found...
New Drug Company “Big Pharma” releases full range of Placebos
Despite being one of the most studied medications there has never been a range of placebos released onto the market. The newly launched Pharmaceutical...
Physicians can now legally ghost patients
New York, New York- In an exciting turn of events congress has recently passed bill 151, also known as “the ghost law”. After much...
FDA approves new drug for hypochondria, Placebadil
Stock prices of Pfizer are predicted to hit record levels in the next 6 months. This is because they recently introduced the first ever...
Interventional Radiology and General Radiology Sign Nuclear Treaty
OSLO, NORWAY - This past Friday the American Radiology Association facilitated a landmark nuclear deal between members of interventional radiology and general radiology. Deep-rooted...
General Practitioner Pilots Rewards Program for Chronic Patients
SEATTLE, WA - Dr. Samuel Sheepman, a general practitioner at Wortley Medical Clinic, has created a new frequent flyer rewards program for chronic illness...
Desperate Officials Offer Deal to Twentysomethings: If You Wear a Mask, You Can Ditch...
BEAR, DE—In an admirable attempt to incentivize mask-wearing amongst America’s twentysomethings, who are thought to be driving the summer resurgence of Covid-19 due to...
‘Schmutz’ Added to List of ICD-10 Radiologic Diagnoses
In a stunning move by the WHO this past Friday, “Schmutz” was formally incorporated into the list of acceptable ICD-10 diagnoses for radiological findings.
Technically...