Record Number of Medical Providers Creating Gifts Using Things Around the Hospital
ATLANTA, GA - With Christmas right around the corner, you would think medical providers far and wide are scrambling to find and wrap presents for their family and friends, especially if they are working...
Ketchup Packet in Random Clinic Drawer Turns 5 Years Old Today
NEW YORK, NY - And a Happy Fifth Birthday today to the 9-gram Heinz Ketchup packet located in a random desk drawer in some office at NYU Langone Medical Center! It was placed there...
Consultant Tries Being Nice, Decides It’s Overrated
On Friday afternoon, top gastroduodenopathologist Dr. Reedol D. Specimenz made a life-changing decision. "I wanted to try something new," says the forty-four-year-old specialist, sipping a glass of Dom Perignon on the top deck of...
Intrepid Med-Peds Explorers Set Out to Search for Rumored Med-Peds Hospitalist Jobs
YUKON TERRITORY, CANADA - Dispatches from the frozen north today report that a group of 40 brave Med-Peds physicians have set out into the Yukon territory in search for fabled Med-Peds Hospitalist jobs.
For many...
Intake Nurse Report: Ex-FBI Director Jim Comey is Really Freakishly Tall
WASHINGTON, D.C. - According to numerous nursing sources who have taken his vital signs and other intake information, recently-fired FBI Director James "Jim" Comey's height can be best classified by the terms "absolutely freakish"...
Framingham Heart Study Researchers Release New Risk Score Abacus
FRAMINGHAM, MA - Boasting that it will be easier than ever to estimate the 10- and 30-year cardiovascular risk of an individual, principle investigators at the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute (NHLBI) &...
Administrators Volunteer To Screen Patients During Pandemic
After spreading the CDC’s gospel for healthcare workers exposed to
COVID-19 and lacking face masks to show up to work with their bandanas, health administrators also left their telehuddles (where it was decided that nurses...
Popularity of New Discharge Instructions Surges in Pediatric Emergency Departments
As EMR’s continue to replace paper charting in hospitals across the country, pre-made discharge instructions are becoming more popular. However, a particular set of instructions is paving the way for pediatric emergency departments nationwide...
Coerced by Lasso of Truth, Wonder Woman Gets Patient to Admit Pain Only 2...
THEMYSCIRA - Wonder Woman overheard a strange patient describing his pain as "20 out of 10." Seeking justice and finally safe from an ER bolus of admissions that put her Bracelets of Submission to...
Attending Gives Medical Student Honors For Standing Out Of The Way In The Operating...
SAN DIEGO, CA - “Impeccable.” Atoway, a third year medical student, was floored as he read his attending’s evaluation for him on his surgery clerkship.
“His ability to stand out of the way during a...
